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Thursday, May 12, 2016

That was fun, While it lasted.

Recently one of my coworkers gave us a note pad. It was on a little pallet. It was a nice gesture, but how do you move a tiny pallet of paper around on a desk? A forklift was out of the question, and a pallet moving device (pallet jack) is too big. Fortunately Dr, Dawg had a device to shrink things. Now we are set, as soon as we have a volunteer to shrink to a size that fits our needs. Interested?

Having a brand new notepad is a liberating experience. No longer are you shackled by the requirements of polite conversation. Unbound by social mores and values that have been in place since the days of dueling you are able to tell people what they need to hear.

Finally, we can tell the other people how we truly feel. "Nice tie, Joey, did you get it at the Big and Tasteless Shop?" That guy is a slob. "Nice presentation, Alicia, next time maybe you could use a megaphone and really cause some pain." Alicia can drone on for hours, and has a voice once used at Gitmo, but it was too inhumane. "No, Bob, nobody wants to hear about your head cold, or your asthma, or your wet, recurrent cough, sprained ankle or the wart looking thing on your foot." That guy is a walking bag of disgusting ailments and symptoms.

Finally, we were freed of the restraints, the chains had been cast aside. The Company was going to be a much happier place, thanks to our little notepad. People would begin to understand the jerks they had become. It was power, a gift, and we were not going to waste it.

Yesterday we came in and our notepad was gone. In its place was this greeting card.

Well, that stinks, now we have to go find a way to have a nice day without our notepad. Trust us, when Becky tells you to have a nice day, you have a nice day, no matter how much is sucks.