Help us in our efforts to save the world.

It was an ordinary day, here at the Life Explained Ohio Office (LEOhO). We had emptied the dish washer, made a fresh pot of coffee, and microwaved a breakfast burrito. Egg, jalapeno and cheese, (El Monterey, on sale at Kroger* for eighty nine cents**). When it struck us, we have expanded!

This is the big time. We have a top secret facility in the Great North East, (LENO) where they specialize in technology to enhance the performance of athletes through applied technology. Mostly, it seems like they use the time honored tradition of applying the right force, to bend the rules enough to give one team an advantage. It is next level stuff, the kind of thing you would expect from a world class facility.

Now we are introducing a Top Secret Facility in India (LEIO, or something, I don't know that we have the appropriate acronym yet). So far this office specializes in a more metaphysical examination of the expansion of self awareness. Using techniques heretofore thought impossible our officer in charge has challenged people to use time more wisely, and take each day as a unique opportunity. Perhaps the best advice you will ever get from this blog, so you should listen.

Should we rest on our laurels, and let the acclaim fall from the skies in waves of adoration, and accolades? Should we enjoy our success, and let things fall naturally into place. Probably not, not while there are problems that need solved, and assistance that needs rendered, and time that needs killed.

We are now accepting applications for the next Life Explained Office, in the Life Explained World Domination Campaign!

So, if you have an ax to grind, or a point of view to express, or some words dying to escape the prison of your mind we might have the place for you. The pay is lousy, the hours are short, and the requirements are the ability to fit in with the other Life Explained offices.

We need people who have little sense of moderation, a robust sense of the ridiculousness of life,  and don't live in the midwest, the northeast, or India. It wouldn't hurt if you had an interesting story to tell, and could tell it over and over again in different ways, with somewhat different endings, too.

Apply within.

*by the way, Kroger, and El Monterey, we are still looking for a sponsor.

**We really don't know how much they cost, we just made that up. They were in the freezer and we were hungry and they looked so good we ate them. Our apologies to whoever paid for them.

A nice day, somewhere.

Fall has arrived, and we are facing the prospect of winter. But, we can never stop dreaming about the perfect day. It is our curse, here at Life Explained, OH Office (LEHO). Of course at our Northeast Office (LENO) they have a different vision of the perfect day, any day from September to May that you don't have to shovel snow (for more than an 45 minutes) is pretty nice.

To create the perfect day we enlisted the help of our the Life Explained TerraForming Division. Space Agencies around the world are furious, they are working on a system to make distant planets hospitable, even delightful, why bother flying all the way to Mars if it isn't wonderful, after all.

Bob, the Lead Scientist, thought he had a perfect day dialed up. Sunny, warm and dry, with a light north breeze to keep things cool, and drive down the humidity that has been hovering over the area lately.

We were thrilled, we bought shorts and t-shirts, charcoal grills, steaks, brats, burgers, and Mahi-Mahi, frisbees and flip flops to work. Everybody was ready for one last summer day, we had a pitcher of Sangria and a cooler filled with bottled water, beer and soft drinks.

When dawn came over the area rain clouds stormed in from the south, and opened the valve, releasing a light, almost pleasant drizzle over the whole area, and our doppler radar showed a parade of clouds passing over the entire area for the whole day.

Everybody was furious. Even though the rain was pleasant and cool, it ruined the sand volleyball tournament we had planned. Some associates actually dug up some pitchforks and torches (a complete shock) and were headed towards Bob's office. Things were looking bleak.

But, this picture came through email to the whole company, and things started to make sense. We were so close. Maybe next time, Bob.