The Only Blogging Advice You Need. #FixThePlus

Blogging is an odd thing. It is something you have to do for yourself. And when I started, so long, so many posts ago, I did. Of course I always wanted people to read them, else why bother, but I was prepared to put it out there and be ignored. For the first several years that is what happened.

Then I started reading The Whacko Blogs. And I started to learn a few things. And the creator and genius, +Jeremy Crow  behind the whole group of blogs offered to help me. And he did. And people started reading my posts. With the help of his graphically gifted wife he redesigned my blogs, making them appealing and much easier to read.

Jeremy does not have any secrets to his success, he has steps to being successful. And he is willing to share them. His advice is practical and concrete, there is no jargon, no indecipherable acronyms, just guidelines on attracting and keeping readers. Moreover he is willing to let everybody know how to do things the right way.

Yesterday I was reading his Fitness Blog, another place where he helps people without judgement, without reservation, and with his own style, and noticed the list of his other blogs at the bottom. A simple message and a little help and I had my own.

If you are a blogger, or enjoy reading blogs, Jeremy is the guy to follow. If you want to get healthier Jeremy is the guy to follow. If you want a good laugh Jeremy is the guy to follow. He is the guy, in general.

On this #followFriday, the best thing you can do is follow The Whacko Blogs, and Jeremy. It is all the blogging advice you need, in one sentence.

Thank you, Jeremy, you are the man.

A New Look, and an Expression of Gratitude!

There are big things happening here, at Life Explained. Momentous things. Things that make the mountains tremble and the rotation of the earth to speed up, just a bit, but we are trying to get a handle on that.  The premature aging is probably only temporary, so just get off the phone with your lawyer. You have better things worry about. Look at your car, all that mountain shaking knocked a tree over in your front yard, and the insurance company is going to be steamed.

Anyway, we have "hired" one of the leading people in the universe to redesign our blog sites. And we must say she has done a remarkable job. They look absolutely stunning.

Here, go check them out, we will wait right here.

Life Explained, on Aging.

Life Explained Explores History

Life Explained Explains Music

Life Explained Explains Travel and Commuting

Life Explained The End,

And, of course the Original Life Explained, (you are here).

They look so good we wish her husband would pay her. Or at least stop walking over the "do not cross" line. Maybe we could just send her a leash.

Hey, wait a minute.

No more free lunches

It has been brought to our attention that the IRS would like to change the rules regarding "employer provided meals." They, presumably, just want their piece of the pie and the cake and the pizza and their slab of the bologna and spam and chopped ham. They just want cut of the meatloaf and the lasagna and the... well, you get the idea.

It is a sad day, here at Life Explained. We enjoy buying lunch, and sometimes dinner, an occasional bottle of wine, maybe some smooth Kentucky bourbon, or 18 year old Scotch, or even tapping a pony keg now and again to honor our hard working associates, It has always been a chance to say "thanks, there has not been one unintended explosion or death this week and we are very grateful."

But, thanks to the greed that is consuming our federal government, and their jack booted legions, that is a thing of the past.

Just to be safe we are not stopping there. What if the IRS decides that the use of the elevator should be considered a perk "equal to the direct cost of the" electricity, and service needed to operate and maintain that elevator. We put a credit card reader on that bad boy.

Wait, we thought, what about water, and hand soap, and toilet paper. What about all of those years all of those freeloaders have been using our refrigerator to keep their puny, petty little lunches cold, and bacteria free? Slamming down cups of company provided coffee, damn. And think of the money we wasted on air conditioning, and heat, so the ingrates could be comfortable. What about all that stuff, whose been footing the bill for that?

We have, that's who! Man, these guys have been playing us for suckers. It makes our skin crawl.

Quick, somebody call the purchasing department on the payphone, in the hallway, and see what kind of deal we can get on coin slots and card readers if we buy them in bulk. Oh, and send a nice thank you basket of muffins to the IRS.



This post was bought to you by the hardworking associates of the IRS.*












*Not really, but we are still looking for sponsors and you guys could use a little good publicity for a change.

The Awards Just Keep Piling Up, This Makes One!

