There are only 12 days until the election. Less than 2 weeks, more than 10 days sure, but fewer than 14. In fact for the moment it is nestled safely between 11 and 13, right at 12. Both of the major party candidates have said a lot, a disturbing amount. All of it probably nothing more than "elect me hyperbole." Zahart and Clark have a plan, though.
We are going to create jobs. We are going to balance the budget. We are going to set things right. How, you ask, or would had you not been sickened by the gaseous emissions of the campaign so far. We are glad you asked, or would have asked if you had any strength left.
Our plan is simple, if you vote for us you will receive a secret code, come back here, enter the code, and we hire you as an investigator. Your job will be to investigate all of the people who don't have a code.
Of course, if enough people have the good sense to vote for us and there are not enough "investigatees" to go around we will appoint you as legal counsel for one of the foolish. Not that we are saying being foolish is a crime, and not that we are in any way implying that not voting for us is indictable, we are just only going to make everybody happy.
Honestly, lets say you were silly enough to vote for someone else wouldn't it make you feel good to have someone smart enough to vote for us defend you? Of course you would.
That sort of generosity, in the face of the bitter election cycle is what makes this country great. So get off your lazy bottom and vote. Also, if you take your secret code to Dunkin Donuts they will give you a cream filled donut with colorful sprinkles. Where else but America?
Wednesday, October 26, 2016
Vote your conscience, as long as it isn't dumb.
There is not much to say, but, for those who find any offense, please remember these are only stories, jokes, and have no relation to reality. Kind of like life.
I like life, and hope it lasts a long time, but it does require some explanation, that is why these blogs exist. To help people navigate times and events that make no sense.
Here are a few places you can find a few things.
The Original Life Explained. Where it all started, a little rambling and a lot of nothing important.
Life Explains The End Views on humanity's race to self extinction. I hope I am wrong.
Life Explains Smiles Because everybody likes it when you smile.
Life Explains Aging Getting older is not always easier, but it is worth the effort. And a few small things can make it much more pleasant.
Life Explains Traveling and Commuting Mostly commuting. Driving bugs me and working bugs me so driving to work is the ultimate insult of modern life, and I like to complain.
Life Explained Explores History. The real problem with history is there is so much of it. It is all over the place. But, if you take the time to look at the small pieces it is fascinating.
Life Explains Music Music is a universal language. I like guitar based rock and roll, but there is a little bit of a lot here.