Finally, a Solution to the worlds problems,

Looking around the world today there is a lot of sadness, a lot of misery, and a lot of loneliness.  People are looking for a friendly voice, a soft shoulder, a warm embrace, something to make them happy, anything.  It is truly one of the tragedies of our time, we have become so enamored of technology, gadgetry, electronics that we have lost our sense of empathy, we are lost souls drifting in an ocean of communication, without no hope of communing.

Ray Davies sang of the 20th century being a mechanical nightmare, and he had a valid complaint, but this is worse, insidious and omnipresent, we can not escape the grasp of our devices, and find our friends.  We can not look past the touch screen to touch the lives of others, unless we can do it online.

What can we do about it?  How can we find even a moments respite, a small, warm touching moment of intimacy, a little warmth, the healthy, caring glow of companionship in a world gone mad with the lunacy of electronics?  You ask.

We, here at Life Explained (#lifeexplained) are glad you asked.  We think having a pet is a wonderful solution.  "But," you might protest, "pets can be so time consuming, demand so much attention, are such a huge commitment,in time and money, how can we justify such an investment?"

We, here at Life Explained (#lifeexplained) are glad you brought that up.  We have instituted the Rent A Pet Program* (RAPP, for short), a unique, inexpensive, commitment free way to have the loving, comforting presence of a pet, without the long term demands of ownership.

You simply email us tweetTweetJohn@yahoo.com with the dates you would like to have a pet, and we will send Dr. Dawg* over to cover the requested days, offering companionship, sympathy and caring, loving friendship, all for one low price.

Imagine coming home to this loving face after a hard thankless day at work.  Picture the joy you would feel having a companion waiting at the door, an understanding, caring pet, that offers nothing but compassion, and love.  No judgement, no demands, just love.  And, if he could make a pan of killer lasagna wouldn't that be even better?

Doesn't that sound joyous?  Wouldn't you like that?  Of course you would.  Act now, while there are still openings in the schedule, the holidays are a very stressful time and we expect a lot of demand, so reserve your Dr. Dawg visit now.

*Dr. Dawg and Rent A Pet are exclusive Life Explained properties, except no substitutes.  Life Explained (#lifeexplained) is not responsible for unfulfilled expectations, or any cardiovascular conditions resulting from consuming the comfort food that Dr. Dawg specializes in making.  Tell your doctor about any heart conditions, hypertension, or lactose intolerance, but, we, here at Life Explained think your doctor probably already knows.

Another Saturday Night, Another Chance to Dream.

As is normally the case, last Saturday we watched college football.  It was a nice day, so my son and I took off for a kick scooter ride, and we had a lot of fun, and took a few pictures, I only mention this so I can add this picture to the post.  I like this picture.

But, when we got home we started watching Minnesota play Michigan, at Ann Arbor. It was close at half time, Minnesota was ahead 10 to 7.  In the second half Minnesota started to dominate the game, and really looked like the better team.

It is always difficult to say whether one team is so much better than the other based on one game, and it is even harder to make that comparison from the results of one half.  But, it doesn't stop the announcers, in this case ESPN analyst Ed Cunningham, who said that Minnesota would have to be considered the odds on favorite in the Big Ten Western Division.

Based on this one half of dominant football he was willing to overlook Michigan State (I don't really remember what he felt their glaring weakness was), Wisconsin  (I am not sure why he felt they were so easy to ignore), and Nebraska, who, he said, "has their problems."  Excuse me, Mr Cunningham, but so far those weaknesses have been amply compensated for by their strengths, to the tune of 7.5 yards per play, and 6.9 yards per rush.  Sure, Nebraska's defense has been a little inconsistent, but anybody who has been paying attention has to say they are improving, and are vastly superior to last year at this time.

Of course, next weeks game at Michigan State (is it just my imagination or did Nebraska play at East Lansing last year?) will help clear up some of the picture, and Minnesota is certainly a good football team, but it is a little early make such bold predictions.

On an unrelated note, we watched most of the Air Force game.  They were playing Boise State, and I was rooting for Air Force.  I like the service academies, possibly because they run the option so much, and so well.  The Falcons were looking very good, really dominating the Broncos.  ESPN analyst Aaron Taylor was pretty certain it was going to be short lived.  With every Air Force miscue he would comment on how it might be just what Boise State needed to mount their inevitable comeback.  It never happened.  But, he did comment on one of the receivers, and how he "used to be a former quarterback."  It might be suggested, possibly, that he is still a former quarterback, and at some point will also be a former receiver.

Analysts are a funny group of people, it would be so hard to make such bold statements so often and wipe them from memory so quickly.  In fairness, though, if you had to fill up so much time with unscripted dialog it would be easy to misspeak occasionally.  I salute the sports announcers around the world, theirs is not an easy lot, and they are only trying to make a living.

Again, the Cornhuskers tromped up and down the field, smashing their way through an Illinois team that would have loved to ruin homecoming.  Ameer Abdullah proved he is a strong contender for the Heisman Trophy, and any other award that could possibly go to such a fantastic football player, who also seems to be such a wonderful human being.  I remember an interview last spring, when Ameer Abdullah claimed to have "more bounce than Benny."  What he forgot to mention was he also had more power than Hercules, more speed than Hermes, and more personality than anybody deserves.

I am starting to fall into that old trap, dreaming of an undefeated season, championships, and glory, and you know, it is great.  No matter what happens though, this team is a lot of fun to watch.  And, I thank them for pleasure, and the dreams.

Football Analysts should remember the wisdom of Bob Dylan who said,

"Well, the moral of this story,
The Moral of this song,
Is simply, one should never be,
Where one does not belong,
So, when you see your neighbor carrying somethin',
Help him with his load,
And, don't go mistakin' Paradise,
For that house across the road."

Friday, at Long Last

There is no math advanced enough, no savant keen enough, no super computer super enough to calculate the amount of time it takes to shut off the alarm clock, crawl out of bed, stagger down the hall, answer nature's call, splash some water on your weary, still sleeping face, stumble into the kitchen, pour a cup of coffee, slump into a chair and sit, lifeless, in the netherworld between life and death sipping the dark elixir hoping you can survive the day, somehow.

An odd transmogrification happens somewhere between half and three quarters of a cup.  Blood starts flowing to the heart, and the brain.  Cognitive reception begins to return, and the darkness that was creeping towards the chair, predator like, wanes, slinking back to the tomb from which it sprang.

Soon, you notice the television is on, there are people talking, it is Mike Davis, the 10TV meteorologist, talking about the impending flow of cool, dry air just in time for the weekend, Hey, it's Friday, that is great news.

Wait, what is that noise, it is whistling, or humming, or maybe an off key rendition of "Beauty in the River," by the Ozark Mountain Daredevils,

"We must all stand in the water,
We must find it when we roam
It don't matter what is said
We can wake up from the dead
And roll away the stone"

And it is coming from inside the house, in fact it is coming from you, and you are tapping your foot, and drumming the butter knife on the counter as you are fixing lunch, and you are even adding the "hallelujah" and the "Lord, Lord," at the end of the final chorus.

Dancing out the door, a thought pops into your head, there is a meeting at work, and they are bringing pastries, and sweets, and the sun smiles down, and you know it is thinking, "have a nice day."  Hey, you should stop and buy a lottery ticket on the way home.