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Saturday, November 28, 2015

A little Holiday Advice, from a Trusted Source.

Thanksgiving is over, thank God, now we can start getting ready for Christmas. Actually it is socially acceptable to begin preparations when Halloween is over. The trick is to blend Thanksgiving and Christmas into one long celebration. It is not a good idea to advertise that kind of thinking. Wiser to just kind of mumble it in. Try "Happy ThanksChristmas, here is my gift list."

Running the words together is your left jab, preoccupying your opponent, putting them off balance, making them doubt what they heard. Before they have time to regroup, question the statement you strike with the right cross! the Christmas List. All they can do is stutter a thank you, and ask what you have planned for the holidays.

Of course it is vital that your list is complete, with a spreadsheet comparing prices, at several stores, with directions to each. Phone numbers, and web site addresses are optional, but it is recommended.

Also, you want to have several lists, with different items, you don't want any of those morons you call friends, or family doubling up on that new Xbox Whatever They Call It.*

It is also important to remember that there are people who want to buy you something but are having a rough time, maybe experiencing a financial setback. Make sure there are plenty of less expensive items on there for those losers too. It is Christmas after all.

Of course, after careful consideration, and a thorough examination of my lists we might need to celebrate Happy Independence Christmas next year.

Anyway, enjoy shopping, buy lots of stuff, and don't forget to send your favorite Holiday Shopping Madness pictures to me.


* I don't suggest telling people exactly what they should give you. People can resent that.