Another reason to hate flying.

In a disturbing turn of events an airline is going to start weighing passengers. One more reason to hate flying. Apparently it has to do with flight safety. They don't want their precious planes carrying too much dead weight. While there is no mention of reaching a limit, or what they plan to do with the information, it seems natural they are going to stop letting people on at a certain point, or charge more above a certain threshold.

It is an incentive to lose some weight. Let's face it, it is bad enough you're carrying around a few extra pounds, and now you get bumped to a later flight. Worse than that it will be filled with a bunch of thin, fit, healthy people, eating kale, and drinking green crap. "no thanks, I'll just walk to South America."

Or, maybe they will allow you, but not your luggage. "OK, you can get on lardass, but you will need to buy new clothes."

But, if they insist on doing this it seems like they are stopping short of really taking advantage of the opportunity. They should screen your blood pressure, and serum cholesterol. Nobody wants to be on a flight with a potential heart attack or stroke victim, that would make flying even worse.

And what about a complete psychological workup. Crazy people are the least comfortable people to fly with. I have a pie chart, and a list proving the phenomenon.

But, this is only fair if they let the passengers have a say. We should be allowed to see what everybody else weighs, and the results of the Rorschach tests, particularly the pilots, and flight attendants. We know they are nuts, it would be nice to know the extent.

I have the perfect solution. Everybody who is scheduled to fly has to meet the day before and have dinner together. We can have the weigh ins, and the examinations as a group, Kind of a meet and greet, it could be fun. Something fun, the person with the highest LDL cholesterol gets a free bag of Pork Rinds. The heaviest person will

Tea vs Coffee, It Is Time To Choose!

At the risk of straining the relations of two countries whose history are so closely associated, two countries whose history is a rich tapestry of cooperation and friendship, a blissful stroll through the making of the modern world (I am ignoring the whole revolutionary bit, because it doesn't support my opening sentence) we are going to answer the question that has been torturing modern society. Which is better, coffee or tea?  The world will finally have an answer, maybe, the world will finally know peace, possibly.

Since this is only the latest in a long series of confrontations between Mr. Raven, at The Blog of Thog, and us, here at Life Explained, (all of which have been great fun, and provided valuable knowledge to a world filled with useless information, for proof of that you only need to watch this touching, thoughtful explanation of the delicate subtleties of football, as played around the world), Mike thought, in a startling flash of brilliance, that we should invite dissenting, or supporting decisions from around the world.

You can start by voting here.  then write a blog post, record a pod cast, tweet, produce a video, or send an email to everybody, everywhere, telling them about the debate, and your choice, stand on the top of a mountain and scream your love for your hot drink of choice, which doesn't technically have to be coffee, or tea, please use the hash tag #HOTDRINKDAY or have the person video taping you screaming your choice from the top of the mountain use the hast tag #HOTDRINKDAY, and link all of your hard work to these blogs.  Which go live next Sunday, November 2nd, 2014 at 3:00 PM in Hull, or 11:00 AM in Ohio.   That way Mike can more easily track coffees resounding triumph and treat the drink with the proper respect.

One vote for coffee.

Remember, it is your civic duty to vote, and post and film, comment, and involve family and friends, coworkers, distant, barely known associates, so everybody's choice is known, it is an awesome responsibility, a terrible burden, a horrendous, crushing weight we all need to bear to keep society safe, and we are counting on you.

Bad News.

My wife, (my delicate little flower, my wonderful little angel) made me go to a health screening this morning.  It was a pretty simple procedure, they drew my blood, checked my blood pressure, checked my height and weight, and measured me around the waist.  No big deal.

They were all very nice, and respectful.  And after I was done with my height, and weight check she said "ok, we're done."  I thought I was home free.

"I can go?"

"No, no, no.  There are some chairs over there, take a seat and a 'health consultant' will be with you shortly."
Dang, this is trouble, I knew it wasn't going to be that easy.

"Maybe you should lay off
the donuts, Sir."

I sat down, and soon a soft spoken, gentle seeming woman came and asked me to follow her.  We sat down, and she started comparing the numbers on my sheet with "optimal numbers" from a form and her voice grew somber, grim, and the air grew cold.

Soon she just handed me the papers, and asked me to leave.

"Probably the best thing you can hope for is to die in a plane crash."  She said, taking a sorrowful look at the form she handed me.

"But, I hate to fly,"  I explained.

"Maybe you will get lucky and a plane will fall onto your car on your way to work this morning."  She offered hopefully.  "Please, sign here, and give me back the pen, you won't need it."

"Could I get a second opinion?"  I asked.

"Ok, your hair looks awful, and your mustache makes you look ridiculous."  Oh no, that really hurt, I thought my hair looked good today.

It was kind of a rough way to start my day, but when nobody was looking I grabbed a couple of pens from the reception table, so things are looking up.