The Year in Review, 2023

 2023 The Year in Review

This year I had to get a new coffee grinder. I was forced to do this when the old coffee grinder
disappeared. There were no pieces, no fractured plastic shards from an unfortunate tumble to the floor, no ashes from a freak electrical surge, no ransom note. Here today, gone today, almost as if it never existed. It was a year like that. All year.

 

Robert F. Kennedy Jr. announced his candidacy for president. He has been a vocal opponent of vaccines, an active Covid denier, and generally opposed to any sort of attachment to reality. He launched, initially, as a democrat, not surprising, for a Kennedy. A wave of resentment and hostility persuaded him to switch to independent, which seemed to irritate Republicans. He just can’t get along with anyone. We, here at Life Explained, would like to wish him the best of luck in whatever he decides to pursue after losing the election.

 

International war made a big comeback. Russia invaded Ukraine, and Hamas and Israel have once again resorted to armed conflict (though, Israel may feel this is more of an internal security issue than a war with a sovereign neighboring state). These are both potential catastrophes, exacerbated by the American governments inability to make any progress on almost any issue. 

 

In a shocking acknowledgement of the law a candidate for president was removed from the ballot in two states. Donald Trump, facing numerous felony charges, was stricken from the rolls in Colorado, and Maine. It’s a safe bet other states will follow, but not this year. It’s a safe bet that Trump will threaten both states with expulsion from the union, invasion, nuclear strikes, mass incarceration, and anything else his fevered mind, and rabid advisors, can dream up. Still, it makes for a nice thought. Politics without Trump. Religion without Trump. News without Trump.

 

In much the same way as video killed the radio star, streaming programming has taken over television. Technically, this may have happened before this year. I just didn’t notice it. I probably wouldn’t have noticed it this year if I hadn’t seen every episode of Wagon Train, Leave it to Beaver, The Andy Griffith Show, several times. Now, my reruns are reruns. I probably should think about subscribing to one of the many, similar, expensive services, but I wouldn’t know where to begin. I’d pay for something I wouldn’t understand and couldn’t use. I have a computer and a smart phone for that. 

 

It does make for some interesting conversations at work, when one of my co-workers ask about the latest episode of some modern, streaming, high tech program and I say “no, but did you see ‘Perry Mason and The Case of the Deadly Verdict’? Perry Mason actually lost a case.” The conversation died right there.

 

In China it was the year of the Rabbit (lucky numbers 3, 4 and 6). In Chinese culture the rabbit is a symbol of longevity, peace and prosperity. While that seems a bit of a stretch, the American economy churned along, unemployment fell, and the standard of living has crawled up from the rubble of the Trump presidency. So, it might be closer to the truth than it appeared. 

 

The state of Florida is investigating the NCAA for not selecting Florida State to participate in the Championship Playoffs. It cost the university several million dollars and a possible trip to the White House. College football has had a long history of pissing people off. Selecting teams that over other teams, in many ways it was a beauty contest, a lot of it had to do with pedigree, and the determination of the athletic director, possibly the connections established, it never hurts to have a history of membership on committees and panels. It’s who you know, and looking at the teams that were chosen this year,it still is.

 

2024 (the Year of the Dragon, confident, intelligent, enthusiastic, lucky numbers 1, 6 and 7) is closing in fast. The presidential election looms large and forbidding. The climate is warming and may have reached the point of no return. College selection committees are going to choose who they choose, and people are going to complain. I’m not sure it will be that much different, but I have a new coffee grinder.

 

 

 

The Final Bracketologist Post of the Year, (maybe)

I would like to take a minute to clear the air. We, here at Life Explained Department of Bracketology, don’t want anybody to lose. We would like everyone to win, go home happy, be greeted by celebrations, parades, adoring crowds, and unbridled adulation. But, we are realistic enough to understand that is not going to happen. So, as long as someone is going to lose it might as well be the teams we had picked to lose. Only one team is going to win the championship, that is a given, but, who wins is a matter of circumstance, luck, unkind fate, uncalculable variables.  

As long as that is the case we feel we would be remiss to just let nature take it’s toll on these hardworking young men. With that in mind we have a foolproof plan for next year’s tournament. We are going to fill out our bracket and email it to every school participating in the “big dance.” It will act as a script. They will know when to lose, and avoid all the heartbreak, all of the crushing pain of loss, and the inescapable cloud of uncertainty. 

Now they can plan their spring breaks, know when to plan their homecoming parade, the coaches could schedule vacations, golf trips, and time with the family. Fans will know exactly how many tickets to buy and would be able to book rooms and arrange travel. It would be a boon for so many people. Plus, we would do so much better in the pools.

It is probably going to work so much better than our previous attempt. We asked each team how many games they intended to win. Oddly enough they all said they were going to win all the games, and intended to be champions. That plan, relying as it did on the ability to understand ego and reality was riddled with flaws. We feel this plan has some real potential, some real possibilities. We should have thought of this years ago. 

I would like to mention my friend Mike Raven, over at the Blog Of Thog, has something cooking up for next weekend. Mike may not be much of a cook, but he knows a little bit about having a drink, and writing a blog post.  Go check it out, and see if you are interested. 

Don’t forget about my coming trip to Shawnee State Park. Save some time to read all about it, and watch the blockbuster movie, made with my newest app, LumaFusion if I decide to spring for the twenty samoleons. It looks like an app I need to have. But, twenty bucks, I don’t know.  If you have a vote let me know in the comments.

