Working out with the Oldies, way back to 438 AD

Yesterday was the day.  It was kind of frightening.  It is a room full of machines, I am not comfortable with machinery.  But, a resolution requires some sacrifice.

Fluorescent lights are activated by motion detectors, which is a little creepy, a high tech solution to energy waste, and I am not very comfortable with technology.   But, a resolution requires some resolve.

The smell of antiseptic cleaner was subtle, but there, leaving the nagging question, is that really necessary? What kind of germy people were using these machines, exhaling, and grabbing with bacteria covered hands, you could almost hear the staph infections skittering across the floor, I am not really comfortable with germs, and infections.  But, a resolution requires some stupidity

A treadmill was a good choice, not much risk of looking foolish walking, right?  There is a whole row of treadmills, lined up neatly, facing the window, which looks over the street.  But, the panel was filled with buttons, and words, and choices, so I asked for help.

Since I was the only person, stupidity would have been magnified, and letting a machine outsmart me would have been a source of great mirth at the next meeting of physical fitness coordinators.  She explained the machine, it was not really difficult, this button starts it, this button speeds it up, or slows it down, this button raises or lowers the incline, and, all important, this button stops it.

Great, but there were a bunch of buttons, and lights, and things, what about those?  I didn't ask, maybe it is best not to know, maybe she would say, "don't worry about those, fat boy, you can't handle those buttons."

So, we started, me and the machine, and it was good.  I walked comfortably for a while, listening to a podcast, about Rome, which is a lot more interesting than you might imagine, at least it is a lot more interesting than I imagined.  Soon I realized that it was too interesting, and I was there to "work" out, so I pushed the button to increase the speed.

"Hey, this is good," I thought.  I was working, and it was good.  So, I raised the incline, and it felt good, the pace was pretty brisk, and the angle was, well, not flat, anyway.  After raising both again it was better.  I went for a while, working, and breathing, and feeling pretty good about myself.  Not quite so good about Romulus Augustulus (more on that later), though.

After cooing down, I stopped, a little sore, a little winded, and very happy that I had started.  I asked the attendant about combining some resistance training, and she said that was a good idea.  But, most important she said was to keep trying, anything was better than nothing, and she recommended "intervals."  Which, from her explanation, sound devilish, and difficult, but I will give them a shot.  She finished with the advice, "Anything is better than nothing, so don't give up."  And, it hit me, starting was important, but continuing, that is where the difference lies.

Tomorrow, I am returning, with a renewed vigor, a better plan, and a Visigoth podcast, or maybe something about Vikings.  If you know any good podcasts about Vikings, Visigoths, Vandals or Huns, please let me know, before Wednesday.

See you in court, buddy.

Lately I have been listening to several different history podcasts, (any of you in the Life Explained Nation who happen to know my wife are forbidden to tell her, she already thinks I'm kind of a geek, and needs no more ammunition, she already has NPR (National Public Radio), PRI (Public Radio International), CoC (Clash of Clans) countless apps on several touch screen devices, and a variety of stylus's (stylii?) with which to manipulate them, besides she is kind of a bully) seeking some Explanation of Life.

I haven't found it yet, but, am pursuing several leads down a variety of avenues, and back roads, and alleyways, and canals that pass for streets in some parts of the world, cart paths, in areas still to discover the joys of highway travel and sidewalks, bike paths and parking lots all over the dammed place.  I have not really worked out the answers yet, but have noticed several things.

1. No matter how hard mankind tries to infuse the present situation with a special sense of importance and relevance things seem to cycle through fairly predictable patterns.  Prior to almost every momentous, or catastrophic occurrence a group of people convinced a much larger group of people that the only choice was to follow them blindly.
2. The Renaissance was no picnic.  It may have been an improvement, but wow, people could be pretty brutal, even in times of "artistic enlightenment."
3. Technology is a blessing and a curse, even something that seems so beneficial as the printing press can be revolutionary, and can bring terrible consequences.  Think what Martin Luther could have accomplished with an iPhone and social networking.
4. As a race we are very good at improvising, and inventing, but not so keen on considering and controlling the outcomes.  Somehow, we have always managed to assume that things will work out, and we are in control.

It seems mankind has a real propensity for self importance, and large scale destruction.  Of course, there were probably some good things happening through history, but it was probably just an accident, somebody probably turned the wrong lever while trying to create a more powerful, incendiary explosive, and by a completely unusual turn of events, accidentally developed the pizza oven.

There is probably some new storm of human machination brewing just beyond the horizon right now, and it will kick over the apple cart and cause all sorts of problems, and we will all think, "wow, that was awful," but that will be the end of it.  We may be dancing on the edge right now, and not even realize.  One thing is fairly certain, as long as we are in charge of our own destiny things look bleak.  Animals and plants all over are waiting impatiently for our demise, and hoping we don't take them with us.

Right now, I am assembling an indictment against humanity.  We will be bringing charges against the human race from the beginning of recorded history, and possibly before if we can find any reliable eye witnesses.  Depending on your particular relationship with humanity you might want to retain legal council.