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Thursday, September 11, 2014

Never pass up a good thing.

Next week the company that employs me is having a meeting, several ranking members of our marketing, product development and sales teams are flying into town.  It will be a serious, considered meeting, and there will be many important things discussed, and potentially the road to boundless success, untrammeled good fortune, and exotic riches will be mapped, and the first steps taken.  But, with any luck there will be donuts.  Not that I am invited to the meeting, (thank goodness, I can get myself in enough trouble without being stuck in a room filled with important company people, and donuts) but often they buy donuts for everyone (thank goodness).

Bagels would be ok, too.  Donuts are the hallmark of a good meeting, though.  And, I have researched this very carefully, "meeting donuts" don't count against daily caloric intake.  It is a little known rule of mathematical physics that ("MD(c)=<(H2O+C(ndc))".  MD(c) stands for the (c)alorie from Donuts provided at a Meeting are equal to or less than a glass of water and a cup of Coffee with (n)on (d)airy (c)reamer (which means it is not from a dairy, it seems).  OK, I just made that up, but it would be rude to ignore free donuts.

Even my doctor, who despises almost everything I do, does not approve of being ill mannered.  And really, who does, particularly when it comes to donuts, or bagels, or cookies, (cookies would be ok, too, or maybe cupcakes, those are always good).

Anyway, one good way of planning a weekly menu for your family is by the meetings being held where you work.  Since I am in charge of making lunches for my wife and I, it is crucial to keep a careful eye on the facility use where she works.  if there is a meeting of the managing directors I can probably skip making her lunch that day, figuring she can scavenge from the buffet they are sure to have.  There are always leftovers and if lunch does not need to be made, we can hit the snooze button one more time.

Plus, a free lunch is free.  And that is good for the old budget.  As Ray Davies sang, so wisely

"Cheap is small and not too steep,
But best of all cheap is cheap."

So, if you want to save some money, get some extra sleep (and who doesn't?) offer to clean up after the company meetings (for the love of God, don't offer to join the meeting, those things can last for decades).  Not only will you look like a team player, you will get some free food, plus sometimes you can find a little change that fell out of one of the Armanis.  Plus, it will get you out of performing whatever meaningless, thankless,humiliating, task you were performing so admirably and with such finesse and precision.