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Sunday, August 2, 2015

It was not my fault, not all of it, anyway

My aging is kind of a problem. For example my memory. It has improved so dramatically I remember things that didn't even happen. Man, I was a hero, epic and immortal. When things got bad, who did people call?  Well, you know the answer. Not really, mostly my memory is very unflattering, and it seems like I spent most of my life as a dork. But, that is fine, because it doesn't seem to be genetic. My sons seem to be able to manage in social situations. It, it one less thing to worry about, and life offers plenty of opportunities for concern.

  1. Phosphorous Deficiencies.
  2. Curly Top Virus.
  3. Flea Beetles
  4. Tobacco Hornworms
  5. Fusarium Wilt
  6. Bacterial Canker
  7. Catfacing
  8. Sunscald
And these are just if you are trying to grow tomatoes. Plants are pretty simple things and seemed relatively fool proof, until we decided to garden. 

Now, we have to check the soil acidity, and pH levels. Fertilizer, and water, and sweat, and tears, and they produce a few tasty, but small tomatoes. And then the plants wither and die. But, hope springs eternal, and every year we try.

This year it was two tomato plants and a pepper plant, and we killed them, poor plants. They aren't
dead yet, but they are fading fast. I feel awful. Poor, innocent plants, stuck in the ground, motionless, unable to escape, helpless against the coming catastrophe. I am not sure they understand the hopelessness of the situation.

Next year I might warn them, when we are picking them out, I might add, "this is a suicide mission, you will have no chance of success, and we are looking for volunteers. Any takers?" I will have to do this behind my wife's back, she still believes we might figure this out, and enjoy a bountiful harvest. Poor, innocent wife.

It might be kindness that kills the plants, it might be they need a little discipline. "Grow, damn you!" I don't know.

After looking at our plants our neighbor said we could have some of his tomatoes, a little charity is good for the soul, and the salad, and the bacon, lettuce, tomato sandwich. We will feast tonight.