Driving to work today we were behind a car that had personalized plates, with a purchased plate holder, and a bumper sticker. So, in a couple of miles, driving about 70 miles an hour we learned that the woman driving the car was a fan (or graduate) of the local university, who liked to have fun, and was striving to be exceptional, and drove a Honda. It was as though we were old friends.
We felt so connected to the woman in the Honda we started calling her Janet. Everybody was excited to get the chance to follow such a dynamic, fun loving sports fan as Janet to work. It would be a great way to start every day.
But, Bil, from accounting asked, "what if she just bought that stuff, what if it wasn't true?"
It was an epiphany, there was no truth in advertising for the back of a car. For all we knew the woman in the Honda was a slothful, blissfully sub average, party killing, wet blanket who despised the local university. It might have been a sham, we felt betrayed.
But it led to a conversation at the morning new product meeting. What if we had to advertise our true character and emotional states on the backs of our cars. Wouldn't the world be a much saner, safer place if you knew what the other people were really feeling.
With that in mind we would like to introduce;
THE LIFE EXPLAINED HONEST END OF CAR STICKER SYSTEM.
Everyday is different, everyday you are different, one adhesive, vinyl sheet espousing some emotional cliche cannot possibly convey the evolution, and changing condition of a person as diverse and wonderful as you, trust us.
Using a hook and loop fastener this system will allow the application of almost any state of being you can imagine. We are constantly adding new sentiments to the catalog, there is something for everyone, everyday. In a few seconds you are on your way to work, and the world will understand you a little better. Not a bad way to start the day, is it?
Why settle for canned, pat, trite generalizations when you can cover the range of potential possibilities. Humanity is diverse, wonderful, and slightly (or completely) psychotic. A car should reflect that.
Act now, and check out our complete line of "Emotional Response Stimuli Conductors" to let the world know how you are feeling, every damn day. It is your right, it is your privilege, it is your duty. And your friends, coworkers, and fellow commuters will thank you.
We are getting ready to introduce our Mass Transit Line soon so all of you bus, and train riders start hounding city officials to loosen up the purse strings, and shell out the small pile of cash to install the Early Warning Mood System. It will make it so much easier to choose the correct subway car, or bus.
Thursday, May 21, 2015
Another chance, probably wasted, to save the world. Why do we bother?
Labels: advertising, bumper stickers, buses, donuts, emotional, fragile, mass transit, salvation, subways
There is not much to say, but, for those who find any offense, please remember these are only stories, jokes, and have no relation to reality. Kind of like life.
I like life, and hope it lasts a long time, but it does require some explanation, that is why these blogs exist. To help people navigate times and events that make no sense.
Here are a few places you can find a few things.
The Original Life Explained. Where it all started, a little rambling and a lot of nothing important.
Life Explains The End Views on humanity's race to self extinction. I hope I am wrong.
Life Explains Smiles Because everybody likes it when you smile.
Life Explains Aging Getting older is not always easier, but it is worth the effort. And a few small things can make it much more pleasant.
Life Explains Traveling and Commuting Mostly commuting. Driving bugs me and working bugs me so driving to work is the ultimate insult of modern life, and I like to complain.
Life Explained Explores History. The real problem with history is there is so much of it. It is all over the place. But, if you take the time to look at the small pieces it is fascinating.
Life Explains Music Music is a universal language. I like guitar based rock and roll, but there is a little bit of a lot here.