Who won the debate, It was me.

Everybody knows I am not very politically involved. I know people who are and they are always pretty bitter. From what I have seen the choice of elected officials is almost wholly unrelated to the life of the average person. Probably to those above average, or even those who fall below the "average" mark.

Politicians are almost universally repugnant, and in my opinion, are the standard bearers for "the below average crowd." I don't think they are evil, or ignorant, but they have something, some genetic defect, some mental aberration causing them to seek the spotlight, and take abuse and criticism all while knowing they are powerless to change anything. Moreover, they are willing to say almost anything to for the privilege.

Obviously, I don't often watch the debates. Last night I made the mistake of changing to the program. It was a "town hall" style debate  where the "moderators" could pretend that people had asked questions, and the candidates are given two minutes to answer. It is addictive, once you tune in you cannot look away.

After watching for a while I was struck by one overriding, powerful concern. How can two minutes last that long? It took forever! Bob Dylan's famous line came to mind, "the next sixty seconds could be like an eternity."

"Madam Secretary, we have a question from a D. Trump. He would like to know how you intend to email ISIS out of existence?"

"Good question, I would like to get to the bottom of this once and for ever..." and forty five minutes later she is still talking about Putin, hackers, and presidential demeanor.

"Mr. Trump, we have a question from a B. Clinton, and he would like to know about your tax returns for the past 10 years?"

"I would bomb ISIS, and anybody else, anywhere, Let me tell you something, something big, something important about ISIS, it was Obama, and Al Gore who created the Climate Change Myth, so they could invest in China, who created ISIS to buy Chinese goods..." and it went on and on.

Two questions later, my coffee maker (set for 4:45 AM) started brewing the life giving elixir. My wife got up and said, "so, what did you learn?"

"I don't know, but I have a great idea for sci-fi movie. It just came to me, about 3:00 this morning." It is getting kind of fuzzy now, I probably should have written it down. No worries, there is another debate coming.

I am announcing my intention to announce my candidacy, at some point, anyway.

Look, there is not a lot of activity on the ol' Presidential Campaign trail.  This has really dampened spirits around Life Explained.  With both parties searching for a candidate there should be mounting tension, bitter sniping, and general blame and immature, petty finger pointing.  Enough for even the most jaded observer.  Things are sadly lacking.  Sadly.

Except for one fellow, one lone, brave Texan, the field is barren.  And, I don't want to alarm anybody here, but I read where Ted Cruz accused Ted Cruz of being a liberal, tax and spend, tree hugging, pantie waist.  Naturally, Ted Cruz fired right back, defending his record on tax cuts, and the use of government shutdown as a cost saving measure, even going so far as to challenge Ted Cruz to an a series of televised debates.  It seems politicians are born to this behavior.

Anybody who has been paying attention could tell you the American Political landscape is more divided and disastrous than ever.  There is no safe haven for candidates anymore.  Party affiliation means nothing.  Factions have become the battleground in what is rapidly becoming a guerilla war for presidency.

In many ways presidential campaigns are the ultimate explanation of the human experience.  It starts nobly enough.  A person who wants to help, and is willing to sacrifice so much in an effort to guide the country he loves.  What could be more pure?  But, as time marches on, and the atrocities of campaigning strip away the thin veneer of civilization true humanity, in its most fundamental form begins to claw and tear its way through.  Not unlike the classic scene in the thrilling expose "Heavy Metal" when Hannover Fiste recants his testimony on behalf of Captain Lincoln F. Sterne.  Beginning with a thoughtful, considered defense of the Captain's character, and eventually explaining that the captain was so reprehensible he "should be torn into little bitsy pieces and buried alive."  Ultimately, offering to do the job himself.  So goes the campaign, in the end it becomes a vicious game of last man standing.  Battle hardened, weary, and filled with rage, but standing.  Only a fool would rush into that, or a person who feels the call of destiny.    

This might explain why the field is still so bleak.  If you declare early you need to pursue the base, the extreme, and the moderate.  It requires a balancing act, a unicycle ride, across a mine field, while juggling broken bottles, filled with burning gasoline.  There are many who find this activity unappealing.  

If you are willing to wait, and jump in more toward the end of the campaign, you can be more focused, and tailor your message toward the side that seems to be winning.  Safer for your reputation, but it is calculated. You have less chance of alienating most of the voting population, but it is possible that voters will say "who is that guy?"  

It would be similar to rushing in at the last minute of a robbery, jumping on the robbers back, wrestling him to the ground, and listening to the applause.  But, in that scenario somebody who was there may have already disabled the gunman, and you will look foolish, busting down the door to save the day.  A day that has already been saved.  Plus, you will have to pay for the door.  

Obviously, politics in our world have become a matter of timing, substance means little.  Substance is probably a liability.  Anything of substance is bound to have a grating effect on somebody.  Better to be everything to everybody, at just the right time.

With that in mind, I would like to announce my exploratory, bi partisan, focus group to decide when I should announce my candidacy for the office of President.  It seems like the hope for a dramatic ground swell of dissatisfaction driving a grass roots write in victory might have been a little optimistic.  Americans love to innovate, as long as someone else does it.  We will be testing the waters, and when the wind is favorable, and the time is right, pow, we will be there.  

Until then go ahead and take a long, hard look at that Cruz guy.  Ask yourself why he has changed his name, and so drastically altered his appearance "Top Gun?"  Normally, that is not a presidential trait.  But, you can decide, we hope.

Choosing Is Hard, Let Us Do It For You.

Life is a long trip down a difficult path, and there are a lot of choices to be made.  Each decision has consequences.  Most times, though, those are hidden, and it is only after the path has been chosen does the payment come due.  It is really an awful way to live.  

Meeting the what seems to be the perfect person, dating, proposing, or being proposed to, brings joy, there is no time things have looked brighter, or happier.  Turns out your spouse seems to have the disposition of the antichrist, and the personal hygiene of a skunk, but the contract has been signed, anointed by God, and approved by the state.  Being married to a person you can't stand makes a person angry, and less concerned about cleanliness. Dang, that was a bad choice.  

A dream job appears, chasing it consumes a person.  A resume filled with lies, and false achievements, dreamy accomplishments, and fictional duties and responsibilities, who wouldn't hire that person?  But, all of those skills are needed for this position, it is demanding and beyond the scope of the applicant, turning the boss into a hateful, loathsome caricature of a human.  Incomplete responsibilities, unmet expectations and a slothful performance can have that effect on a person.  But, leaving the last job burned too many bridges, and this is life for a while, bad idea.

Walking blindly through life is frightening.  Knowing that mistakes are going to be made is probably not much reassurance.  We here at Life Explained are here to help.

Welcome to the Life Explained University.  Where, for the small fee of $25.00 a month (17 Celsius), we will teach you to make decisions based on The Scientific Principle of Absolute Certainty.   Please, examine the chart below about making the decision to buy a dog.

Should I buy a dog?

Of course this is a very simple option, much easier than deciding whether you should run for President, for example.  We can help you make that choice.  I think we all know who needs our help with that choice, don't we?  Give us a call, of course it will be a little more than the $25.00 fee, but, it is a tough choice, one that requires a lot of circles, boxes, and lines.

You see, presidential hopefuls come to us for help deciding if they should run, if they have any brains at all, which is not a requirement for public office.  You could use our help, too.  In fact, looking at your Facebook page, you should enroll, quickly.  Before it is too late.