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Showing posts with label help. Show all posts
Showing posts with label help. Show all posts

Thursday, August 17, 2017

Starts well, ends in despair.

Variety is the spice of life, true, but it is hard to bottle. Impossible to sell, and the demand today is almost non existent. Travel almost anywhere and there is a McDonalds, and business is booming. A Big Mac will taste the same in Miami FL and Seattle WA, and everywhere in between. It isn't healthy, normally it isn't very fast and it reeks of conformity.

One of my coworkers eats the same thing for lunch every day. It makes him happy. He knows where he is going, he knows what he is going to order, no long drawn out decisions. When I go out to eat it is torture. I agonize over the menu, fish tacos or a tuna melt panini? And then the minute the wait person walks away I regret my choice. "Oh, if only I would have gone with the buffalo, blue cheese chicken grill then I could be happy." But, it wouldn't work. My sons won't even go out to eat with me anymore. Maybe they can't stand my suffering.

My wife will still go out to eat with me. She has perfected the art of refining silence. We have been married a long time and she knows when to stop listening and when to start. I can worry, and sweat, and internally debate the virtues of various side dishes and she will nod, smile and thank the gods of happiness she found someone who is so keenly aware of the potential varieties of life. Or something like that.

I know, though, outside my little bubble of indecision the world marches on. Exactly the way it
always has. Young men, children, really, are sent to die in foreign countries for reasons that defy explanation. But, it has always been that way.  So, it will always have to be that way. Dull, dreary, consistency, nothing changes. Nobody asks why.

In the building where I work there is a door we hardly ever use. It is in a shallow recess, maybe three feet deep. It is a perfect place to sleep, if you don't take into account that it is outdoors, in the middle of downtown. But, it will keep most of the wind and rain off the cardboard boxes that will soften the stern, uncaring concrete. Last week there was a man with a wheel chair that made his way up the shallow ramp and called the little man made cave home. Today there was a child, so innocent looking, so young, he should have been talking about the classes he was taking in high school. But he was sleeping outside, no where to go. It is that way every year until winter's deadly cold drives them someplace they can light fires and huddle together for warmth. Mind numbing routine, unchanging patterns of bleakness so dark most people ignore them. But, they are there, obvious, all you need to do is look. And nobody asks why?

"We can't help everyone, Tim" People tell me."We can't help anyone," is always my reply. And then I ask "why not?" and nobody can answer.

Monday, May 15, 2017

Homelessness, an epidemic.

Fair warning, this is a reprint of an article the kind people at Street Speech published. More fair warning, if you are looking for my normal foolishness, you might want to take a pass, this is depressing stuff. If you are feeling a little too cheerful for a Monday, by all means, continue.

What happens when the system fails? How do you describe the worst possible outcome of the atrophy of a dream? It is easy to picture a catastrophic collapse, one final attempt as the circle fails to come around, a horrible vision where all of the moving parts slow before stopping completely. At least there is the almost romantic vision of a shared disaster. But, it doesn’t happen that way. It is a thousand small failures, the system sustains itself. But, it leaves parts behind, people who can’t find a fit. It leaves them homeless, living on the street, forgotten by almost everybody.

Of course, it is easy to overlook the failure when it is so third person, so distant. When you add a hint of mental illness, and possibly addiction all of the sudden it is almost predestined. Wash your hands, walk away, thinking there was nothing that could be done. However, there are no villains in this story. Only the unfortunate few who have suffered so much.

According to Greendoors.org (an organization striving to provide homes for those in need) 643,067 people are homeless in America on an average day. A horrifying number. Greater than the population of Wyoming. An epidemic that has swept across the country. It is not limited to metropolitan centers, rural areas, suburbs, all face the same crisis.

Breaking down the numbers, a bit further, Greendoors.org states 238,110 of these homeless people are in families. Children, without a home. According to the National Center on Family Homelessness, 2.5 million children are homeless every year. The most fragile component of our society, without a roof over their heads. Again, according to National Center on Family Homelessness, there are homeless children in every state, county, and city in our country.

Even if the people can enroll a child in school, no mean accomplishment, true education requires the building of a relationship between students and teachers. Students require a level of comfort with their classmates. A classroom requires a nurturing environment, a sense of trust, of continuity, long term relationships, only possible through stable family housing.