Meet Our New Bracketologist,

We, here at Life Explained, have hired a new bracketologist. For the uninitiated bracketology is study of the structure of the NCAA basketball tournament, make wild, inaccurate predictions about the teams that will populate the places and, from this gooey, sloppy mess of guesswork, devine how far each team will travel along their designated path.

There are few jobs that require so little dedication to being correct and have so few repercussions for error. Maybe congress person, or television meteorologist, but nobody pays any attention to them. The bracketologist, however, is a revered, adored personality whose every word is weighed, recorded, acted upon.

Never more than in March. Printers across America and probably around the world, are whirring, spitting out Brackets. Duplicate sheets, by the dozen, as people try to predict who from the field of 68 will bring home the title.

Until this year this writer was the bracketologist in chief. But, since Nebraska got screwed by the inept, untrained, apprentice clowns on the selection committee and it was impossible to overcome the bitter resentment and boundless rage it seemed like it might be time to abdicate to a fresh new perspective.


In all fairness, it takes a lot of fun out of picking a team to win the championship and have them lose early in the tournament if it isn't a team you love.

Since our previous bracketologist (this writer) has set a new record in wrongness having picked the Cornhuskers to win the title when they are not even in the tournament, we feel he has reached the very mountain top of sports forecasting. It is now time for a fresh approach.

Ladies and gentlemen, children, pets, and visitors from other planets, dimensions, and time periods please say hello to Doctor Dawg, sports authority.

Perfect Call, Jim

There is a disturbing trend on televised college football games. More than just one, really, but for today we are going to ignore the win at all costs, including the millions paid to coaches, the gaudy excess of modern stadiums, the shameless, underhanded ways schools violate NCAA rules, the sickening pandering of the press and officials toward the elite among the sport, the ridiculous amount of time spent training children to win, no matter what. Oh, and don’t even get me started on the ridiculous way coaching contracts are written. These people are hired, paid millions, adored, praised, lavished with gifts to win games. And then when they don’t win enough games schools are forced to either fire them and pay the remainder of the contract or pretend they are there to promote education and citizenship and manufacture some artificial outrage to fire them for “lack of institutional control.”  When was the last time a guy coming off a championship season got the axe for “lack of institutional control.” Give me a break...

Well, we might not ignore them completely.

What I am here to talk about today is the instant replay official who shows up on the screen to discuss the calls being viewed by the instant replay official who is off screen and working hard to make the right call. 

What really bothers me is the way he agrees completely with whatever call was made. I understand the difficulties faced by officials, referees, umpires, trying to make the right decision in a violent, fast paced game. And I assume most times they get it right, and when they don’t they are only human, the reason they instituted the instant replay review.

Most times they probably get that right, and if they don’t, well they are only human. And, then they go to the official replay official and he always says “well, they sure got that one right.” And then he will explain why, and how, and what, and everybody will pat each other on the back. One more face on the television telling me how everything is working perfectly. According to plan. No mistakes. 

And we can all sleep easy. You can thank them later.

NCAA tournament, the First Four.

Yesterday we went to the First Four in Dayton. We just went to the first two today, which is really the first four divided by two. Two teams leave Dayton happy, two leave sad. Today we will go see the final First Four, or the second First Two, depending on how you want to say it. And the same mathematics of emotion will be in effect, happiness and misery.

The first game featured Mount Saint Mary’s, the Mountaineers, vs The University of New Orleans (the Privateers). It was, at first, hard to pick who I wanted to win. Until my wife picked the Mountaineers, based on school size. With only 2012 students they have a smaller enrollment than the high school where she works. And that was good enough for me. Turns out both of my sons were rooting for good old MSMU as well. Their views were based on the coach of the New Orleans looking eerily similar to the principal (the flail of North) of the high school they attended.
 
It was an exciting game between two different basketball philosophies. New Orleans wanted to run, and MSMU was much happier taking their time and shooting after passing the ball around for a while. The Mountaineers won by one point, in a nail biting finale.

 
What was really amazing was the amount of paperwork involved in a college basketball game. Before the game coaches (assistant coaches, not the head coach, he was much too busy for that) would go to the scorer’s table and fill out forms. It seemed as if they were buying a house, without the benefit of chairs, they had to kneel on the floor to fill out the forms. Clearly assistant coaching is a young man’s game.
 
During the time outs all of the coaches from New Orleans would meet on the court, exchanging sheets of paper, hand written bits of information, scribbled hurriedly during the game, who was playing well, who was not? Or who was in foul trouble, and who could hack merrily away? Maybe recipes, who knows. It was only the assistant coaches, though. Not the head coach, he was too busy waiting for the data to be combed, combined, compiled, and easily digested. As soon as he had consumed the information he would go over and yell at the players.
 
If you want the real show it was in the seats. People would just sit anywhere. Find an empty seat, crawl over people, and plop yourself down. Until the people with the tickets showed up and said “those are our seats.” The people sitting would take out their tickets, and look aghast at their innocent error.
 
“Oh, I see, we are way up there, how silly of us. We thought this was the top row of the arena.”
 
It must have happened a dozen times that I could see. And I was only in one small part of the arena.
 
On the court the action continued unabated as the mascots had a dance-off. An amazing feat, two people dressed in bulging, bulbous costumes at center court busting a move to pounding hip hop music. It had to be cooking inside those huge costumes. Well, not the Kansas State mascot who only has a head piece, which really put him on the outside looking in, when it came to the dance off results.
 
