Next week the company that employs me is having a meeting, several ranking members of our marketing, product development and sales teams are flying into town. It will be a serious, considered meeting, and there will be many important things discussed, and potentially the road to boundless success, untrammeled good fortune, and exotic riches will be mapped, and the first steps taken. But, with any luck there will be donuts. Not that I am invited to the meeting, (thank goodness, I can get myself in enough trouble without being stuck in a room filled with important company people, and donuts) but often they buy donuts for everyone (thank goodness).
Bagels would be ok, too. Donuts are the hallmark of a good meeting, though. And, I have researched this very carefully, "meeting donuts" don't count against daily caloric intake. It is a little known rule of mathematical physics that ("MD(c)=<(H2O+C(ndc))". MD(c) stands for the (c)alorie from Donuts provided at a Meeting are equal to or less than a glass of water and a cup of Coffee with (n)on (d)airy (c)reamer (which means it is not from a dairy, it seems). OK, I just made that up, but it would be rude to ignore free donuts.
Even my doctor, who despises almost everything I do, does not approve of being ill mannered. And really, who does, particularly when it comes to donuts, or bagels, or cookies, (cookies would be ok, too, or maybe cupcakes, those are always good).
Anyway, one good way of planning a weekly menu for your family is by the meetings being held where you work. Since I am in charge of making lunches for my wife and I, it is crucial to keep a careful eye on the facility use where she works. if there is a meeting of the managing directors I can probably skip making her lunch that day, figuring she can scavenge from the buffet they are sure to have. There are always leftovers and if lunch does not need to be made, we can hit the snooze button one more time.
Plus, a free lunch is free. And that is good for the old budget. As Ray Davies sang, so wisely
"Cheap is small and not too steep,
But best of all cheap is cheap."
So, if you want to save some money, get some extra sleep (and who doesn't?) offer to clean up after the company meetings (for the love of God, don't offer to join the meeting, those things can last for decades). Not only will you look like a team player, you will get some free food, plus sometimes you can find a little change that fell out of one of the Armanis. Plus, it will get you out of performing whatever meaningless, thankless,humiliating, task you were performing so admirably and with such finesse and precision.
Thursday, September 11, 2014
Never pass up a good thing.
There is not much to say, but, for those who find any offense, please remember these are only stories, jokes, and have no relation to reality. Kind of like life.
I like life, and hope it lasts a long time, but it does require some explanation, that is why these blogs exist. To help people navigate times and events that make no sense.
Here are a few places you can find a few things.
The Original Life Explained. Where it all started, a little rambling and a lot of nothing important.
Life Explains The End Views on humanity's race to self extinction. I hope I am wrong.
Life Explains Smiles Because everybody likes it when you smile.
Life Explains Aging Getting older is not always easier, but it is worth the effort. And a few small things can make it much more pleasant.
Life Explains Traveling and Commuting Mostly commuting. Driving bugs me and working bugs me so driving to work is the ultimate insult of modern life, and I like to complain.
Life Explained Explores History. The real problem with history is there is so much of it. It is all over the place. But, if you take the time to look at the small pieces it is fascinating.
Life Explains Music Music is a universal language. I like guitar based rock and roll, but there is a little bit of a lot here.