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Tuesday, August 9, 2016

Life Explains Vacation Dining.

Today, on Life Explained, Explains Vacations we are explaining Vacation Dining.  Yes, that is right, Life Explained Explains Vacation Dining.  Yes, this is just another tawdry attempt to get some restaurant in some place that we might want to visit to give us a free meal, and possibly a cold beer (it could be domestic, if that is the best you will offer). And yes, we are all out of yeses.

First, let's cross off all the places that exist everywhere. Vacation dining should never involve McDonalds, Burger King, Taco Bell, or Wendy's. For one thing they don't serve beer, unless you are vacationing in Germany, where rumors speak of beer on tap at the golden arches. Of course that is not really fair, we have a friend that lives in Germany and she assures us beer is not difficult to find. It is never a good idea to eat food that is readily available at home while you  are on vacation, it is an unwritten law, But, don't worry, we are taking care of that in our soon to be released Life Explained Guide to Life, Unwritten Laws Written smash best seller.*

Since we are going to be in Gatlinburg TN for a respite in September we will focus on dining in the Smoky Mountains of Tennessee.

Personally, we have always enjoyed the "Best Italian on the Parkway." The food is fantastic, and they advertise "The Best Bloody Marys in Town" which is a big draw. Of course there is another restaurant on the same street, we think it is Howard's, slightly east, or west or north, maybe south (we have no idea, but it is on the same street, in the same town, separated by very small distance) that makes the same claim.

We are going to take this trip to finally answer the question "who has the best bloody mary in Gatlinburg?" I know it is almost too good to be true.

Of course, every bloody mary we had was pretty good, so we have decided to make this contest a little different. The restaurant that is willing to buy us a meal and a couple of drinks (they don't even have to be bloody marys) will be declared the winner.

That's right, for the price of a few meals, and a couple of beers you can claim to have the best bloody mary in Gatlinburg as decided by the Life Explained University of Mixology. And if that is too steep throw a few appetizers and a pitcher our way, and you have an award.

See you in Tennessee for the award ceremony. I am so excited.

* Preorder yours now, or you might not get one, and man will you look foolish. Everybody in the neighborhood talking about the exciting rules actually written down (spoiler alert, page 37 will shock you), and you will be unable to join in the fun because you were too cheap to shell out a few bucks, plus shipping and handling.