One of the most interesting parts of the evening happened with just a few minutes left in the MSMU vs. New Orleans game. One of the smaller players we will call him #5 passed the ball to one of the bigger players, let’s call him #25. Number 25 stepped out of bounds or something that caused the whistle to blow, and stop play. And he was furious, since it was a television timeout they had time to meet each other on the way to the huddle. Where #25 said something very menacing and angry to #5, he was close, right next to him. Number 5 pushed him away, saying something angry in return. Number 25 had had enough. First, the errant pass, then the angry rebuff from this player who was at least 6 inches shorter and 30 pounds lighter. He took matters into his own hands. He did this by wrapping both hands around the neck of #5. Coaches rushed in and broke it up, and number 25 sat for the rest of the game. And they lost by one point, and I felt bad for them. And, in many ways I felt sorry for number 25 whose anger cost him the last few minutes of a single elimination game.
 
And I definitely felt sorry for the young man from that team who came up and talked to family members just feet away from where we were sitting. He looked happy to see his family, but the weight of the narrow loss was apparent on his face.
 
In a way that is the wonder and tragedy of the tournament. Almost everybody loses, David and Goliath, Cinderella and the wicked step sisters (?). But, the work, the pain, the effort, the hours, and hours of practice, the money, huge piles of cash, all pointing to forty minutes of winner take all ecstasy or agony.
 
And if you are interested I thought the Wake Forest band was the best one of the night. They nailed a version of the theme from the Addams’s Family television show that was inspiring.
 
I will have another report tomorrow.

Eight and Two, making 'em happy, one session at a time

I would like to take a minute and bring a bit of cheer to America. The Nebraska Cornhuskers are 8 and 2.  Yes, I know I predicted an undefeated season, and a National Championship and we (the Nebraska Cornhuskers, and I) are going to fall a little short, but here is a news flash, next year I will predict the same thing.  And I predicted a woman president, and improved, usable mass transit in Columbus, and a Nobel Peace Prize for Dylan (not really, that took me by surprise) so I know predicting the future is tricky business. But, 8 and 2 makes me pretty happy.

Generally speaking happiness is a user definable term, and there are people whose teams are 9 and 1 after yesterday, and they are despondent. It is a relative thing. Yesterday was almost the extinction level event in the college football playoff rankings. To my college football fan brethren I offer you my support, and my affection.


I have decided to set up a sports psychology and therapy organization, free of charge. Kind of a grief counseling for those who have lost something dear, despite the fact they have lost nothing at all. Any true fan knows a teams loss resonates through a teams supporters for days. It is a wave effect, rippling through people who never played, many of us, (myself included) never had the talent to play college football, and almost all of us (myself particularly) have neither the knowledge nor the intestinal fortitude to coach. Can you imagine the tension they feel as they watch a close game slip away in the waning moments. I suppose the millions of dollars helps ameliorate the misery. (note to self, expand organization to add coaches, consider charging)

You see, I, like my brothers from Michigan, Clemson, Washington, and countless others through the years have watched a team loaded with talent, almost ordained by fate to be considered godly in its glory beaten by a bunch of cheating, underhanded, talentless hacks and their zebra striped minions.  How many times my team has had victory stolen by the a fame seeking, money dripping coach and his referee mafia. It makes me sick to this day.


Which is why I am offering this service to my friends, and fellow fans, whose blue and gold, or orange and blue, or purple and gold are teared stained, and torn, left in a miserable pile of broken dreams and chili cheese nacho stains.  Don’t despair, tomorrow will come, eventually, and the sun will shine again, someday. But, unless you come to Life Explained Loss Therapy it might take a while. Football, basketball fans welcome, the relief is real, and free, coaches, call me and we can discuss the fee.

The Year in review, part 1. I am really starting to enjoy these multipart posts

We are going to take a few days off from the endless story of a Christmas Tale, which turned into a battle of good vs. evil, the endless struggle of man, and supernatural beings, tackling the problems associated with rampant automation, employee apathy, and corporate corruption (how did this happen, anyway?). It is really a timeless tale, but, we need a little break. Plus, I am working on the next image on Bitstrips, which is a gas, and may revolutionize blogging.

Instead we are going to do a year in review. Life Explained, Ohio Office (OHHELLNO) looks back on 2015.

As far as anybody around here remembers 2015 started in January. But, it was a long time ago. We are searching for proof, but nobody can find a calendar, so we are not going to make any bold declarations. We think the year started in January.

Which, oddly enough, was when I started going to the gym, and it was filled with people. Lycra clad, colorful, groups of people who moved in unison, amoeba like, from area to area, talking and chatting, laughing, and having a good time.

Then came February, the cold, short month, where we celebrate Saint Valentines Day.* And the

crowd of people at the gym disappeared, and many days I was the only person in the place. It had become the Life Explained Memorial Gym.

March, Since I became a workout guy, I went to the Arnold Festival at the Columbus Convention Center. Plus, in one of the highlights of my life, we went to an NCAA tournament game. Oklahoma beat Dayton at Nationwide Arena. It was fantastic.

April, May, we think, were pretty uneventful. It seems something happened in there somewhere, but darned if we can remember what it was.


June, and we took a trip to the Black Hills, and that was cool.

July, August, September, where kind of a blur. November and December, it is hard to look at them in the past, so we are going to pretend they don't exist, kind of like evidence that disproves anything we believe.


