I am not good at math, want to add two numbers together, no problem, subtract one number from another, heck yeah, give me some paper, a pencil, with a good eraser and I can even lay some multiplication on you, daddio, not much, but some. Of course, division is a problem, fractions are tough, and any math that uses letters is just ridiculous. Unfortunately, I am the only one in the family who has not succumbed to the dark magic of math.
My wife has a photographic memory for numbers, she can tell you how much the payment was on our first car. She figures percentages in her head, and knows how much the bill should be at the checkout when we are shopping, so if the price on the avocados was wrong, she can make them fix it, right then and there.
My sons both take such advanced math classes in school that I can not even operate the calculators they use. I tell them both "yeah, if you are so good at math why do you need a calculator?" They roll their eyes to the heavens, asking the Lord for strength, and sigh, kind of like their Mother, it is something I see often. Then all three of them walk away discussing exponents, and other words I think they may be fabricating as they talk.
It makes for some difficult times watching basketball. If our team is doing well I will say something like "wow, a 12 point lead with 4 minutes left, that's great."
And, without fail, "No, dad," they can make the word 'dad' sound like an insult, "it is a 14 point lead."
"Oh, right, well it was a 12 point lead."
"No, dad, it was an 11 point lead and they made a three point shot."
"Oh, yeah, right, right, I was thinking of another game, it might not have been this team, maybe a different sport, where some team had a 12 point lead, it was great."
Three sets of eyes roll upward, and the sighs are almost in harmony. It is kind of intimidating to have the power to trigger such a choreographed response. I try to use it only for good.
But, I have the answer, a Casio Calculator Watch. Then I can say, "look a 14 point lead, at 7:46 in the evening." And if I get the right watch, I will be able to tell them, "look, a 14 point lead at 7:46, which, is 9:46 AM in Tokyo." They will be so impressed, and I will look pretty darned cool, too. So, if you need some numbers crunched, send them my way, I will be happy to help.
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
Math, the Devil's Subject.
There is not much to say, but, for those who find any offense, please remember these are only stories, jokes, and have no relation to reality. Kind of like life.
I like life, and hope it lasts a long time, but it does require some explanation, that is why these blogs exist. To help people navigate times and events that make no sense.
Here are a few places you can find a few things.
The Original Life Explained. Where it all started, a little rambling and a lot of nothing important.
Life Explains The End Views on humanity's race to self extinction. I hope I am wrong.
Life Explains Smiles Because everybody likes it when you smile.
Life Explains Aging Getting older is not always easier, but it is worth the effort. And a few small things can make it much more pleasant.
Life Explains Traveling and Commuting Mostly commuting. Driving bugs me and working bugs me so driving to work is the ultimate insult of modern life, and I like to complain.
Life Explained Explores History. The real problem with history is there is so much of it. It is all over the place. But, if you take the time to look at the small pieces it is fascinating.
Life Explains Music Music is a universal language. I like guitar based rock and roll, but there is a little bit of a lot here.