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Thursday, June 13, 2013

A plan to help everybody,

There have been many concerns with the Federal Government data mining our wireless carriers and collecting information about our lives, friends, habits, desires, down to what we purchase, and what we have planned.  Most of these concerns are valid and should be addressed.  Of course, we as Americans will quickly forget it happened and our Government being our Government will say a few solemn words, offer some meager defense, and carry on, and perhaps even expand the program.

We here, at Life Explained, are nothing if not realists, and we just want you to understand the way things work, that is why we work so diligently to bring you the latest news.  We are also not adverse to saving a few bucks when we can, and helping our friends in the government bring themselves closer to solvency at the same time.  That is why we are going to offer another chance for cooperation, another opportunity for increasing revenue without raising taxes, and offering the citizens of this great nation a helping hand, all while taking a hand out.

Here is how it should work.  You get online, and read some articles about vacationing in Key West.  So, you look into flights, rental cars, hotel rooms, all of the things required to start planning a dream trip.  It will be great.  Your whole family will be so excited

Before you can start clipping coupons for sunscreen you get a call.

"Hello, this is the National Security Agency, Tour and Travel Division.  We couldn't help but notice you are planning a little getaway to Florida on the 27th.  That is a great idea.  You really need it, after that scathing email from the CFO yesterday.  That guy is a jerk sometimes."  A friendly, reassuring voice says.

"We would like to save you a few dollars on your motel.  Using the buying power of the Federal Government, we can save you 10% on your motel rooms, and get you upgraded to a mid size on your rental car.  How does that sound?"  The voice asks, you can sense the excitement, a civil servant who loves their job.

"Great, I guess.  What do I have to do?"  Is all you can muster.  It seems so strange, a government employee trying to be helpful.

"Just book your tour with us, and the savings are automatic.  Plus, you get the option to choose where your government spends the profits.  Many people are choosing the "Balance the Budget option B" but another popular choice is the "New Weapons for the Next Millenium option C"  You will get a full brochure, as soon as the credit is processed."

This is great!  Naturally, you jump at the chance.

The voice adds, "judging by your last checkup you should probably get a new swimsuit, they are on sale at CostCo, and I can send you a coupon for an additional savings of $5.00, oh and the results came back from the biopsy, and they were benign.  Also, you might want to talk to your son.  He is thinking of getting a tattoo."