* Who has negotiated a prominent part in the Christmas Tale gone awry. Depending on how you define prominent.

NCAA Championship, too bad there is not more than one.

Monday is the National Championship Game in college basketball.  Duke (the Blue Devils) will face Wisconsin (the Red Devils, just kidding, they are the Badgers, but a game between two teams called the Devils would be cool).  It should be a good game, pitting Duke's trio of Freshmen against Wisconsin's veteran squad of upperclassmen.  Two experienced coaches whose teams are fundamentally sound, disciplined, and talented.

Of course, if anybody had been paying attention, they would see neither of these teams were in my Final Four, let alone the championship game, so it would be OK with me if they both lost.

Wisconsin did beat Kentucky, and as a Louisville fan that makes me happy, so Wisconsin would be alright.  And, if Duke win, our friend stands to win some money in her office pool, so Duke would be cool, so Duke might be a good choice.

However, having been a North Carolina fan for so long it is difficult to wish anything but evil for Duke.  So, that is kind of a tough call.

Since I am a Nebraska fan, and Wisconsin beat them so soundly earlier this year, it is so hard to hope for any success for them.

Being a sports fan can be a difficult, trying, labor of decision, loss, and sacrifice.  When the tournament starts a team is chosen, and certain emotional investments are made.  It becomes a relationship, you and the team, struggling, battling other teams, corrupt, myopic, referees, and partisan announcers.

Most times the team you have chosen to win, the team you really like, does not win, and you have to choose a secondary team.  And, the cycle starts over, often that will lose.  It is a roller coaster, hope and joy, and potential followed by crushing, terrible, heart breaking sorrow, and defeat.

Laughter, tears, elation, pain, and soon there is nobody left on the initial "I could live with any of these teams winning" list.  You are forced to choose from the lesser of the evils, and sometimes the evils are almost equal.

Then, you are forced to choose between untenable choices, and when the game starts it becomes a painful, tense, torturous exercise in avoidance.  It is like watching your parents fight, if you hate both of your parents, and are secretly wishing they would rip each other to pieces, be arrested, and spend the rest of their miserable lives rotting in a gulag, shovels in hand.  Well, that might be stretching the metaphor.

So, I will watch the game with difficulty, and a troubled conscience on Monday night, and dream of both coaches digging salt in a Russian mine.  Not really, and I always wanted the fights between my parents to end amicably.  I will probably root for Duke, my friend always invites me to participate in her company's NCAA pool, and she is my friend that is some powerful magic.

College Football, Post Season, the Real Season.

Since football season is almost over it is time to examine the many changes that have set the world of college football.  There are momentous changes, and long lasting implication, it is a brave new world.  "If you do not change direction you may end up where you are heading."  Lao Tzu

This is the first year of the NCAA playoffs, with coaches, players and fans openly campaigning for their team.  It is a wonderfully shameless political campaign of trumpeting achievements and shouting the relative merits of a group of young athletes from the top of every mountain, and virtual, online soapbox.  It is nothing new, it has happened since the beginning of crowning a National Champion, (it is only more pronounced by the addition of a playoff) and it will last until the end of the sport.  Which, considering the recent collision with the courts and the NCAA's decision to allow the "power conferences" to make the monetary decisions regarding the benefits allocated to athletes will probably be much sooner than later.  It has been a good run, though.  So long, Mountain West, and MAC, we hardly knew ye.

But, all of this pales when compared to the conference expansion.  It started a while ago, maybe it was the Big Ten welcoming Penn State into the Old Boys network.  Officials from around the country watched, and waited.  What would be the fallout from an eleven team Big Ten Conference, not surprisingly, when the relative importance of the decision is considered, nobody really cared too much.

And the grab was on, conferences were grabbing teams in a Black Friday style dash for that glorious twelfth team that would allow for a conference championship game, almost a license to print money. A sponsored, endorsed, advertising intensive extravaganza of indulgence, and excess, a day long celebration of capitalism disguised as sports.  Executives and officials exchanging huge sums of cash.  Sports, they may not build character, but they will build fortunes, and fame, and several new campus facilities.   At least they would if universities weren't so busy throwing money at athletics.

This weekend was "Rivalry Weekend."  Kind of a self explanatory, but, it was a feast for advertisers, and fans alike.  Rivalries wax and wane with the fortunes of the participants, but can still be compelling television.

Yesterday, during one of the rivalry games, an ancient, august, game with a revered history, some brazen, fearless soul proposed to one of the cheerleaders, a beautiful young lady, with a dazzling smile.  And the entire romantic, private, touching moment was played out in the end zone, on televisions across the nation, and probably in armed forces bases around the world.  It was fantastic television, and automobile companies, brewers, and soft drink manufacturers are scrambling to find the next potential proposer to get their cut of the action.  Please contact a talent agent, and they can negotiate the terms of your proposal.  Everybody would profit.

Year End Performance Reviews, Winner Take All.

This year we, here at Life Explained, (#lifeexplained) have decided to forgo the normal Christmas (for those of you waging a war on Christmas*, Xmas) gifts, year end evaluations, promotions, bonuses, and raises.  Instead, taking a cue from the ultimate authority in fair play, the NCAA, and having a playoff with the biggest prizes to be awarded to the winners, though we are trying to avoid all of the corruption, greed and malfeasance associated with organized sports.  It won't be football, or basketball, probably, but it will be a competition, and people are warming up to the idea already.