Recently this blog was, and it's humble proprietor were nominated for an Award, the Book Fangirling Award. I am going to assume this is a compliment, and that the delightful, talented +Adele Archer  is not the type to toss trans Atlantic insults at an innocent, unassuming blogger.

The rules seem simple, which is good, because we be nothing but humble bloggers,

First. Thank the nominator, Thank you, Adele Archer, I am grateful you thought of me.

Second. Answer their book related questions. (see below)

Third. Nominate five bloggers, attempt to coerce them into answering the five book related questions you have created in the Fourth Rule. Further, try to convince them to nominate 5 bloggers (step 5) and asking each five book related questions they have developed in Step 6.

1: My least favourite book is ‘Snow Falling on Cedars’. If my bed was a little wonky, I would probably prop it up with that. Which book would you prop your bed up with?

'Plague Dogs" or "Watership Down" by Richard Adams. They were fantastic books, and I loved them completely. But, they were so depressing, so dark and terrible, they tore me to pieces, one wonderfully descriptive, beautifully written chapter at a time. And I probably wouldn't use them to prop up my bed, because of all the anguish they contain. I know this is not the type of least favorite book, but I am too flaky to finish a book I am not enjoying.

2: You’re only allowed eBooks OR real books for the rest of your life (now, don’t be pretentious), which would you choose?

I would take real books. I have never developed the ability to read on a screen. I haven't given up, but there is probably not much hope. I can't watch television shows on a smart phone or computer screen.

3: ‘Hunger Games’ or ‘Quiddich’, which is the suckiest sport?

I didn't read either book, but I don't think there is much wholesale death in Quiddich, so I would pick "Hunger Games."

4: If your life story was made into a biography, what chapter would you ask them to leave out?

The eighties, and the later parts of the seventies, which is ok, because I don't remember all that much about them.  But, if they would allow a little fiction it might be acceptable.

5: Bloggers are renowned for being a peaceful peoples, but which character from which book (other than Bella Swan from Twilight) would you most like to slap?

Fiction, I would choose Scheisskopf from "Catch 22" what a putz!  Non fiction it would be the Khwarazm Shah from any book about the conquests of Genghis Khan. Depending on the writer he may have almost single-handedly brought about the destruction of the Persian Empire. Though slapping him would have been suicide. So I choose fiction.

My choices are +Mike Raven  from the Blog of Thog, a blogger without equal, +Joy Fanning from Aspiring Joy,I know she loves books, and has a fantastic blog, and is one of my first blogging friends, and +Rachel Rennie  from Rachel's Blog, another book lover, and a blogger who can really write. While that is not the full contingent of nominees, it ain't bad. And, it is one more than +Adele Archer .

I wish you all luck, and offer my apologies.

My book related questions.

1. I have reread several books, just because I love them. Do you do that, if so which book have your read the most?

2. Is there a time you think Fiction, no Non-Fiction? Sometimes I have to read something real.

3. I love certain authors for the way they write, they way they can craft a sentence, a good sentence is wonderful. Do you have any books that you feel are just beautifully written, works of art?

4.  When I was young I bought a used book at a second hand store called "The Beast Regiment." it was great, and I haven't been able to find a copy since then. Do you have any ideas for me?

5. Writing is personal, reading is solitary. But sharing a great book is such a joy. Do you think books are the beauty that can save the world?

An award, wow that's big time.

Many people may not realize this, and it may come as a shock to people who know me, but I have friends.  At least a few friends, online, but, and I have checked the rules, they do count.  One of my friends nominated me for an award, “the Beautiful Blogger Award.” and I have been working out, so it is not surprising.

The rules are simple;

Thank the person who nominated you.

Thank you, +Mike Raven  (a delightful blogger, and a good person).

Add the award logo to your blog.  I will do that, as soon as I figure out how.  I am lucky if I can add a post, but if I have to hire a consultant, or a programmer, to help me it will be on there.

 

Answer the questions, kindly see below.

Nominate three bloggers for the award.

I would like to nominate +Cynthia Breneman, from My Diary, her education is obvious, as is her love for numbers, but, I enjoy the insights and the keen intellect.  

Also, I would like to nominate Patrick Weseman from Adventures In Weseland.  A visual journal that always seems like a friendly trip to a different place, plus it makes me want to be a better photographer.

