Life Explained, The People

We, here at the Life Explained Family of Companies, like to think of ourselves as fairly moderate, reasonable people. A group of people who care about the worlds problems, and the welfare of humanity. On the whole we are kind, considerate decent human beings with a lot to offer.

Of course there are exceptions, like that jerk, Robby from Research and Development who always drinks the last cup of coffee, but is too busy to make another pot. A pox on that worthless coffee drinking, leaving the pot empty piece of filth, I hope he loses his hair.

Oh, and I heard that Phyllis and Rolando from Transportation are having a fling, not a romantic relationship, but actually tossing bits of their lunch at each other. Sandwich crusts, yogurt cups, ice from finished drinks, all hurled over the cubicle walls. What a couple of morons, they deserve each other, and a sinus infection.

Don't forget Delores from accounting, and Becky from HR, a two headed, our armed modern day Medusa. If you never have to deal with either of them it doesn't matter, they will seek you out, and try to suck the will to live out of you with an approach of maximum irritation, and unimaginable venom and loathing. I would wish something bad on them, but they terrify me, and everybody else.

And those guys from the laboratory are nothing but a bunch of thin skinned little...

Well, maybe we aren't all such decent people, but hey, I'm a nice guy. If only there were more of me this would be a lot better place.

That was fun, While it lasted.

Recently one of my coworkers gave us a note pad. It was on a little pallet. It was a nice gesture, but how do you move a tiny pallet of paper around on a desk? A forklift was out of the question, and a pallet moving device (pallet jack) is too big. Fortunately Dr, Dawg had a device to shrink things. Now we are set, as soon as we have a volunteer to shrink to a size that fits our needs. Interested?

Having a brand new notepad is a liberating experience. No longer are you shackled by the requirements of polite conversation. Unbound by social mores and values that have been in place since the days of dueling you are able to tell people what they need to hear.

Finally, we can tell the other people how we truly feel. "Nice tie, Joey, did you get it at the Big and Tasteless Shop?" That guy is a slob. "Nice presentation, Alicia, next time maybe you could use a megaphone and really cause some pain." Alicia can drone on for hours, and has a voice once used at Gitmo, but it was too inhumane. "No, Bob, nobody wants to hear about your head cold, or your asthma, or your wet, recurrent cough, sprained ankle or the wart looking thing on your foot." That guy is a walking bag of disgusting ailments and symptoms.

Finally, we were freed of the restraints, the chains had been cast aside. The Company was going to be a much happier place, thanks to our little notepad. People would begin to understand the jerks they had become. It was power, a gift, and we were not going to waste it.

Yesterday we came in and our notepad was gone. In its place was this greeting card.

Well, that stinks, now we have to go find a way to have a nice day without our notepad. Trust us, when Becky tells you to have a nice day, you have a nice day, no matter how much is sucks.