T-Mobile, Sprint and AT&t are now seeking a class action lawsuit demanding that the National Security Agency subpoena their records as well.
According to AT&T spokesperson Katie Nagus her company was "bruised by this slap in the face. We have customers, too you know? And some of them are pretty shady."
Sprint issued a public statement claiming "We have several customers who may be up to no good, and they feel completely ignored by the very government that is supposed to be intruding in their lives."
One T-Mobile ne'er do well, who tearfully requested anonymity, said "why do I even bother with all of these complicated conspiracies involving violent overthrow of the established order, funded by kidnapping, extortion and robbery, when the people who are so willing to take my taxes don't even care. I might as well just get a job."
Several lawyers representing the "little three" were lined up outside of the National Security Agency headquarters holding boxes of customer telephone records, demanding they be sifted through for any suspicious activity. In the background a small army of protesters were sitting up tents, painting signs demanding government scrutiny and making s'mores, man those things are great!