Finally, a Solution to the worlds problems,

Looking around the world today there is a lot of sadness, a lot of misery, and a lot of loneliness.  People are looking for a friendly voice, a soft shoulder, a warm embrace, something to make them happy, anything.  It is truly one of the tragedies of our time, we have become so enamored of technology, gadgetry, electronics that we have lost our sense of empathy, we are lost souls drifting in an ocean of communication, without no hope of communing.

Ray Davies sang of the 20th century being a mechanical nightmare, and he had a valid complaint, but this is worse, insidious and omnipresent, we can not escape the grasp of our devices, and find our friends.  We can not look past the touch screen to touch the lives of others, unless we can do it online.

What can we do about it?  How can we find even a moments respite, a small, warm touching moment of intimacy, a little warmth, the healthy, caring glow of companionship in a world gone mad with the lunacy of electronics?  You ask.

We, here at Life Explained (#lifeexplained) are glad you asked.  We think having a pet is a wonderful solution.  "But," you might protest, "pets can be so time consuming, demand so much attention, are such a huge commitment,in time and money, how can we justify such an investment?"

We, here at Life Explained (#lifeexplained) are glad you brought that up.  We have instituted the Rent A Pet Program* (RAPP, for short), a unique, inexpensive, commitment free way to have the loving, comforting presence of a pet, without the long term demands of ownership.

You simply email us tweetTweetJohn@yahoo.com with the dates you would like to have a pet, and we will send Dr. Dawg* over to cover the requested days, offering companionship, sympathy and caring, loving friendship, all for one low price.

Imagine coming home to this loving face after a hard thankless day at work.  Picture the joy you would feel having a companion waiting at the door, an understanding, caring pet, that offers nothing but compassion, and love.  No judgement, no demands, just love.  And, if he could make a pan of killer lasagna wouldn't that be even better?

Doesn't that sound joyous?  Wouldn't you like that?  Of course you would.  Act now, while there are still openings in the schedule, the holidays are a very stressful time and we expect a lot of demand, so reserve your Dr. Dawg visit now.

*Dr. Dawg and Rent A Pet are exclusive Life Explained properties, except no substitutes.  Life Explained (#lifeexplained) is not responsible for unfulfilled expectations, or any cardiovascular conditions resulting from consuming the comfort food that Dr. Dawg specializes in making.  Tell your doctor about any heart conditions, hypertension, or lactose intolerance, but, we, here at Life Explained think your doctor probably already knows.

You Are Here, Please Go Over There.

Following is an item from The Hindu, an English Language Indian Newspaper with a large circulation base in Southern India, founded in 1878.

"Apple has bought the indoor GPS mapping firm wifiSLAM for 20 million dollars, The Wall Street Journal reported on Monday, in a move seen as a challenge to Google’s dominance of mobile mapping software.

WifSLAM’s technology could allow Apple to pinpoint the location of users inside buildings to within 2.5 metres — an asset that could be valuable to advertisers wishing to target mall shoppers.

Google already has an extensive catalogue of public floor plans which it used to map the interior of public buildings for users of its Google Maps service.

Apple tried to challenge the dominance of Google Maps when it released its own mapping software with the launch of the iPhone 5 and iOS 6 last year. However the software was widely criticized for being inaccurate and confusing and Apple was forced to issue an apology to users and recommend using third-party products."

There are many who see this as a creepy, big brother style invasion of privacy, while others see it as a blatant intrusion of direct and immediate marketing. More likely, this is the final piece of the puzzle. A technological implement that will transform the iPhone from a toy with a few useful applications for real life into the all encompassing, shining beacon of hope that everyone has dreamed about for so long.

Imagine, a trip to the mall, and a stop in the bathroom that lasts a little too long. A kind voice, nestled warmly in pocket or purse, says "Probiotic yogurt is on sale this week at Piggly Wiggly, five for $7.00." Thank you, Siri.

It is impossible to calculate the times a person has gone out, in public, wearing something that was not appropriate for their age, or size, or the occasion. Now, when they are shopping a stern voice will warn, "buying that shirt will be the biggest waste of money, and quite possibly cause the most embarrassment since your Junior year, maybe you should go look at the XXL Polo shirts."

Imagine the ease of saving money when one knows that Siri is going to say, sarcastically, "Are you sure you should be buying that, considering the amount you owe on your Visa Card?" the minute you get to front of the long line, filled with judgmental, smug, gainfully employed jerks.

People who are carrying around a few extra pounds will finally have the help they need to shed that extra weight, imagine the power of Siri shrieking "PUSH YOURSELF AWAY FROM THE TABLE, YOU FAT BASTARD."  Healthy, happy living through electronics.

Of course, it would be impolite to report what the iPhones say to each other, and would probably hurt a lot of people's feelings. But, this is one more step toward the complete reliance on technology and machinery for which mankind has been longing.