A Day Out, Kind Of.

It started with few challenges. First, we had to find a parking spot at our favorite breakfast place. And, then finding out the wait was so long we didn't want to wait, the twenty five minutes to get a seat. 

Then we had to climb back in the car and wait for the person who was trying to park next to us to maneuver and coerce her Tahoe into the spot next to us. I sometimes wonder if the person who designs parking lots around this city drives a subcompact, maybe a Smart Car, or a Mini Cooper, without ever taking into account that this corner of the city is the land of mini-vans, Tahoes, Suburbans, Excursions, big cars, that take big parking spaces, and big aisles to swing all that size into them. Obviously, that was kind of an inauspicious start. 

 
After that it got a better. Our drive to Jeffersonville was really smooth. That stretch of freeway can be so hectic, crowded and aggravating that it was a very pleasant surprise. We cruised pretty much at an officially acceptable speed of slightly more than the posted speed limit. It is funny, that they post a speed limit, and then, according to popular myth, allow you, without penalty to exceed it by a given amount, which is four or five miles an hour. But, we take advantage of that leeway.

 
Which brings up a sore spot. Why don't people use cruise control? It is a good question, too. If people went a more uniform speed, it would prevent a lot of the weaving, and lane changing, and passing, re-passing, and congestion that curses so many drives across country. At least so many of ours. But, yesterday was peaceful, easy, and with little aggravation.

 
Surprisingly, the Outlet mall was peaceful, and relatively quiet, there was enough people to make it interesting, and fun, but not enough to consume the sidewalks and push the boundaries of sanity. 

Of course, the Adidas and Nike stores were filled, people in those stores always seem to believe they have certain rights that probably don't really exist. For exampe, the right to stand in the middle of the aisle, and try on shoes. 

 So, if you would like to look at shoes you will need to backtrack, navigate through aisles filled with people contorting themselves in an effort to put on a shoe while standing. Often, thrashing violently, arms flailing, hopping madly from side to side, a little clumsy ballet of gymnastics, followed by a breathless, "how do these look? I think they look good."

 
But, I don't stay in those stores long, just long enough for a few performances, then I am off, to more peaceful, sedate stores. Yesterday, we even tried a new stores, Pottery Barn, which surprisingly had very little pottery, but some very cool things. One of the things that seemed genius is the acrylic glasses.  They look like real glass, but if you drop them they don't break. Genius, I tell you.



Then we went and bought some clothes for my wife, at a place (Ann Taylor) that always uses headless mannequins.  Why headless?  It is a little disturbing, It is a little hard to tell how good an outfit will look on a person with a head.  "Well, that does look nice on a headless person, can you leave your head at home."  


And a new pair of Nike shoes for me, but we bought them at Famous Footwear, which is a much more polite shoe shopping experience.

 

And what trip to the outlet mall would be complete without stopping at the Goldfish Cracker store, the snack that smiles back. Officially it is called the Pepperidge Farms store, but everybody understands the real star is the delightful, flavorful fish.

Really, it was a good day, and we had a lot of fun .  And, we had McDonald's for breakfast and Popeye's chicken for lunch.  Days like that are what make life great.  Spending time with your family, and the laughter, and smiles, the sunshine, and crowds, the thrill of finding a good deal, and the joy of being a father, and a husband.  I would give a lot to live a day like that more often.

 

Attracting Fans, Difficulties and Rewards

NFL Stadiums are looking for unique, entertaining diversions to attract fans.  Pleasantries to bring people out of the comforts of their homes in to huge arenas filled with strangers.  It is perplexing, attracting people to these giant monstrosities, parking miles away, standing in long lines to enter, exit, and waiting for hours in your car to drive home.  If only there were a competition, some sort of game being played in the center of the arena.  What?  There is, you say?  Oh, then what is the problem?

It seems the average ticket price into an NFL game is $84.83 which is kind of pricey.  So, that could be part of the problem.  If you have a family of four and you are fortunate to earn middle class wages that is a huge part of your budget.  Well, at least it only costs $10.00 for parking.

But, once you are inside you can immerse your little family in the total experience.  It will only cost you $5.00 for a soft drink, or popcorn, and $8.00 for a beer, or a hot dog.  But, the service is so extraordinary that the budget busting prices won't seem extravagant.  Just kidding, you will probably stand in line long enough to watch your clothes go out of style.

Your seats are liable to be uncomfortable, with enough leg room for a child, and in the center of a long row, so every time you need to get out everybody will be inconvenienced and worried about spilling a hundred dollars of food and drinks.  And, it will be the same when you return.

Of course, there is the game, which might be so far away that you might not be able to tell which team is which, (think Tecmo Bowl, who has the ball, or what everybody is cheering about.  And, even if you can see well enough to enjoy the game your legs will cramp from being folded into such an awkward way, and your fingers will cramp from trying to hold a drink, a snack, and all of the prohibitively expensive souvenirs you bought,(possibly a mortgage payments worth) and live in terror of losing of destroying.

What can they do to attract more fans?  It is a puzzle, wrapped inside a riddle, tied up with a question, and tossed into a trunk of troubling doubt.  What do you think they should do.  The best suggestion will get an honorable tweet, with the #bestsuggestion.  I know, it is such an honor.