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Monday, December 15, 2014

Happy New Year, well, that is up to you.

We, here at Life Explained (#lifeexplained) are working around the clock to bring you the New Year (#haveagreatnewyear), on time and under budget.  It has been a very busy year, many great things, many less than great things, and a few really bad things, have happened around here this year.  But, you deserve a New Year (#haveahappynewyear), and it shouldn't cost a cent more than the agreed upon price.

Of course, the cost of raw materials has increased dramatically.  Many people feel that the increase is caused by several third world countries deciding to have a Happy New Year, so there is more competition for the resources required.  And moving those raw materials from place to place is hideously expensive, too.  But, we are willing to bear the increased expense to bring you the best New Year (#newyear) money can buy, don't worry that most of it will be our money.

We are not even going to raise the subject of labor costs...  Oops, I guess we already raised the subject.  Well, since we are talking about it anyway, it takes a lot of man hours and woman hours, (it takes absolutely no children hours, so anybody from the National Labor Relations Board, or the United State Department of Labor who happen to be looking, look elsewhere) to construct a decent New Year (#newyearyeahright).  But, we have your backs, and will pay the wages, compensation, bonuses, payroll taxes, insurance premiums, and other costs associated with the project.

It is vital to craft the New Year (#newyearwhocares) skillfully, and with quality components.  We only have to look back on 1988, that year was built with inferior,second hand supplies, by temporary employees working out of a condemned building on the Great Malting Peninsula in Pocatello, Idaho.  We all remember what a disaster that was.  1989 (which was no picnic) looked good just because it wasn't 1988.  People were dancing in the streets, singing "Gonna party like it's 1989," which later became a very popular song for an artist who was known as Prince, then was known as an artist formerly known as Prince, but is now an artist who is known as Prince, or possibly an artist who was formerly known as an artist formerly known... Anyway, he took a good idea and made it better, and harmonious, and musical, and profitable.

There is no need to worry, though, we here at Life Explained, (#priceexplained) are committed to making 2015 a good year, no matter how much it costs, within reason, of course.  We will spare no expense, for the most part, to bring you the best available year.  We are willing to go as far as we have to, as long as it is not too far, to produce a year that will not be forgotten.  Not "not forgotten" like 1988, either.  

But, if you want to help, (and who doesn't?) we are accepting donations, anything will help.  New Year, it is a precious resource, too valuable to be wasted, too important to ignore, and too expensive to be cheap about, so give generously.

Thank you,

Life Explained.