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Saturday, August 16, 2014

Autumn, kind of, a little bit, maybe.

Today is the official start of the fall season.  Not really official in the official sense, but my youngest son is back in school, tired, cranky, and irritable (as far as I can tell that never changes.   from pre-school to college, which is a good reason to put them in a dorm, I suppose).  But, it is also the time of year parenting has the biggest rewards.

It is a chance to show your parenting chops, your math, English, art skills, that have hidden, lying dormant for so long.  Take them out, dust them off, strut them around the living room for a while.  You should make sure to dim the lights a little, you don't want to blind anybody.

But, as soon as you find that your child is in Algebra 3, or Pre-Calculus, or some bizarre thing, and you have no idea what any of those things even mean.  You look through the book for something remotely recognizable, anything that will allow you to step in and say "let me help you with that, son."  But, it looks like the book was written by aliens from a distant planet with math skills far surpassing the long division you are still struggling to learn, thank goodness they put calculators on everything.  No worries, you can still call upon your grammar skills to impress.

Unfortunately, grammar has turned into "Language Arts" and they are reading the "Iliad," and who knows what any of that is about.   It was written by ancient foreigners, about something that might make a great movie, with the Rock, or Vin Diesel, but it is almost impossible to read.  Why can't they teach some good, American stuff, maybe some Louis L'amour, or John Grisham, or even a little of that woman who wrote all of those alphabet based crime books, "A is for Arson," "B is for Bad, Bad Grades," then you could really flex your literary muscles.  But, it is not to be.

Do they want to talk about government, having lived through person kind of an expert in Government excesses, and the workings of official Washington.  But, nobody wants to hear about that anymore.  Now everybody wants to talk about filibusters, and appropriations, and committees, and caucuses.  Bunch of pointless words, who knows or cares what any of that stuff means. Oh well, those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it, and when that smug little Political Science teacher talks about discretionary vs. mandatory spending he is just inviting corruption and abuse.  It's not your problem, right, you tried to help.

Man, when they were in Kindergarten, they really thought you were smart, snotty little know it alls, anyway.  Kids are such a nuisance, anyway.