Today, It sure ain't yesterday,

Today we are starting a movement to hire the Polar Vortex as a salaried, seasonal employee.  Beginning in June each year we would like him\her (for the sake of this post we will call the Polar
Vortex Her) to move to the Midwest, and manage our weather for us.   

She has proven herself to be a powerful, effective supervisory asset, and we think that kind of authority should be rewarded.  We are willing to offer you a generous salary, we will discuss the final numbers with your agent, but, rest assured it will be much more than any weather pattern has ever been offered.

There is a gernorous retirement plan, fully funded, stock options and medical insurance.  Also, we will throw in a health club membership, not that she needs that, she looks very fit, and healthy, but just in case she wants to work out. 

Also, and this is important, we are willing to give her the winter off, and she is  free to spend it anywhere you want.  We do ask that it not be Central Ohio, though.

Polar Vortex, if you are reading this, please let us know, and we will process the paper work, quickly, efficiently, and in speedy denial of all reality.