A new meme app, complete with retribution,

Dawn is a special time, it carries the promise of a new day. I wake up early on the weekends, and enjoy the quiet, no television, no distractions. My mind is free to wander and explore. Coffee, me and a PC.

Without the straight jacket of daytime and conversation imagination is free, and it can be cathartic. Sometimes it can be a little dangerous, though. Sometimes a person can get bored and start looking around at new apps.

Maybe, you think about some slight, some little well meant passive aggressive advice from somebody.

Here is a new app to create custom memes, you think. It is time to thank all of those people who "helped" you through life.



















Maybe there was a special teacher you would like to thank personally. What better way than a custom meme using a picture of a long dead president. Everybody respects the words of whatever president this was.*

Wait, weren't there some bosses that were particularly helpful, offering fatherly advice, and helpful tips. Don't they deserve a note of gratitude as well?
















*I was not only a poor student in math, I stunk at history, too.
**This is mostly intuition, since I never really tried doing it right. But, man I was fast.

Autumn, kind of, a little bit, maybe.

Today is the official start of the fall season.  Not really official in the official sense, but my youngest son is back in school, tired, cranky, and irritable (as far as I can tell that never changes.   from pre-school to college, which is a good reason to put them in a dorm, I suppose).  But, it is also the time of year parenting has the biggest rewards.

It is a chance to show your parenting chops, your math, English, art skills, that have hidden, lying dormant for so long.  Take them out, dust them off, strut them around the living room for a while.  You should make sure to dim the lights a little, you don't want to blind anybody.

But, as soon as you find that your child is in Algebra 3, or Pre-Calculus, or some bizarre thing, and you have no idea what any of those things even mean.  You look through the book for something remotely recognizable, anything that will allow you to step in and say "let me help you with that, son."  But, it looks like the book was written by aliens from a distant planet with math skills far surpassing the long division you are still struggling to learn, thank goodness they put calculators on everything.  No worries, you can still call upon your grammar skills to impress.

Unfortunately, grammar has turned into "Language Arts" and they are reading the "Iliad," and who knows what any of that is about.   It was written by ancient foreigners, about something that might make a great movie, with the Rock, or Vin Diesel, but it is almost impossible to read.  Why can't they teach some good, American stuff, maybe some Louis L'amour, or John Grisham, or even a little of that woman who wrote all of those alphabet based crime books, "A is for Arson," "B is for Bad, Bad Grades," then you could really flex your literary muscles.  But, it is not to be.

Do they want to talk about government, having lived through person kind of an expert in Government excesses, and the workings of official Washington.  But, nobody wants to hear about that anymore.  Now everybody wants to talk about filibusters, and appropriations, and committees, and caucuses.  Bunch of pointless words, who knows or cares what any of that stuff means. Oh well, those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it, and when that smug little Political Science teacher talks about discretionary vs. mandatory spending he is just inviting corruption and abuse.  It's not your problem, right, you tried to help.

Man, when they were in Kindergarten, they really thought you were smart, snotty little know it alls, anyway.  Kids are such a nuisance, anyway.

Math, the Devil's Subject.

I am not good at math, want to add two numbers together, no problem, subtract one number from another, heck yeah, give me some paper, a pencil, with a good eraser and I can even lay some multiplication on you, daddio, not much, but some.  Of course, division is a problem, fractions are tough, and any math that uses letters is just ridiculous.  Unfortunately, I am the only one in the family who has not succumbed to the dark magic of math.

My wife has a photographic memory for numbers, she can tell you how much the payment was on our first car.  She figures percentages in her head, and knows how much the bill should be at the checkout when we are shopping, so if the price on the avocados was wrong, she can make them fix it, right then and there.

My sons both take such advanced math classes in school that I can not even operate the calculators they use.  I tell them both "yeah, if you are so good at math why do you need a calculator?"  They roll their eyes to the heavens, asking the Lord for strength, and sigh, kind of like their Mother, it is something I see often.  Then all three of them walk away discussing exponents, and other words I think they may be fabricating as they talk.

It makes for some difficult times watching basketball.  If our team is doing well I will say something like "wow, a 12 point lead with 4 minutes left, that's great."

And, without fail, "No, dad," they can make the word 'dad' sound like an insult, "it is a 14 point lead."

"Oh, right, well it was a 12 point lead."

"No, dad, it was an 11 point lead and they made a three point shot."

"Oh, yeah, right, right,  I was thinking of another game, it might not have been this team, maybe a different sport, where some team had a 12 point lead, it was great."

Three sets of eyes roll upward, and the sighs are almost in harmony.  It is kind of intimidating to have the power to trigger such a choreographed response.  I try to use it only for good.

But, I have the answer, a Casio Calculator Watch.  Then I can say, "look a 14 point lead, at 7:46 in the evening."  And if I get the right watch, I will be able to tell them, "look, a 14 point lead at 7:46, which, is 9:46 AM in Tokyo."  They will be so impressed, and I will look pretty darned cool, too.  So, if you need some numbers crunched, send them my way, I will be happy to help.