Today, on Life Explained, Explains Vacations we are explaining Vacation Dining. Yes, that is right, Life Explained Explains Vacation Dining. Yes, this is just another tawdry attempt to get some restaurant in some place that we might want to visit to give us a free meal, and possibly a cold beer (it could be domestic, if that is the best you will offer). And yes, we are all out of yeses.
First, let's cross off all the places that exist everywhere. Vacation dining should never involve McDonalds, Burger King, Taco Bell, or Wendy's. For one thing they don't serve beer, unless you are vacationing in Germany, where rumors speak of beer on tap at the golden arches. Of course that is not really fair, we have a friend that lives in Germany and she assures us beer is not difficult to find. It is never a good idea to eat food that is readily available at home while you are on vacation, it is an unwritten law, But, don't worry, we are taking care of that in our soon to be released Life Explained Guide to Life, Unwritten Laws Written smash best seller.*
Since we are going to be in Gatlinburg TN for a respite in September we will focus on dining in the Smoky Mountains of Tennessee.
Personally, we have always enjoyed the "Best Italian on the Parkway." The food is fantastic, and they advertise "The Best Bloody Marys in Town" which is a big draw. Of course there is another restaurant on the same street, we think it is Howard's, slightly east, or west or north, maybe south (we have no idea, but it is on the same street, in the same town, separated by very small distance) that makes the same claim.
We are going to take this trip to finally answer the question "who has the best bloody mary in Gatlinburg?" I know it is almost too good to be true.
Of course, every bloody mary we had was pretty good, so we have decided to make this contest a little different. The restaurant that is willing to buy us a meal and a couple of drinks (they don't even have to be bloody marys) will be declared the winner.
That's right, for the price of a few meals, and a couple of beers you can claim to have the best bloody mary in Gatlinburg as decided by the Life Explained University of Mixology. And if that is too steep throw a few appetizers and a pitcher our way, and you have an award.
See you in Tennessee for the award ceremony. I am so excited.
* Preorder yours now, or you might not get one, and man will you look foolish. Everybody in the neighborhood talking about the exciting rules actually written down (spoiler alert, page 37 will shock you), and you will be unable to join in the fun because you were too cheap to shell out a few bucks, plus shipping and handling.
Tuesday, August 9, 2016
Life Explains Vacation Dining.
Labels: bloody mary, drinks, Gatlinburg, Howards, pandering, pleading, Tennessee, The Best Italian on the Parkway
There is not much to say, but, for those who find any offense, please remember these are only stories, jokes, and have no relation to reality. Kind of like life.
I like life, and hope it lasts a long time, but it does require some explanation, that is why these blogs exist. To help people navigate times and events that make no sense.
Here are a few places you can find a few things.
The Original Life Explained. Where it all started, a little rambling and a lot of nothing important.
Life Explains The End Views on humanity's race to self extinction. I hope I am wrong.
Life Explains Smiles Because everybody likes it when you smile.
Life Explains Aging Getting older is not always easier, but it is worth the effort. And a few small things can make it much more pleasant.
Life Explains Traveling and Commuting Mostly commuting. Driving bugs me and working bugs me so driving to work is the ultimate insult of modern life, and I like to complain.
Life Explained Explores History. The real problem with history is there is so much of it. It is all over the place. But, if you take the time to look at the small pieces it is fascinating.
Life Explains Music Music is a universal language. I like guitar based rock and roll, but there is a little bit of a lot here.