A big adventure.

Today we are off the outlet mall. Most people don't view this as a big adventure, but I do. Mostly because it is a lot more fun that way.

We stop for breakfast, and take snacks, and pop on ice, and make a whole day or it. Which spells big trouble for the Life Explained Nation. Because you will have to live through it tomorrow. Sorry.

Here is a spoiler, look for something completely fictional, and without any relation to reality, with a small amount of real life. And some pictures of food, I love food.

Forecast high of 82, low humidity, and atmospheric conditions just short of heavenly.
Sorry, but it is kind of a tradition.

This is like a little vacation if you do it right.

An adventure in mediocrity.

Driving down the freeways of America is a great way to find out a little about yourself.  Without all of the life and civilization intruding into a trip you have time to look inward.  

This unique opportunity for introspection, this chance to examine what is important is so hard to find in today's hyperconnected, constantly plugged in world. Each of us carries ideas, thoughts, dreams, constantly bubbling subcutaneously.  Percolating, flowing, ebbing and waning, waiting to break through. Aching to be discovered. On this trip, for example, an idea came bounding through. Popping out, demanding action. 

I sprang from a packing stupor and downloaded an ecard app (appygraph, if you are interested, and for a free app it is remarkably flexible). I am going to use it to document the trip through the heartland.  I am going to post a progress report on Facebook.

I am not an artistic photographer, my hands shake too much, and my impatience, and haste force me to rush the shot, so I am going to pass the beauty and take pictures of the more ordinary. Figuring it is best to leave the beautiful, spectacular vistas, and gorgeous scenes filled with color, contrast, and all of those important artistic elements to those steady handed, rock solid, keen eyed photo geeks with their expensive cameras and multiple lenses, apertures and focal lengths walking around with bags, and straps, and light meters, acting as though they have some sort of spiritual attachment to the simple practice of pointing a machine at an object and pushing a button, like that takes some divine, instinctive talent… Oops.

Anyway, I will focus on the more average, more typical snapshots of Americana. It will be Postcards From the Mundane.  A series, by Life Explained.

At some point it will become an award winning documentary with musical accompaniment by an artist to be named later.  But, you will not to wait that long, get on the band wagon while there is still room, and the ticket price is still reasonable.

Please join us on our travels here, Our Home on Facebook.

A day in the life.

I have decided to document my life, in photos. When out and about on one of the many adventures that fill an average Life Explained day I will snap photos of things I see then post them here.

To the right are some artificial flowers from an exciting, action packed trip to Taco Bell, where we ordered off the dollar menu.  My wife and I ordered off the dollar menu, anyway.  My son had something called the steak doubledilla.  It cost quite a bit, but it was big, and came in its own box.  It was highly recommended by his friend, who should know quite a bit about food, he works at Donato's Pizza.

And here is a photo from my fun filled joy ride of an adventure to Target to buy some bottled water.  My wife gave me very specific instructions.  Buy six cases of Aquafina, it is on sale.  And, she gave me a coupon, still attached to the advertisement that would trigger an award of a five dollar gift card.  She even binder clipped a gift card to the ad, right by the coupon. I swear she thinks of me as a child.  Hey, I can take care of things, I am a grown man.

The lines were not long, and I waited my turn, patiently, I am an adult, after all. When it was my turn I walked, briskly, efficiently, calmly, in complete control, up to the register.

WHAT?  She didn't clip the coupon.  Now, I would have to tear it off, trying not to rip it in half, in front of the whole store, this was madness!  But, the young man at the register scanned the coupon, and took care of everything, before I could even start to panic, too much.  He handed me my gift card, my receipt, my new gift card, smiled reassuringly and thanked me.

I told him "wow, that was amazing, you were like a machine! That was so fast, and easy."  He thanked me, and I went to the food counter to buy a Coke and a bag of popcorn, which is kind of a ritual and my son was thought we should, so we did.

I have a theory, when you have free refills it demands a certain level of gluttony.  So, I said to my son, "here, give that glass before you put on the lid."  And I was drinking some, maybe a lot.

While I was enjoying my long, delicious drink somebody touched my shoulder from behind and said "sir, can I talk to you."  It scared the bejezus out of me.  I thought for sure they were going to make me pay for another Coke, and my mind was scrambling for a reason to drink extra pop (or soda, or cola, or whatever).  She asked me about the young man at the register, and I said he was great.  In my relief at not being harassed about my sudden, overpowering, unquenchable thirst I started talking a little too fast, and a little too much.  Fortunately I managed to stop short of telling her how much I hate shopping at Target.  I am a rock.

Then it hit me, my life is pretty dull, and considering how quickly I fly into full blown, half crazed agitation, and frenzy it is probably a good thing.  So I have decided to chronicle my life in pictures and make them seem more interesting than they are.  On the right is a picture of the artificial flowers at Taco Bell re-enacting the battle of  Anzio.  And it was pretty convincing too.  On the right is a picture of aliens getting ready to attack Target, Wal-Mart was too crowded, I guess.