How to make it past today, a primer

Life is an odd collection of things. Memories, dreams, anticipation, hopes, wishes, all swirling together to make the present bearable. There is a line from an old Sensational Alex Harvey Band “I only wish that I could see yesterday, the same way that I can see tomorrow.”* I’m not really sure what he meant, but I love that line. I know what it means to me. The past, our own personal history report, the book we have written, are writing, contains a lot of squandered opportunities, near misses, close but no cigar moments, and the future is filled with dreams, potential, a gold mine of possibilities. The past is flawed, tainted, uncomfortable, the future holds the promise of perfection. 

Of course, the present, which is always here, never leaves, follows us doggedly through life, is a perilous place. One false step and your future is sunk. Here is where the past shows it trues colors, its malignant, spiteful spirit. In the uncanny, haunting words of Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, “Pray hard, but to pray with care, because the tears you are crying now are just your answered prayers.”** And even though I am not crying those words still send up a warning signal.  Everything we do today affects tomorrow. We have no way of knowing how. It is a mystery, it could be awful or it could be wonderful, but my advice is don’t get your hopes up.

So, I live in the present, trying to make the most of the minutes I have. Right now, for example, I am sitting on my deck, the sun is sinking into the horizon, the temperature is a fantastic seventy six degrees, and the hummingbirds are stopping by for a quick bite. And life seems seems pretty good. It is almost too good to be true.

I never think too much about the past, I have some wonderful memories that bring me comfort, make me smile. Plus, I have made my share, maybe more than my share, of mistakes. But, there is nothing I can do about those. I have the scars and lingering regret to remind me, to steer me toward better choices. Which is the best I can do.

But, the future, that is where the magic lives. That is the place I think about, that is the promised land. In five weeks, my lovely wife and I are waking early and going to Swapper’s Day in Johnstown. An odd collection of collectibles, antiques, knives, guns, bows and arrows and junk. It is something I look forward to every year. It is not a social event and most people would go once and think it was good enough, but it is something I love. The crowds, the variety, the unbelievable crushing weight of humanity. The incredible assortment of stuff for sale, though I hardly ever buy anything. For $5.00 each we get hours of entertainment, and a chance to look into another world. A small town world, deeply patriotic, profoundly religious, it is almost a scene from the past, the world I came from. It is part of my history, the world I knew, so I find some comfort in the rural feel and imagery, 

Five weeks after that we are off to Yellow Springs Street Fair, one of the best things to happen in Ohio. A one day fair with enough strangeness to make even the most jaded cynic smile. In the span of three blocks you will find the blues being played on a cigar box guitar, smooth jazz played on a tenor sax, and eighties rock being played by a guy wearing a horse head mask. The narrow, short streets are filled with vendors selling everything from handmade soap to tie dyed tshirts and dresses, incense to fresh produce, food vendors selling street tacos, grilled chicken, and fried everything. Yellow Springs is a unique town, home to a liberal arts college, filled with small, diverse shops, and Street Fair is the crown jewel. Everything you want to know about Yellow Springs is common knowledge at Street Fair.

To make Street Fair even better we are taking Friday off and spending the weekend at Buck Creek State Park. We have a small cabin reserved for Friday and Saturday night. Ohio does state parks very well, the cabins are comfortable, and far enough apart that you feel secluded. The lakes are perfect for kayaking, in most cases the lakes are so small othey don’t even allow boats with gas engines. It will be my wife, me, our kayaks, maybe a bottle of wine and some steaks for the grill. It is a scene from my future, the time we can escape when we want, and just enjoy our time together.

If you are willing to use your imagination the future is a wonderland. A place where magic fuses with potential in a kaleidoscope of enchanted imagery. We are forced by reality to live in the present, and there is nothing wrong with that, but it is too real and humans are creatures who need more, something to light the way through the dreary toil of daily existence. You don’t have to believe in magic, but you should believe that living the best you can today will make tomorrow a better place. And that is all I’m trying to say, so let’s close with one more lyrical quote, Bruce Springsteen, Better Days

“Every fool’s got reason for feeling sorry for himself

And turning his heart to stone,

Tonight this fools halfway to heaven and just a mile out of hell,

And I feel like I’m coming home.”

I’m not sure that is a completely appropriate passage, but I’m open to suggestions if you have something better.

There you go, the past, the present and the future, all in one post with musical references, and a love song by the Grateful Dead, a pretty good way to say goodbye to the weekend.

* Give My Compliments to the Chef

** Oh My Lord

Extremes and Humanity, It Never Changes.

"Not one of them has the least thing to blame himself for. Not one has any guilt. One might believe that everything was for the best, even though a few million men lie under the ground. ...and the end and aim of it all is to have the war over again, the next war that draws nearer and nearer, and it will be a good deal more horrible than the last. All that is perfectly clear and simple. Any one could comprehend it and reach the same conclusion after a moment's reflection. But nobody wants to. Nobody wants to avoid the next war, nobody wants to spare himself and his children the next holocaust if this be the cost. To reflect for one moment, to examine himself for a while and ask what share he has in the world's confusion and wickedness—look you, nobody wants to do that. And so there's no stopping it, and the next war is being pushed on with enthusiasm by thousands upon thousands day by day."