And, my last nominee is +Dog Brindle of Dog Brindle Barks. a man who tackles aging with the same vigor as ghosts, aliens and all things supernatural, his blog covers a lot of territory, very well, and is a lot of fun to read.

Ask ten questions that each of the recipients are obligated to answer.  Again, please see below.

1. What is your favourite time of year?

Vacation, of course.

2. What is your favourite place in the world?

Right now it is Estes Park, CO. But, it has been a long time since I have been there, so that may change after my next visit, I am a real flake.  A lot of people think it is a tourist town, but I love it.

3. What is your best memory?

When my children were born.

4. What are you wearing?

Gym shorts, flip flops and an Adidas t-shirt, my evening uniform.

5. When do you like to blog?

Morning, but I am trying to add other times of the day.  I am writing this at 10:00 at night, and it seems to be going well, no worse than normal, anyway.

6. What (if you have one) is your middle name - and do you like it?

Allen, and it was my dad’s name so I do like it.

7. What's your least favourite animal?

Spiders, snakes, bats, slugs, skunks, giant snakehead fish, tapeworms, leeches, ticks, anything venomous, or invasive, or carnivorous, I am not overly fond of cows, or horses, and one time while I was driving a turkey flew into my side mirror, knocking it off the car, so I am not crazy about them… the list is pretty long.

8. What REALLY annoys you?

Sometimes almost everything, sometimes almost nothing,

9. Favourite hot drink?

Coffee, it may be my favorite drink, except for beer, and bourbon, and sometimes wine.

10. Tell me one interesting fact about you that people might not know.

I am terrified of boats, at least when they are on the water, in a showroom they hold no power over me.

Here are the questions for my victims.

1. What songs makes you smile, and starts your foot tapping?

2. What book had the most profound effect on your life?

3. Do you enjoy Star Wars, Star Trek or The Lord of the Rings more?

4. What is your favorite card game?

5. If money was no object where would you go on vacation?

6. What sport did you play as a child?

7. Did you think the last episode of Lost was disappointing?

8. Are you left handed or right handed?

9. If you could travel in time only once and were guaranteed a safe return which way would you travel.

10. Preparing a meal can be rewarding, do you have one that makes you feel like a real chef?

Please accept my apologies.

Check it out.

Please, check out my latest post on Find.com.  Find.Com, a great place.  Find.com is a wonderful sight, with a lot of great ideas for gifts, and with Christmas coming fast (trust me, I work for a place that distributes all sorts of gift items, and I can tell you without doubt that businesses are stocking up for Christmas now) there is no better time to start looking than right now.  And, there is no better place to start looking than Find.com.  So, do yourself a favor and head on over, and check out the great selection of cool things.  You won't be sorry.  Neither will the people on your gift list.

My post was about a little device that helped me overcome my aversion to exercise, a wonderful, inexpensive, sort of, invention that is absolutely fantastic.  A Know Ped, by Go Ped.  It is so much fun, so easy to use, and so innovative.  Depending on where you live you will probably be the first one around to spin the wheels of one of these bad boys.  Check it out here. A Long Clean Ride.  It won't take you to the end of the world, but it will make you smile a little more, and feel a little better, and that is a pretty nice destination.  And if I see you riding one around I will buy you a coffee, or a tea, if you prefer.

Lefty Pop, the worlds greatest website, and the worlds funniest people, and me.

Big news!  No, seriously big news.  My blog post about nature, and mankind, working together to make things even worse than they are already are was noticed, and published, on a nationally renown, respected, solemn, serious news site.  Okay, they didn't accidentally notice the post, I sent it to them, and they are probably not all that solemn, or serious, but they were smart enough to recognize my keen insight, tireless research, and unfailing reasoning, or they couldn't find anything better.

But, I don't care, they are fantastic people, with a fantastic website, and a marvelous sense of humor, and I think I love them, and so should you.

Stop at the site, and tell them how much you loved my post, it is your duty.

An Award, for me? Wow.

