A public service announcement.

Have you ever wondered how Life Explained came to be? Did you ever think this organization is so amazing I would love to have the history? Have you ever said to yourself somebody should write story of the origin of this awe inspiring company? If you haven't go ahead and take a minute, ask yourself, we will wait here.

 

 (a graphic representation of me whistling)

Now, don’t you feel better? Yes, getting to the bottom of this will help everyone. That is why I have decided to chronicle the origins of Life Explained in a book.

A book that takes you back to the early days, when there was only a man, his hyper intelligent dog, their neighbor, the underemployed, hostile, brutally attractive waitress with a flair for mechanics and a strong technical aptitude, and a keyboard player with the most silky, curly, constantly shimmering shoulder length hair, who played in a band that was right on the brink of not getting any more famous, but still making enough money to almost pay for the musical gear they were all accumulating.

A fascinating story of perseverance, skill, luck, misfortune, good fortune, and time travel with something for everyone, which is exactly who should buy this book, everyone.

I was thinking of starting a crowd funding thing to raise money, but then it occurred to me that it hasn’t really cost anything yet, and I don’t know how to start a crowd funding thing anyway.

Here is a brief excerpt,

“Hey look out.” Bob yelled just as a soccer ball flew from the trees and knocked his glass of wine onto his freshly microwaved, golden brown, perfectly warmed burrito.

Not really, that isn’t in there, yet. But it sounds like a great start to a chapter on Mongol Hordes thundering across Minnesota, which is in the book.

So, start saving your pennies, and all of your questions will be answered, all of them, about everything. What other writer is willing to make that promise?

Good news, and bad news, and some news that is neither.

Thanks to the genius of +Rahul Singh* we here have decided to document the birth, nurturing, and eventual superstar success of Life Explained. A biographical account of the meteoric rise of a man, who was reeling from the unfair excesses of the post tech boom recession, and his dog. Technically, not his dog, more like a dog and his human sidekick.

The world needs to know, and it might sell enough to pay for some beer and frozen burritos, and a microwave because nobody likes to eat a frozen burrito until it is not frozen. Take our word for that.

There is a lot of excitement about the project, everybody is choosing the actor to portray them in the eventual blockbuster movie. Bob, from accounting wants Robert Redford, or Billy Dee Williams, Bob, from Sales wants Brad Pitt, and Bob from Marketing wants Brad Pitt, and so does Bob from Building Services, and Bob from Transportation, and Brenda from Legal. Brad Pitt is going to be pretty busy. We are hoping he will have time to direct, as well.

If any of you know Mr. Pitt you might want to make sure he clears his schedule, and makes a little extra room in his bank account, he might be very wealthy after this.

We will miss you, Micro SD card.

There is some sadness as well. Today we say goodbye to the original Life Explained camera. It was a sturdy little trooper, and we did a lot of things and had a lot of fun together. But, friend of the blog, Brian loaned us the Micro SD card. Since he just got a new phone he wants it back. The bastard. What kind of man loans you something and then wants it back?

Of course, mostly we used our iPhone for pictures, and recently we got a new camera, so Life Explains carries on. And Micro SD cards aren't really that expensive, we might do a crowd funding drive to buy a new one, so keep your eyes, and wallets open. Especially you, Mr. Pitt. You have a lot to gain.

For today's video we will say hello to our new camera.

*We have to wonder how someone so young ever got so smart. We need to increase the budget for Life Explained India Office (LEIO). Maybe from nothing to something, we will talk about it at the next board meeting.

Contest!

We here at Life Explained have been researching many ways to promote the blog.  Only with the most noble intentions, of course.  Think of the lives we could irrevocably alter with increased viewership, of course, we may be able to bring in a few advertisers as well, and make a little coin off the deal, we consider that very noble.

By the way, we are still interested in a corporate stooge position if any very large, extremely profitable corporations that pay exorbitant, ridiculous salaries are interested.  We are willing to negotiate on company car and expense account, we are reasonable, after all.

Sorry, we got off track.  In an effort to increase page views, public awareness and the quality of life for the citizens of the world, we are having a contest.  Calm down, we know it is exciting, but get a hold of yourself, you are making us nervous.

After a heated debate between the legal department, accounting, marketing, the technical people, customer service the custodians, and Pipe Fitters Union 472 West London, (the Fightin' Plumbers of Central OH) (we are not sure how they got involved, but they bought some donuts and coffee so we let them take part in the decision).  It was acrimonious, but finally we decided to give away an autographed copy of our book.

We have not decided which book, yet, Sara from Marketing thinks it should be a Gothic romance novel with ghosts, and maybe pirates, but Ted the lead custodian is leaning toward "The Watchers," by Dean R. Koontz.  It will be great, whatever it is.

To enter all you need to do is guess which number we are thinking, it is between 1 and 75.  Email your guess to tweettweetjohn@yahoo.com.  We will announce the winner next Tuesday, or Wednesday, it depends on which day we can actually think of something decent to post.

Thank you, enter as often as you wish, within reason, don't just guess every number, that would be more work than it is worth, and we are not going to read them all anyway, we are way too busy.

Thank you, your dedicated Life Explained, staff.

Wouldn't that make a great movie