Right now we are leaning toward professional wrestling, WWE style, looking into the price of a decent ring, with a cage that lowers, covering the area so contestants are forced to battle it out, with no chance of escape.  A cage would even the playing field for Mabel from accounting, as her oxygen tank, and walker would slow her down, and allow her opponent to flee with ease.  Go Mabel!

Of course, nobody really wants to see Bob, from R and D in wrestling shorts, the guy looks like he might be the missing link.  And nobody really wants to wrestle Bill from the legal department, he is such a whiner.  He had to get stitches for his last paper cut.  One good body slam would leave him in a coma, which might be ok, until he woke up.

On the plus side, people are starting to come up with some very creative ring names, like "Carl, the Crippler Custodian," and "Doctor Daryl the Destroyer," the RN, who stitched up Bill's papercut.  Daryl is so enamored with the idea she smashed a guy over the head with a folding chair.  He came in to see about something for his headache, she screamed, "I got your headache right here," and knocked him, butt over tea kettle into the hall, he had to be transported to the hospital.  (Hurry back boss, we all miss you.)

Mabel wins again.

Anyway, there is a lot on the line, and spirits are running high, Doctor Dawg started accepting bets on the outcome, making odds, and so far Mabel is doing well, 3 to 1 against.  And the addition of masks has helped, though when you are competing for promotion, or a raise I suppose anonymity is not an asset.  Well, tune in to the Life Explained network, bet a big fat wad of cash (don't worry, if you lose the Life Explained Tax Service will provide documents proving it was a charitable donation) and catch all of the action.  It will be intense, and you won't want to miss a second, except when you go grab a drink or a snack, you know, the important things in life.

* We here at Life Explained would like to take this opportunity to espouse our love of peace (A), and all things peaceful, we feel that war is bad, and have no desire to participate in wars of any kind.  We are pacifists by preference, and by profession.  Plus, we like Christmas, and wish it came more often.

Another Saturday Night, Another Chance to Dream.

As is normally the case, last Saturday we watched college football.  It was a nice day, so my son and I took off for a kick scooter ride, and we had a lot of fun, and took a few pictures, I only mention this so I can add this picture to the post.  I like this picture.

But, when we got home we started watching Minnesota play Michigan, at Ann Arbor. It was close at half time, Minnesota was ahead 10 to 7.  In the second half Minnesota started to dominate the game, and really looked like the better team.

It is always difficult to say whether one team is so much better than the other based on one game, and it is even harder to make that comparison from the results of one half.  But, it doesn't stop the announcers, in this case ESPN analyst Ed Cunningham, who said that Minnesota would have to be considered the odds on favorite in the Big Ten Western Division.

Based on this one half of dominant football he was willing to overlook Michigan State (I don't really remember what he felt their glaring weakness was), Wisconsin  (I am not sure why he felt they were so easy to ignore), and Nebraska, who, he said, "has their problems."  Excuse me, Mr Cunningham, but so far those weaknesses have been amply compensated for by their strengths, to the tune of 7.5 yards per play, and 6.9 yards per rush.  Sure, Nebraska's defense has been a little inconsistent, but anybody who has been paying attention has to say they are improving, and are vastly superior to last year at this time.

Of course, next weeks game at Michigan State (is it just my imagination or did Nebraska play at East Lansing last year?) will help clear up some of the picture, and Minnesota is certainly a good football team, but it is a little early make such bold predictions.

On an unrelated note, we watched most of the Air Force game.  They were playing Boise State, and I was rooting for Air Force.  I like the service academies, possibly because they run the option so much, and so well.  The Falcons were looking very good, really dominating the Broncos.  ESPN analyst Aaron Taylor was pretty certain it was going to be short lived.  With every Air Force miscue he would comment on how it might be just what Boise State needed to mount their inevitable comeback.  It never happened.  But, he did comment on one of the receivers, and how he "used to be a former quarterback."  It might be suggested, possibly, that he is still a former quarterback, and at some point will also be a former receiver.

Analysts are a funny group of people, it would be so hard to make such bold statements so often and wipe them from memory so quickly.  In fairness, though, if you had to fill up so much time with unscripted dialog it would be easy to misspeak occasionally.  I salute the sports announcers around the world, theirs is not an easy lot, and they are only trying to make a living.

Again, the Cornhuskers tromped up and down the field, smashing their way through an Illinois team that would have loved to ruin homecoming.  Ameer Abdullah proved he is a strong contender for the Heisman Trophy, and any other award that could possibly go to such a fantastic football player, who also seems to be such a wonderful human being.  I remember an interview last spring, when Ameer Abdullah claimed to have "more bounce than Benny."  What he forgot to mention was he also had more power than Hercules, more speed than Hermes, and more personality than anybody deserves.

I am starting to fall into that old trap, dreaming of an undefeated season, championships, and glory, and you know, it is great.  No matter what happens though, this team is a lot of fun to watch.  And, I thank them for pleasure, and the dreams.

Football Analysts should remember the wisdom of Bob Dylan who said,

"Well, the moral of this story,
The Moral of this song,
Is simply, one should never be,
Where one does not belong,
So, when you see your neighbor carrying somethin',
Help him with his load,
And, don't go mistakin' Paradise,
For that house across the road."

One for the Ages.

It wasn't fancy and it wasn't pretty, and it didn't carry the significance of some of the meetings in the past.  But, if you think it wasn't important to these two teams you probably did not watch the game.

