What we should discuss is the history of Thanksgiving. It began sometime around... it was about the time of... when the... It has been going on for a long time, a really long time, nobody knows when it started, but it had something to do with football, everybody can agree on that.
Careful, thorough research has led to the true roots of this wonderful day.
Early man learned that at a certain point in the year he could stop mowing the lawn. Soon after that he discovered that all of the leaves had been raked up and hauled away by an early waste disposal person.
And he said, "thank God. You know, I should take Thursday off, and eat like a glutton, and sleep through a football game or two, and then maybe have some pie."
Early Wife said, "Ok, but if you are doing that, I am shopping like a demon on Friday, early as hell, too."
Early man said, "All right, I hope they have some good deals."
And there you have the true origin of Thanksgiving.