From ; Steppenwolf, by Herman Hesse

It Gets Worse

The quote above was from a passage where Harry Haller was explaining to the lovely and mysterious Hermine why he was so universally despised. Since the novel was published in 1927 it is safe to assume he was making a reference to World War I and World War II. And he was certainly accurate. It was much worse, for everybody.

Hesse was an intellectual with a keen grasp of human frailty, and the undeniable thirst for the absolute. And certainly, being a European he understood the way wars could grow beyond any relation to the origin.

It Always Gets Worse

Take, for example, the Thirty Year War. Brought to you by competing faiths. Catholics and Protestants who were intent on destroying each other, or at least claiming victory and thereby proving
that God, did, indeed like them best.  But, when it was done churning over the nation of Germany at least 20 percent of the population had perished. Civilian casualties would not be matched until World War II. Unspeakable atrocities had been common. It was an awful chapter in the history of man.

But, it was a long time ago, we have learned so much.

What happens if we change the labels. Let's start with a classic, something older, less fashionable, but still relevant, Capitalist and Socialist. If you are in the mood for something more current and in vogue you can choose Christian and Muslim. Patterns expose themselves, nothing ever changes. We pretend that it is new, and important, but it is only the same movie with new actors. To quote Bob Dylan, "The game is the same, it's just on a different level."

Imagine what Harry Haller would say about this. Maybe his words are just as good today.

And A Quote To End

Today we are going to close with something from Albert Einstein.
“I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.”

#MakeAmericaDeadAgain.

It is Fun To Workout.

I decided to start exercising. Getting older, heavier, more liable to suffer the effects of health related illness, or injury made it seem a wise choice. The only choice. Aging is difficult, aches, pains, constant worry and concern. It is impossible to escape the gripping fear of doctors, tests, and the terrible results waiting after every blood draw, x-ray, or scan.

“My knee hurts. Has for weeks.” I will tell my wife.

“You should go see the doctor.” She will reply. No thanks, who needs that kind of pressure. Who knows what he will dig up, what he will find, if he goes looking deep enough. And he will dig, and probe, and ask until he backs me into a corner from which there is no escape, no hope of rescue. I will be forced to confess, rat myself out just to avoid any more accusations.

“I did it, Doc, I didn’t take my medicine, and I have been drinking soda pop, and eating potato chips. I’m guilty.” That’s when it gets bad.

So, it seemed much smarter to just get in shape, cut down on the doctor visits, and take better care of myself. So, I joined a gym. The YMCA. I know, it’s not a real gym, it’s not where real fitness guys go, it is workout lite. But, we got a discount, since my wife works at a school, and since I have never been to a gym before and had no real plan and assumed that my zeal for fitness would not last long, it made sense.

I am still going, every other day. And I love it.

At first it was very difficult, I didn’t know what to do, or how to do it. And I was sure it was only a matter of time until someone said “hey, you’re not a workout person, you don’t know how to use this stuff, beat it. Come back when you don’t look so ridiculous.”

It was more like guerilla exercise, sneak in, work out, run out the door, don’t make eye contact, try to blend in. Get in, get out. Too bad I couldn’t go in the middle of the night. “Who owns the night?” I do, kind of, if no one else is there.

After a couple of weeks I noticed that I didn’t have to rely on subterfuge, camouflage. Nobody cared I was there, nobody even noticed. Everybody was just exercising, and not paying attention to anybody else.

And you know what, there were all sorts of people. Young, firm, fit people. So athletic, doing exercises the seem impossible, lifting enormous weights, Atlas like weights, bouncing jumping, twisting, contorting in ways that make me hurt just watching. Old people who limped in, carried themselves all the way to the treadmill in the back. Hooking their cane on the rail, resolutely piling up the steps. You wonder why they put them so far from the entrance. And all the types in between my category, the type in-between. I realized this was the perfect gym for me.

There are groups, mostly older people, who come, hang out together, drink coffee, work out a little, and talk. They seem very close, a special bond of friendship. Forged in carrying Styrofoam cups, conversation, and occasional forays into the world of exercise.

There are groups of younger guys. Serious about lifting. Staying mostly at the free weights, encouraging each other, in manly, macho ways. “One more, One more, C’mon!” Their dedication shows, they are big, muscular, and lift insane barbells loaded with huge plates. They spend a lot of time adding and subtracting weights, preparing for the next assault. It almost seems a symbiotic relationship, lifter, and weights in harmony, forever.

Groups of women gathering at the door, chatting excitedly, waiting for the current class to end. They work in unison, to music, and at the direction of a leader with headset microphone. A leader who, from the safety of the open exercise room, can sound sound dictatorial, harsh, unforgiving. “Up, reach, higher, higher than that.” You almost expect the instructor to start swearing, Iron Mike Ditka teaching Jazzercise, “Move it, you worthless **#$%%++!”

