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Thursday, April 21, 2016

A Chance for Immortality.

If you look hard enough you can see the point where the past and the future collide. It is called the present. Since it passes so quickly it is almost impossible to notice. One infinitesimal flash and it is gone. You really have to be on your toes.

What is the point of finding that one time/place/instance where time meets? It is the heart of the universe. Finding that definable instant is the key. Time travel, space travel, unlocking the secrets of matter, creation, the past, the future, all lie just on the other side.

Obviously the company that can find it will be wealthy, powerful, popular and extremely sought after for late night talk shows, and scholarly journals, maybe even the cover of People Magazine. 

We, here at Life Explained, feel we have the best chance of finding that opportunity. Let's face it, our competitors don't even know it exists. They can eat our cosmic, light speed traveling dust, if you catch our drift.

It is expensive though. Extremely expensive. Today's best technology is too primitive, too slow, we need to build our own Ultra High Speed Cameras, and the Worlds Fastest Dual Processor Monster Computers. We need scanners that scan in ways never imagined, we need particle accelerators that accelerate smaller particles faster than anybody ever dreamed, we need a new espresso machine (the last one was demolished in the territorial wars between accounting and legal, covered in next weeks post, "Lessons Learned the Hard Way"). We need things we don't even know we need yet.

We need you, to send us money, as much as you can, and as often as possible. For the person who donates the most we will go back in time and add their face to Mount Rushmore. You want to talk about a great way to impress the in-laws, here it is.

"So, Bob, what do you do for a living?"

"I deliver beer, and my face is on Mount Rushmore."

"Wow, that's cool!"

We take most major credit cards, cash, and bearer bonds of any type, bit coin, and pay pal. 

Thank you, we are forever in your debt, not that we intend to pay you back, that is just being polite.