According to the Urban Institute family stress and instability can have deep and lasting impacts on children’s physical, emotional, and cognitive development. These children are being put through a meat grinder from which they may never recover. And if they do think of the scars left by nights of being cold, hungry, and afraid.

Personally, I have seen a small family, mother, father, son, gathering up their belongings, the chill of the morning causing their breath to steam white, as they shake the frost from their meager collection of blankets, and bags, packing up and moving along while they can still pretend it is a choice. Knowing full well that soon it will not be voluntary. And I thought, how can this happen? But, these people often have no choice. Recent studies indicate that nowhere in the US can a person working forty hours at a minimum wage job afford a single bedroom apartment at fair market rent.

In many cases, mental illness drags people into the tight grip of helpless despair. Greendoors.org estimates that 25% of homelessness is caused by this scourge. Living on the street is the only option for people with those demons. According to NationalHomeless.org mental illness denies people the ability to form lasting relationships, forces them to misinterpret guidance, and push away caregivers. Unable to care for themselves, or maintain a home they are left with only one option, the street. The street never turns anybody away.

It is an awful sight, on my daily strolls through downtown, watching a poor man digging cigarette butts out of public ashtrays. Smoking is bad, but this is worse. It is the only time I wished I hadn’t quit smoking, so I could give this poor man a cigarette.

The foundation of humanity is built on the love of fellow man, and the cracks and crumbling are obvious when you see these poor lost souls wandering alone in such terrible darkness in the glaring light of day. Even if these people were given homes they would not be able to master the basic skills needed to sustain even the most basic of homes without help through improved mental health care for the poor.

Domestic violence often drives victims to a life on the streets. According to the National Need to End Domestic Violence up to 57% of all homeless women report that domestic violence is the immediate cause of their homelessness. Moreover, 38% of all victims of domestic violence become homeless at some point in their life. Victims are forced to choose between the certain violence at home and the potential violence of the lonely life scrounging for change for on the sidewalks.

Evicted because of disturbances that left them battered and in no small way broken, they are left with no money, no home, and no hope. Going from bad to bad, life as a constant, an equation of agony with no solution.

Sometimes they are only children, late teens, early twenties. Sitting, legs crossed, a little sign laid across their knees plaintively asking for anything, any small donation. Sometimes you can see the bruises, sometimes you can’t, but you know they are there. Bruises that go beyond the motley, dark purple, green, and yellow blue. Bruises that will never heal, that you will never see, painful, permanent tattoos of betrayal.

I walk the streets, and I see. It is almost like walking through parallel dimensions on my lunch break. In one dimension are the people carrying purses, brief cases, carrying bags of hot carry out food, talking about a trip to Put-In-Bay, oil changes, the need for an effective method to combat crabgrass. All normal, routine, samples cut from the fabric of American life. On the B side are the lonely, the forgotten, carrying ratty back packs, wearing stocking caps, and jackets. There is something about sleeping on concrete, or asphalt, it drains the warmth from a person and never returns, not completely. When you look in their eyes you see the sorrow, the pain, suffering, the simple statement, “you could never imagine how tired I am.”

You can’t just walk away from a look like that. You carry it with you as you rush away to the safety of life. But you never really walk away at all. It goes with you. If you can’t take pity on these poor souls, these lost, lonely wraiths you have never really looked into their eyes at all.

Life goes on without slowing, but, there is hope, it will take everybody, our elected officials, our communities, our churches. It won’t be easy, but what choice do we have?


Friday, April 8, 2016

This has been a public service announcement, #FixThePlus

Blogging is similar to a public service announcement. A blogger announces something to the public, who normally ignores it. And then the cycle starts over again. I could write they are giving away omelets at the Embassy Suites in La Vista NE* and nobody would pay much attention. This makes me kind of like a public servant, so I am going on break, and will be back in fifteen minutes, plus the time it takes me to walk to the break room, nobody is getting over on me.**

The point is being ignored is a uniquely powerful manifestation of modern technology. No longer am I being ignored by my family, friends, and coworkers. Well, they are still ignoring me, but thanks to the wonders of the world wide web they have been joined by powerful people around the globe. World leaders, great thinkers, scientists. philosophers, poets, people of every type are not reading this right now.

