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Thursday, August 13, 2015

Another reason to hate flying.

In a disturbing turn of events an airline is going to start weighing passengers. One more reason to hate flying. Apparently it has to do with flight safety. They don't want their precious planes carrying too much dead weight. While there is no mention of reaching a limit, or what they plan to do with the information, it seems natural they are going to stop letting people on at a certain point, or charge more above a certain threshold.

It is an incentive to lose some weight. Let's face it, it is bad enough you're carrying around a few extra pounds, and now you get bumped to a later flight. Worse than that it will be filled with a bunch of thin, fit, healthy people, eating kale, and drinking green crap. "no thanks, I'll just walk to South America."

Or, maybe they will allow you, but not your luggage. "OK, you can get on lardass, but you will need to buy new clothes."

But, if they insist on doing this it seems like they are stopping short of really taking advantage of the opportunity. They should screen your blood pressure, and serum cholesterol. Nobody wants to be on a flight with a potential heart attack or stroke victim, that would make flying even worse.

And what about a complete psychological workup. Crazy people are the least comfortable people to fly with. I have a pie chart, and a list proving the phenomenon.

But, this is only fair if they let the passengers have a say. We should be allowed to see what everybody else weighs, and the results of the Rorschach tests, particularly the pilots, and flight attendants. We know they are nuts, it would be nice to know the extent.

I have the perfect solution. Everybody who is scheduled to fly has to meet the day before and have dinner together. We can have the weigh ins, and the examinations as a group, Kind of a meet and greet, it could be fun. Something fun, the person with the highest LDL cholesterol gets a free bag of Pork Rinds. The heaviest person will