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Sunday, November 13, 2016

Eight and Two, making 'em happy, one session at a time

I would like to take a minute and bring a bit of cheer to America. The Nebraska Cornhuskers are 8 and 2.  Yes, I know I predicted an undefeated season, and a National Championship and we (the Nebraska Cornhuskers, and I) are going to fall a little short, but here is a news flash, next year I will predict the same thing.  And I predicted a woman president, and improved, usable mass transit in Columbus, and a Nobel Peace Prize for Dylan (not really, that took me by surprise) so I know predicting the future is tricky business. But, 8 and 2 makes me pretty happy.

Generally speaking happiness is a user definable term, and there are people whose teams are 9 and 1 after yesterday, and they are despondent. It is a relative thing. Yesterday was almost the extinction level event in the college football playoff rankings. To my college football fan brethren I offer you my support, and my affection.

I have decided to set up a sports psychology and therapy organization, free of charge. Kind of a grief counseling for those who have lost something dear, despite the fact they have lost nothing at all. Any true fan knows a teams loss resonates through a teams supporters for days. It is a wave effect, rippling through people who never played, many of us, (myself included) never had the talent to play college football, and almost all of us (myself particularly) have neither the knowledge nor the intestinal fortitude to coach. Can you imagine the tension they feel as they watch a close game slip away in the waning moments. I suppose the millions of dollars helps ameliorate the misery. (note to self, expand organization to add coaches, consider charging)

You see, I, like my brothers from Michigan, Clemson, Washington, and countless others through the years have watched a team loaded with talent, almost ordained by fate to be considered godly in its glory beaten by a bunch of cheating, underhanded, talentless hacks and their zebra striped minions.  How many times my team has had victory stolen by the a fame seeking, money dripping coach and his referee mafia. It makes me sick to this day.

Which is why I am offering this service to my friends, and fellow fans, whose blue and gold, or orange and blue, or purple and gold are teared stained, and torn, left in a miserable pile of broken dreams and chili cheese nacho stains.  Don’t despair, tomorrow will come, eventually, and the sun will shine again, someday. But, unless you come to Life Explained Loss Therapy it might take a while. Football, basketball fans welcome, the relief is real, and free, coaches, call me and we can discuss the fee.