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Monday, December 19, 2016

Traffic is a Little Heavy/

Traffic this morning was awful.  They closed part of the freeway downtown.  It was an important connector between the I-670 feeder from the North East corner, including the airport, to I-71 South, a very important route that runs all the way from Cleveland to Louisville.  Probably not that important, unless you are going to Cleveland or Louisville. Please see map at right.

It was an inconvenience, more than a disruption for us, since we were not going that way, anyway.  We drive past that exit, and take the next one, to bring us to the lovely warehouse district.  Please see map below.

It was a bit of a surprise.  They were talking about it on the morning news, but since that was I-71 was not on the itinerary there was no need to pay attention.  It seemed like nothing that should worry us.

It turns out that Abbot Nutrition, in partnership with Wendy's (a fast food conglomerate headquartered in Central Ohio) and the Ohio State University (a local athletic club using "academics" and "research" to generate ticket sales) were creating a line of freakishly large chickens.  Chickens that large would provide a lot of food, at a substantially reduced price.

One chicken could provide ample nutrition for the largest store in the chain.  Breading, ground from South Dakota wheat, was on the rail and headed toward the local coating, and seasoning facility, right off the railroad tracks, not too far from Kroger Bakery, and Jennsen's Plumbing Supply.

Chickens, it should be known, are prone to wander, and often act in erratic, irresponsible ways.  There is a chicken rancher in our organization, that will attest to the fact that they can be troublesome, and difficult to corral.  And anybody who has spent much time around chickens will tell you how mean they can be.  Trust us, we know.

Here is another little know fact. Giant chickens wandering across the freeway can cause a lot of accidents. People don't know how to react to giant poultry. So they run into each other. And then scream. All of which slows traffic to a crawl. It will take days to clean up the mess.

There is some good news, though. Nobody on the Ohio State football team was injured, and the price of Wendy's chicken and ranch sandwiches has been reduced by 7¢. The taste has the slightest hint of asphalt and diesel fumes. A small price to pay for the advancing mankind.