Recently things have been a little tight, here at Life Explained, Ohio (LEHELLNO). We have had to take a few side jobs. Hey, we all got to eat, right. Taxes ate up a big chunk of our capitol and a few foolish investments, devoured the rest.
The investment that hurt the most was the atomic car. What an idea. Until you run into a Google driverless car, and they get in a huge shouting match, each car blaming the other for the accident, soon they open fire and the car powered by splitting the atom self destructs and levels half of Milwaukee, including the Blatz Brewing Company, and Miller Park, home of the Brewers. It cost a fortune to rebuild, and we had to close our Wisconsin branch permanently.
Anyway we had to take odd jobs to make ends meet. Dr. Dawg is working as a herd dog on a turkey farm down in Southern Ohio. He hates it, but he has taught the turkeys how to organize a labor union. They have petitioned the National Labor Relations Board for Thanksgiving off, and it is looking promising. Unless you were planning on having turkey, that is.
I had to take a job clearing Rebel scum from the galaxy. Fortunately I had read the book "The Idiot's Guide to the Force for Dummies." I wanted to take a job with the rebel alliance, but the brochure "Come over to the Dark Side. We have paid holidays, a retirement plan, dental insurance, and casual Fridays" really got to me.
Plus, the Death Star Juice Bar is first rate, with Endor Forest Fruit Smoothies that are as delicious as they are delightful.
I still get to wear the comfortable blanket looking robe thing, and the hours are pretty good. Management can be a little officious, and the rules are repressive, but, it beats the hell out of tutoring snotty rich kids.
I have to go clean out a facility on the frozen planet. I will talk to you soon.
Friday, April 22, 2016
To Whom it May Concern, and everybody else.
There is not much to say, but, for those who find any offense, please remember these are only stories, jokes, and have no relation to reality. Kind of like life.
I like life, and hope it lasts a long time, but it does require some explanation, that is why these blogs exist. To help people navigate times and events that make no sense.
Here are a few places you can find a few things.
The Original Life Explained. Where it all started, a little rambling and a lot of nothing important.
Life Explains The End Views on humanity's race to self extinction. I hope I am wrong.
Life Explains Smiles Because everybody likes it when you smile.
Life Explains Aging Getting older is not always easier, but it is worth the effort. And a few small things can make it much more pleasant.
Life Explains Traveling and Commuting Mostly commuting. Driving bugs me and working bugs me so driving to work is the ultimate insult of modern life, and I like to complain.
Life Explained Explores History. The real problem with history is there is so much of it. It is all over the place. But, if you take the time to look at the small pieces it is fascinating.
Life Explains Music Music is a universal language. I like guitar based rock and roll, but there is a little bit of a lot here.