I made my long suffering wife start going, so I would have a workout buddy. Poor girl, but she is starting to enjoy herself, or has accepted her responsibility anyway, and pretends. So, she goes. And since she is so charming, and outgoing a lot of people know her, and talk to her, which makes it look like I have a lot of friends. Nobody knows they are just waving and smiling at my wife. Man, do I look popular, as long as she is there.

My wife does not stay for the cardio portion of the work out. I don’t know why, and have never asked, not a good idea to mess with your workout “gang.” I plug in my headphones, select a machine and rock and roll my way to better health (sometimes I listen to audio books, thanks to the Columbus Metropolitan Library), and occasionally it will be a podcast, but mostly it is music. It is so easy to get lost in a song.

And here is another great thing about working out at the YMCA. I rock and roll. Tapping the handles in time to the music, I probably sing along. Jerry Garcia and me crooning;

“This heart of mine, could never see

What everybody knew but me
Just trusting you was my great sin
What can I do, you win again”



Man Hank Williams understood pain, torment, and the Grateful Dead could turn it into a long, sad, melodic anthem that will push you through the most painful “rolling hills” selection on the elliptical machine. And nobody cares that I am singing and tears are streaming down my face. Occasionally someone will come along and say, “don’t worry, everything will be ok.” Invariably, they will offer to buy me a beer.

You have to love the Y.

Life Explained Explains Life.

There are moments in life where time changes. It is not fluid. Time speeds up, and slows down. Sometimes there are so many things happening at once that time seems to collapse. Great painful heaps of tasks and chores. So many things to do that nothing happens, and time coils around you threatening to squeeze the life out of your tired, tear stained body.

Summer is like that. Heat takes a toll, and leaves you gasping for breath. The lawn needs mowed but it is almost like walking on the surface of the sun. Flowers are turning to dust right before your eyes, the sadness is unbearable.

Autumn comes and brings sweet relief, a chance to pause and take stock, but the rain gutters need cleaned, so don't take too long. Make sure you know where the snow shovel is, it will soon be needed. Dethatch, and aerate the lawn, put on the last treatment, and if you have enough energy maybe even "overseed."

But, we here at Life Explained, have always felt that life is a loose reflection of reality. Not a direct copy. More of a close facsimile. It is almost there, you can almost see it, then it is gone. So, don't worry too much about the problems, they may not even exist. It might be a myth, a story, like the bogeyman to make adults behave in a productive, profitable manner.

When you are running late to work, and dribble maple syrup on your shirt, and there is an accident on the freeway, two exits before yours, and traffic is backed up for miles, and there is no hope of getting to work before all of the bagels are eaten, don't sweat it. Just put on some Dylan, or event better one of those long Dead Songs from Europe 72, tap your steering wheel keeping time to the music and smile.

We are fairly certain that life is not as harried, and stressful as people would lead you to believe. In fact, we went and made coffee between this sentence and the last. Just walked away, carefree. Sure, this post is not going to write itself, and there is other things that need attention, but coffee called, and we answered.

We just returned from getting a cup of coffee, and no problems. And it is even better for the small act of rebellion, How many things are we worried about that are just not that troublesome? We don't know, but we intend to find out.

Join us, in the Life Explained Revolution. A movement to find the truth, to find reality. . Right now, get up, walk over and get a cup of coffee, stop and chat up a co-worker, and let us know what happened. We bet it was nothing bad. If you are in the middle of surgery, please ignore this advice, even if you are the patient.

Friday, Do I Need To Say Anything More?

Today is a joyous day, and I am singing the praises of Friday to the heavens. For one thing it is Friday, and that is hard to beat. This morning the coffee is so good it is almost unbelievable.

Recently my gym closed to move and expand. It was part of the local YMCA. It was small, and lightly equipped, but it was free. It was a benefit of being of my wife's job, and I was pretty happy there.

Since they moved, and expanded spouses are no longer allowed to use it for free, so I had to join the YMCA. Last night we went over and joined. It is huge, filled with weights, and machines and all of those devices that show up so frequently in the Health Whacko. It used to make me think, I need to join a better gym, (when I wasn't seething with envy) now I have. Plus I get three free sessions with a personal trainer. Pictures will come later.

Also, I have a smart watch. Well, it is not really smart, but it tells me the time, month, day and date, and it has a few functions that defy explanation, So, it might be smarter than me. Plus, it is attractive, functional and durable, so that makes it pretty smart for a guy who is hard on watches. Moreover, it is very complimentary, and that is a better than email, or text messages.


And, if that weren't enough, on my way to work this morning, I got stuck in the slow lane. It was rainy, and all the lanes were slow, so it was expected. But, my phone sensed the tension in the car, and played a lot of very appropriate songs.







Here is one of the choices.

To recap, a new gym, hot coffee, a very polite watch, and good music. Fridays are a great way to start the weekend.