This blog has had the distinct honor of being nominated for the Liebster Award.  It was a gift from a very distinguished, serious blogger, +christy barongan, who writes the "Normal in Training" blog.  Sometimes I look at life as a series of accidents, random, scattered mishaps, that we are all just trying to get past, that there is no greater need in life than making it through today.  And Ms. Barongan's blog is antidote to my complete disregard for convention.  She is thorough, and offers insight into the needs of daily interactions.  It is too easy for me to look at everybody I spend time with as the next hazard, or puzzle that needs to be avoided, if possible, or solved if unavoidable.

In truth, when I wrote my first blog post, so long ago, I intended to tackle the difficulties of living, but that was too hard, so I opted for the absurd, and have never looked back, but to this day look with envy on the people who are trying to figure things out, and help others do the same.

So thank you, for the nomination, +christy barongan and for writing such a compelling blog.

Here are the rules for the award,

Liebster Rules

In order to participate, Liebster nominees must:

1.  Thank the person who nominated you. (Thank you, +christy barongan it was very nice, and I am sorry UVA and Tony Bennett did not go further.)

2. Answer the 11 questions given to you.

3. Nominate at least 5 blogs with less than 200 followers (approximately).

4.  Post 11 questions for your nominees to answer.

5.  Post a comment on your nominees' blogs to let them know that they've been nominated.

Here are the questions Ms. Barongan asked,

1.  What job would make you say, "I can't believe I get paid to do this!"

I am not sure, I guess, I would love to be a historian, that is kind of recent, but I have been geeking on history podcasts.  That kind of stuff consumes me.

2.  What's the last dream that you remember?

It was about a giant spider (I hate spiders) in the basement, an absurdly big spider, it was so ridiculous it was not even a nightmare, which leads me to the conclusion I can't even dream correctly.
3.  Who was your favorite character on "The Brady Bunch" and why?

What was the dog's name?  I don't like "The Brady Bunch."  I grew up with the Brady's and hated their popularity, and uniquely wonderful life.  They never even had to stay after school to clean erasers, uppity, pretentious, do-gooder snobs.

4.  What was your New Year's Resolution this year? 

Lose weight and exercise more, right on track to ignore both, leaving my record of failure unblemished.

5.  What do you want to be remembered for? 

Being a decent person, who was nice to people and fun to be around, I still have some time, right?
6.  What advice would you give to someone who is thinking about starting a blog?

Do it!  It is a great way to exercise your mind, and you might even get nominated for an Award, Thank You, +christy barongan!
7.  How many jumping jacks can you do in a minute?

I don't know, but it would not be very many.  I can guess, but am not going to find out.  See #4.
8.  If you could put 3 things into a time capsule, what would they be?

Bob Dylan's "Blood on the Tracks," a copy of "Catch 22" and my KinIIm phone, it was great.
9.  Who is your favorite superhero? 

From comic books it would be Spider Man, and from the movies it would be Blade or Selena from "Underworld."
10.  What song best describes you?

"My Back Pages" because in so many ways "I was so much older then I'm younger than that now."
11.  What's the last book that you couldn't put down?

Since I have been geeking on history, as mentioned earlier, it was "Genghis Khan, Makers of History" series.  

My eleven questions are:

1. What was your main impetus to begin blogging?

2. What was your favorite book?

3. If you had a time machine where would you go first?

4. When you look at life what thing puzzles you most?

5. Have you ever posted a Facebook update just to make someone jealous, or angry?  

6. Would you explain?

7. What is your favorite vacation spot, someplace you have been and intend to return?

8. How many play lists are on your mp3 player?

9. Looking at your life now, and thinking about your school years, in what subject do you wish you would have payed more attention?

10. Why?

11. Do you believe there is life on other planets?

My nominees are;

+Mike Raven  at the Blog of Thog, a very funny guy, who has written a guest post for my blog.

+Luna LaBlue, from My Lower Case Life, who's posts are so open and genuine, she seems like a friend.

Mike Kraus from Mike Kraus, a very talented, artistic individual,

+Len Loewen from http://winnipeglen.blogspot.com/ who doesn't post often, but is very entertaining when he does, and really needs to add some sort of follow option on his blog.

+Andrew Hughes who writes A Bloke Thinking About Things though he has been a little absent lately, he may just be thinking about a lot of things.