From the first play it was obvious that, even though the players on the field had not taken part in the gladiatorial contests of the pasts they knew these were schools with a shared history.  An unpleasant, fierce, competitive background.  And, they were willing to carry that standard into the present, and make sure it lived to see tomorrow.

In the end Nebraska won this game.  Using a brutal ground assault, smashing and crushing, and pounding.  Huskers along the offensive must have majored in history, they were surging forward, opening holes, and invoking memories of past glories.  This was a ferocious game, against a determined, talented defense, and this group of huge, powerful, relentless young men won it with their play.

Downfield, Kenny Bell (who has repeatedly shown he is a weapon catching a pass) and the entire Nebraska receiving corps proved that not only can they average over 16 yards a catch, but they can keep their teammates moving forward by throwing blocks that would make a pulling guard smile with pride.

But, it was the play of the two headed, four legged football monster of Tommy Armstrong Jr. and Ameer Abdullah that roared the loudest.  Two flashes of brilliance whose total is more than the sum or even the product of the individual parts.  Tommy Armstrong is a gunslinger, cool, inscrutable, fearless, he is in control, and he is a treasure, in red.  Ameer Abdullah is Shiva, though, he is a five foot nine inch, 190 pound destroyer, the shatterer of worlds.

Watching Abdullah driving through opponents, outrunning, overpowering, brings back so many memories of Nebraska I backs, a dream sequence in a red jersey, a flashback to glorious days of indecent rushing totals, and scores.  If there is a club for great Nebraska running backs there is a special seat reserved for number 8.

No, in the end it wasn't pretty, but to a guy who remembers the past so fondly, it was beautiful.  Thank you, Tim Beck, thank you Tommy Armstrong, and Ameer Abdullah, thank you Nebraska Cornhuskers.

As Bob Dylan said, with such haunting beauty,

"Twas in another lifetime, one of toil and blood,

When blackness was a virtue, and the road was full of mud,

I came in from the wilderness, a creature void of form,

'Come in' she said 'I'll give you shelter from the storm.'"

Just a fool for a pretty face.

That was pretty impressive.  Of course, it was only the first game, and it was only Florida Atlantic.  Of course, the first several minutes dredged up some old memories, and  scraped open some old wounds, but even when it looked as if it might be a lot more exciting game than many Husker fans wanted there was an offensive spectacle that was chewing up yardage, and shredding the defense.

Something odd happened about eight minutes into the game.  The defense started playing with passion, anger, and a smothering, attacking attitude.  It was a ferocious, terrifying horror movie performance, and the memories began to come from a different time.  A time when season openers were a fashion show, where players who rarely saw the field after September would parade onto the field in the second half to play a game they loved in front of stadium filled with people who loved them.

Sometime in the second half today, the quarterback leading the offense down the field to score was from Grand Island, and the crowd went wild.  It was one part of a 784 yard, 55 to 7 thrashing.  And the crowd went wild.  Ameer Abdullah ran around, over and through the defense crashing and bruising and burning for 232 yards on 21 attempts, and the crowd went mad with delight.

It was a day filled with magic, as proven by the extraordinary catch made by Jordan Westerkamp. Who, in the merest fraction of a second before stepping, out of bounds caught a tipped behind his back.  It was an amazing catch, almost supernatural, and the crowd went insane with joy.

It is only the first game and there are all sorts of things that can go wrong, and it is foolish to get too excited about a team that has only won a single game.  Today, though, it was easy to find a lot to be excited about, a lot to be impressed with, and a lot of things that could make a person dream big dreams.  So, forgive me my enthusiasm, and allow me to say Go Big Red.

In the somewhat vaugue, beautiful words of Bob Dylan.

"It's unbelievable, it's fancy free,
So interchangeable, so delightful to see,
Turn your back, wash your hands,
There's always someone who understands
It don't matter no more what you got to say,
It's unbelievable it could go down this way."

One Last Time, Probably.

I am not a rabid sports fan, for a wide variety of reasons.  It is not dreamy idealism, not a stand against the corruption that may be rampant.  Nor is it a vengeful stand against the dangers inherent in competition, though both have merit.  It is just a view based on experience, and hey it is my blog, after all.

I can make it all the way through baseball season without ever thinking about standings, pennant races, public scratching, or spitting.  I find the average baseball game lasts too long, and most of that time has little real drama, or action.  Sometimes I like to watch a baseball game on television, just to listen to the announcers fill the time between pitches with a constant stream of statistical trivia, the colorful memories of past performances, and the hopes for potential greatness.  In many ways, to me, it has to be one of the most difficult jobs in sports broadcasting.  Being the play by play announcer for a baseball game requires more research than a law degree, and more flexible, associative reasoning than quantum physics.  It is almost like a machine, a perpetual motion construct, taking long minutes of routine and trying to make it sound noteworthy.  But, I am not even sure who won the World Series last year, and don't really care.

I used to like professional basketball, but at some point I came to the realization that they are not promoting a game, as much as a series of players.  They always need a larger than life personality, someone who can sell jerseys, shoes, cell phones, posters, and he needs to have the unique ability to polarize people.  It seems to be a lot more about the players, and less about the competition.  This is not really a criticism, they have a right to make the league as popular and profitable as it can possibly be, in fact that is their prime responsibility.  But, it does not interest me.