My voice is a beacon of hope that is echoing unheard throughout the universe! If there is life on other planets they are paying no attention to what I have to say. I am as anonymous in the far reaches of the Milky Way as I am on Earth. Imagine the power.

If there is an afterlife they have no idea what I am going on about on a daily basis. Ghosts, spirits,
angels, zombies, vampires and werewolves are not aware of this blog and the secrets it holds. And these are creatures with a lot of time on their hands.

With that in mind, "they are giving away dollar bills on the corner of third and main. hurry before they are gone.

This has been a public service announcement.



* Only if you are an overnight guest, though, or use the secret password "IAmAnOvernightGuest."  keep it secret, please.

** Just kidding, I have nothing but respect for public servants, particularly the fine people of the DMV who have so far managed to ignore my keen sense of humor, and glare with stony indifference to my inspired jokes about dressing up and combing my hair for the picture on my drivers license, that kind of discipline is inspirational.

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

The Results Are In.

Today, I have good news and bad news.  the good news is, the results of the Facebook Psychological Tests are in and according to the reports I am completely normal, well adjusted, and average in almost every way.


The bad news is, you may have a few problems.  I don't want to go into any details, but according to Facebook you might be full goose bozo, and they would like me to ask if you are still taking your medication.

According to preliminary reports, and these are still being collated, and analyzed, you are not dangerous, at least not too dangerous, but if you could give a responsible person all of your knives, letter openers, scissors, and your shoelaces, and the drawstrings from your sweatpants that might be a good idea.

Also, they wanted you to know that a haircut might not be a bad idea, and maybe a new shirt or two.  Plus, you might be a little too old to be eating Cap'n Crunch for dinner, and lunch, and a snack.

Facebook does want you to know they do love you, and are only telling you these things to help, feeling it is so much better to hear it from an old friend than some new kid, like Pinterest, or Yelp, who may not care about your feelings.

Facebook would like me to tell you, together we can get through this, stronger, better, and a lot less crazy, if you are willing to put forth just a little effort.  They did their part, right?

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Say hello to Frank, a new friend.

I warned you that this month was going to be a long, sometimes terrible, sometimes boring tribute to me, all because I quit smoking.  Here is the first post, it is about a man I admire, a lot.

There are many reasons people smoke, none of them justify the prohibitive cost, or, the enormous risk.  Yes, there are people who live long, more or less healthy lives smoking.  And there are people who survive train wrecks, plane crashes and gunshot wounds, who wants to roll those dice?

Smoking was a friend, to me, an old, dear friend, who was always there, as long as I had the money, and a light, and a place to smoke, that was all that was needed.  There are people who would dispute this, and say, "well, it was only a chemical reaction triggered by the addictive toxins in the smoke."  Maybe, but, hey, they should get their own blog.

Anyway, if I wanted to quit, one key would be to replace an old friend, with some new friends.  I did this by joining a smoking cessation forum.  It was a great place, and offered unlimited support, and sound, researched advice and methods all designed to help you succeed.

In the forum, you join a group of people who quit the same month as you, and that becomes your main line of help, though there are plenty of other options, and most people take advantage of more than one.  In my group, there was a gentleman, named Frank, he was like the guardian angel of our little family.

Frank seemed to be omnipresent, when somebody was going through difficulty here came Frank.  A few kind words, a small bit of advice, and a breath of fresh air, delivered with the compassion of Alan Alda, with the brevity of John Wayne.  We all admired Frank.  He was the man.

I had to know more, so I read his first post, and looked into his forum past a little.  It turns out smoking has cost Frank almost everything.  But, you couldn't tell.  I will not go into his health, mostly out of respect for the man.  But, I will say, with all he has been through and goes through his offers of friendly support and advice are even more amazing.

Some time ago Frank started a journal on the forum, where he talks about the costs associated with smoking, costs he understands so well.  His posts are powerful, and his pain comes through in elegant, short sentences, delivering reason after reason after reason to quit smoking.  There is no end to the dangers of smoking, and most of them have visited Frank, and when he details them, people listen.  His suffering and pain, offered as incentive.

He shares his agony, and his fears so freely to help others.  And then he apologizes, he does not want to sound like a complainer.  But, people respond to Frank, he is an icon on the forum now, and I consider him a friend and an inspiration.