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Thursday, December 24, 2015

A Christmas Story goes a little haywire.

"Meanwhile, far away, in another part of the world."

A faint light shone in through the open blinds, not really enough to see anything, just enough to make everything homogeneous and indistinguishable. A grey blanket of bland, dull, lifeless, blah.  The Tooth Fairy had the means to see in low light, a nice pair of night vision goggles* but Central Procurement, Distribution, and Supply was out of batteries, so to make the stupid things last until the next shipment Bob only used them when needed.

Assuming there was enough light Bob would just rough it and look unaided. Most time it works out, tonight it didn't. Bob stepped on a dog's squeaky toy, and a small dog came running out of a room yapping and wagging and wiggling, almost electric with delight.

Right behind the dog a little girl came out rubbing her eyes, "Bolton what are you doing?" She flipped a light switch, and looked at Bob, the Tooth Fairy, who was holding the dog in one hand, yipping, snapping and almost smiling, and the squeaky toy (a rainbow colored raccoon) in the other.

"Hi," the little girl said, "My name is Amanda."

Bob felt awkward, and uncomfortable, this was a violation of the rules, (Page 1, Article 1, Line 1,don't get discovered,). He was not supposed to be discovered. He looked at the girl, and the dog, and the fireplace, and finally the squeaky toy. He sat the dog down and tossed the raccoon towards the kitchen. Bang, the dog was gone like a shot.

Bob thought, in for a dime, in for a dollar, and said, "hi, I'm Bob, the Tooth Fairy." Which was a violation of the rules, (Page 1, Article 1, Line 1a, don't talk to humans).  He was not supposed to talk to humans.

A plan began to swirl, and twist, and turn, and twist some more, and in a flash Bob had a twisted plan, with a tortured end game, setting the world right, for Bob, anyway.

"Amanda, I am so happy to meet you!" Bob, was tall, and Amanda was not, so he had to bend way down to shake her hand." He pulled up an Easy Boy recliner, and touched a few buttons on his phone, and smoke, flash, muffled boom the chair shrunk to Amanda's size.

"Set down, I have a little deal for you. I know the standard practice has been to leave a little coin for an old, discarded tooth, but, working together we can make some changes. If you will give me your tooth, I will give you a partnership in the my new World Government. Would you like that?"

"I guess so," said Amanda, "can I have pop for breakfast?"

* 279.99 at with free shipping. Mention this blog when you order.

Unfortunately for Eddie, and you, and me our little tale of self discovery, and rebirth has taken an awful turn. Stay tuned, Eddie, and the Extranaturals will need your support.

To Be Continued.