And the NFL has always seemed too corporate, and packaged to be a sport.  Microsoft vs Apple vs Google, and occasionally Samsung or Hewitt Packard will come through and grab that last wild card spot.  Or Coke vs Pepsi.  But, it is really hard for me to care, I find presidential debates more compelling.  The smart money is on Coke and Apple, by the way, at least my money.  Considering how well I did in every bracket I filled out this year my money, and the person carrying it, may not be all that bright.

So, I have to squeeze every last ounce of enjoyment possible (and another blog post or two) out of the Final Four, which will be a little difficult since all of the teams I really like are watching it, too.  Which, I guess, is kind of cool, I will be watching the Final Four with Tim Miles, and Rick Pitino, and Bill Self, and their teams, I better get some more chips, and drinks, and better chips, and drinks.

But, it is time to start looking forward to next season, (college football, and basketball), when once again my teams will provide fresh hope and dreams, and all will be new, and wonderful.  Of course, the new conference alignments are going to provide some intrigue.  The Big Ten is adding some new teams, and realigning the divisions, and I don't really have a handle on all of that.  So, I will have to learn to say Go Big Ten Western Division, (or whatever they call it), I hope the Cornhuskers win all of the games against all of the opponents, whoever they are.  I will elaborate on that as soon as I can figure it out.

And Louisville, which left the Big East after last season is leaving the American Athletic Conference after this season, and joining the Atlantic Coast Conference, and that will make for interesting matchups, where they will meet, once again, the Syracuse Orange, and some other teams from that left the Big East, but that bit of knowledge escapes me for the moment.  And, I need to apologize, in advance, to Christy Barongan who writes a very powerful and compelling blog http://normalintraining.blogspot.com/ (a blog I read faithfully, it is well written, insightful, and enlightening, you should check it out) and is a Virginia Cavalier fan.  So, please accept my apologies, and go Cards.

I intend to write one more post predicting the winner of Monday nights Championship game, but am so busy it will probably have to wait until Tuesday.

Pick your winners?

We are halfway through the Elite Eight and have almost arrived at the Final Four.   In essence, we are at the So Close Six.  With five games left to play, I am no longer in the running for the Warren Buffett / Quicken Loans Billion Dollar Dream.  I have no chance to win any of the pools I entered, all of the teams I really like are eliminated, and I am left to choose the least distasteful from the teams remaining.  Kind of like almost every year.

But, there is no sadness, or self pity around here.  If loss is uncomfortable, you should probably find a different choice of viewing pleasure, because as Danny O'Keefe sang so hauntingly and so appropriately so long ago, "sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, good time Charlie's got the blues."  So, I will watch the games today, make my choice in the Final Four and post it here, tomorrow.

You might wonder why I do this, you might ask "Tim, why do we care who you pick?"  A very good question.  It is a public service, and I like to give you plenty of time to make wagers against the team I choose, because no matter how good they are, they have no chance.   I am like the Sports Illustrated jinx, magnified, bulked up, and packing heat.

At this point, I should apologize to a person who writes a very enlightening, insightful blog, and happens to be a Virginia Cavaliers fan, and I dragged them into the abyss, with the Huskers and the Cardinals, and the Jayhawks, and... and I am sorry.

On a plus note, I have found a way to win without cheating, technically, at Words With Friends.

Pumpkin Face added to protect the Innocent.

Life Explained Explains Time

Time is the most perplexing thing.  Allegedly, it is a constant, never changing, marching forward, seconds passing in a monotonous parade of consistency.  Disputing this is difficult, because the devices made to measure time deal in absolutes, precise machines designed to record one unit giving way to the next.  While in reality there are many variables involved in the passage of time.

A dentist office slows time to a crawl.  Forty five minutes in a dentists chair lasts almost a life time, in fact a root canal procedure takes almost as much time as it took to build the pyramids.  Dentists should use a calendar to time procedures.  

A day at work, even if you love your job, is a lengthy proposition, dragging on, passing minutes hammering away at your will to live.  But, a weekend is over almost before it begins.  As soon as the final bell tolls on Friday sending you home, whistling all the way, you have to hit the snooze button.

But, it does not end there.  Assuming, for example your work day is divided between tasks, some of which are more enjoyable, some less, and most work days are cut along these lines, then part of your day will go painfully, slowly ants marching inexorably back to the nest, other parts will drag almost to a stop, tar covered turtles carrying bricks up the side of a mountain.

The same is true of the weekend.  For example, tonight Louisville plays Kentucky in the Round of Sixteen (the Sweet Sixteen) in the NCAA basketball tournament, one of the biggest sports rivalries in existence extending into the post season.  This is a huge game, and the winner will move to the next round (the Elite Eight), and they will get there by defeating their hated in state rival, and the loser will go home, to stew in inconsolable misery, and doubt themselves, and everything they have ever believed (sorry about your luck, Kentucky).  This is the biggest, most venomous rivalry since the Aliens and the Predators squared off in Alaska, thanks to those pesky kids...  (oops sorry about the sports rant, and the Scooby Doo reference).

Anyway, that game will be so intense and enjoyable it will be over before you can finish your bowl of chips, but installing that new heating element in the oven will take about 15 minutes that will last about two and a half hours. 

All we are asking is equity.  Unpleasantness is part of life, but it should be compensated for, if you have to carry out difficult work that seems to last all day you should be allowed to leave when it is finished.  If part of your weekend is so pleasant, and entertaining that it shrinks hours into minutes, you should get a little extra weekend, right off the top, on Monday morning, preferably.  

When man first devised the method to track time, things were brutish, life was short and times were difficult.  Keeping track of how long it took was just a way to avoid thinking about how awful things were.  Now we are more sophisticated, we have taken so many steps to improve life.  It is time to "improve life."

With that in mind we are starting the "Life Explained Equitable Passage of Time" movement.  Please sign below to help us push this through.  We suggest you not use your real name, in case the time police decides to squash our puny little revolution, they are everywhere, you know?  In fact, you might want to use an important, intelligent sounding name, we suggest Einstein, or Aristotle, something people will notice.  "Well, if da Vinci thinks it is a good idea, so do I."

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Strange, isn't it?

Last night I had the strangest dream, wonderful, but odd.  I dreamed that the Nebraska Cornhuskers beat the Wisconsin Badgers in basketball.  Weird, right?  What makes it even more unbelievable is the part of the dream where the Badgers were on eight game winning streak, including wins over ranked Iowa, and Michigan teams.  And it happened on the same day the Cornhusker Women's team beat Iowa to win the Big Ten tournament.

Here is where it gets really strange.  By winning the game Nebraska played it's way to a first round bye in the Big Ten tournament, and many people feel that the team earned an at large bid for the NCAA tournament.

Every Husker Fan Loves Terran Petteway!  Thank you Cornhuskers Men's
Basketball Facebook Page, and Thank You, Terranasaurus!

And, if that were not crazy enough, the Cornhuskers, in this amazing dream, had the leading scorer in the Big Ten, and he was only a sophomore.  Surrounding this marvelous, magical sophomore was a whole team of outlandishly talented, victory hungry, underclassmen, with more sitting on the bench.  And, they had a coach who was enthusiastic, energetic, and won everywhere.  Taking teams (like Nebraska) and turning them into winners, time after time, and he was coaching Nebraska now!!!

Man, I hated to wake up this morning.  Well, off to get some coffee, and tell my wife about this wonderful dream.

NEWS FLASH!  This just in!  Our fact checker (my wife, who is pretty smart, smart enough to know how fragile I am when discussing college basketball in March) just informed me this was no dream, but all of this really happened.

Thank you Cornhuskers Men's Basketball
Facebook Page, and Thank you  CBS And
Thank you Walter Pitchford.

Thank you Cornhuskers Men's Basketball
Facebook Page, and Thank you  CBS And
Thank you Shavon Sheilds

I know there are a lot of people who deserve a lot of credit for this dream season, but hey I was lucky to get these photos on here.  Blogger does not make that easy, you know. So, thank you all, and keep your eyes on this blog, you just might see your picture.

A funny thing happened on the way to spring training.

Growing up in Nebraska provides an incentive to become a college football fan.  The Cornhuskers are normally pretty good, and win enough to keep most people happy.  It provides a certain herd like solidarity, and makes for good conversation.  However, at some point, the details are foggy with the passing time, college basketball became my favorite sport.

Basketball games are frenetic, passionate, fluid affairs.  They are an art form unique to sports were height and strength are rewarded, but so are quickness, speed and elusiveness.  Each game is a drama, complete with heroes (your team), villains (the other team) and corrupt, indifferent administrators (the referees).  That was just a joke, the referees do a fine job, when my team wins.  Each season is a chase to end, teams trying to win enough games to get a good spot in the conference tournament, and a chance to play for the National Championship in the NCAA tourney.

The NCAA tournament is a season of it's own.  A single elimination meat grinder that chews up dreams and leaves them on basketball courts in places like Dayton, Lexington, Palo Alto, or Syracuse.  Out of 68 one will go home champions and the rest will take their place in the shadows.  It is the pinnacle of sports entertainment, it is my fantastic.

But, as a Nebraska fan it was more a show of support to watch a game, maybe a little punishment that you took with a good natured smile as you thought "well, at least we were only down by eight at halftime."  Even though we got trounced.  But, they were Huskers, so you loved them.

Then something strange happened, Nebraska hired this guy to coach the team.  He was exuberant, and charming, and he had such a youthful appearance and enthusiasm that it seemed like they may have picked the biggest smile from the student section and made him the coach.  But, there was something about him, something promising, it came through during interviews, and in the way he carried himself.  Even my wife said he was going to do good things.

Last year, Coach Miles had a rough year, his players were mostly recruits from the previous staff, and he did well, and never lost his composure.  His exuberance was contagious, and his charm was undeniable, and he looked like he enjoyed what he was doing, and he seemed to love the players.  He always seemed to say the right thing, in a way that made you like him more.

This year, his teams started winning, beating teams named Indiana, Ohio State, even Michigan State, in East Lansing, and when they play it is with a manic, wonderful joy, that is fun to watch, because it looks like they are having fun on the court.  They jump into passing lanes, and back again with a quickness that is alarming, they shoot, and rebound, and move, and win.  And, through the winning Coach Miles is as pleasant and charming.

He has recruits who are winning now, and there are some, waiting on the bench, and will be on the court next year, and his team is only going to get better.  Tonight Penn State comes to Lincoln and I will be watching on the Big Ten Network, and Nebraska will try to avenge a loss from earlier this year.  My advice to all right minded people out there, start watching, and cheering, and enjoying the show, order your Nebrasketball shirts, and hats, it is going to get better.  Bob Dylan said it best.

"Come along with me, babe, I wish you would,
You know what I'm saying, it's all good."

Dylan wouldn't lie.

Thank you, Coach Miles, it is nice to be able to say Go Big Red in February.