Technology, Decisions and the Government

Nothing is easy. We got a new iPad Pro for Christmas. We don’t really have computers, the iPad is enough. More than enough in many ways. I can do anything I want on my iPad, more than I want, really, sometimes not as much as I should, if you get my drift. I need a keyboard, though, and it it between the Logitech Slim Combo, and the Apple Smart Keyboard. 

I know there are people who hate Apple and I have no quarrel with that. I know there are people who hate Microsoft, and I’m ok with that, too.

In fact, I read a theory that Bill Gates is secretly funding a program (pogrom?) to reduce the population to a more sustainable level. It provided a number, though I don’t remember what it was, and I assume it provided a reason, but I didn’t read the whole thing, just the tag line. It seems a little suspect that a man who made his fortune selling software to the masses is trying to eliminate the largest majority of his market. 

I’m sure there are people who hate Google, and I can live with that. I don’t know much about Google. I do “google” things but mostly I use Safari, or Microsoft Edge. I still call it “googling.” I hope that isn’t violating some copyright law. I did see thee the big Kahuna from Google, I can’t think of his name, facing the Senate version of an inquisition. Which really turned into a partisan free for all and blame fest, which accomplished nothing but made for excellent facebook videos. It is hard for a minor associate of a small company (me) to say how much responsibility is carried on the shoulders of the CEO of Google, but he had to find the whole thing an enormous waste of time. I was impressed with the dignity and restraint he showed during the circus, though.

There are a lot of people who hate Facebook, too. My friend, who has never had a Facebook account, told me that “Facebook is for sheeple.” I’m not sure how he formed this opinion, or what the qualifications for inclusion into sheeplehood are, but I like Facebook. I think I might like it more if it was only a little better, and maybe I just don’t understand how to make it work. Sometimes I see things I don’t want to see, and sometimes I see things that make me smile. I’m just not sure there is enough balance. But, I do remember when the CEO of Facebook had to face a congressional grilling.  I thought he handled it very well. 

It wasn’t that long ago, thinking back, that congress “looked” into performance enhancing drugs being used by Major League Baseball players. Man, they gave them a good what for. Thank God our government is on the job. Think of how bad things could be if they weren’t taking care of all the important stuff. 

Anyway, I think I will go with the Logitech Slim Combo. Mostly because of the backlit keys, and I do somethings the morning or in the evening. Thanks for helping me decide.

Top Ten List for 2014, installment 1, maybe.

New Years Eve is almost here.  2014 is almost over and 2015 is coming fast.  It is always exciting to start something new, but, there is a a sense of melancholy involved in saying good bye to something that has been around for a whole year.  2014 provided a lot of entertainment, and some very notable accomplishments, and it is time we look at our top ten.*

10.  The movie "Frozen."  We didn't see it, true, but so many people enjoyed the Disney offering that it had to be good, and we hate to be left out of conversations.  Today we are going to buy the Cliff Notes "Frozen," and brush up on this enchanting movie, and all of the wonderful songs, and the gripping story, and characters.  So, if you want to talk about what a great movie it was, we are ready, or will be by this evening.

9.  Pharrell Williams, singer, song writer, and seemingly all around decent guy.  While it is true we don't actually own any of his music, that song "Happy" is delightful.  Ok, we have never heard the whole thing, but what we have heard has made us... well... Happy.  In fact one of our new years resolution is to listen to the whole song, perhaps even buying it, and we are sure it costs $1.29 and we have vowed never to spend more than $0.99, we may make an exception.  But, don't get your hopes too high, Pharrell.  Another plus during an interview we saw, he seems to possess an extraordinary temperament, and be genuinely a nice person.  Our hats are off to you, Mr. Williams, by the way, we are a little envious of your expansive assortment of hats.

8.  Apple vs. Google. vs. Microsoft.  We are not technical enough to have a favorite, but the constant need to one up each other has given us most of the cool things of the 21st century.  We love cool things.

7.  American politics.  Sure, it is an odious, despicable spectacle, and it seems to destroy any semblance of humanity in anybody foolish enough to be elected it makes for the best kind of comedy.  Tragedy.  So, thank you, please, don't give up.

6.  The European Space Agency, who landed a refrigerator sized object on a comet, or meteor, we are not sure which.  Now, if they can land a big screen television sized object, a couch sized thing, and a microwave sized apparatus we will have all the makings of a Super Bowl Party sized organism forming spontaneously.  Now, that is science.

* Some of these things may have been from before 2014.  If there are any chronological errors, please let us know in the comments section, and we will use a time machine to correct reality.  We hate being wrong.

Another Crisis Averted.

Look, I don't want to complain, but there is something troubling happening here on Google, Blogger.  Someone seems to have runoff with my password, and has added a bunch of pointless, meaningless posts.  Worse still, they seem to have made use of Dr. Dawg's Time Machine and gone backward to add these rambling, almost incoherent wastes of time over the last several years.

I would like to jump ahead and see what kind of idiocy they post in the future, but it would probably be more embarrassment than a person should have to endure.

This is awful!  Suppose I try to get a job, or start a business, or borrow money from a bank, or buy a house, or retire to a nice, sunlit community in rolling hills of Tennessee.  What then, what will these people think when they see my name tied to such incoherent, mindless drivel?!?!?!

Oh, I'm glad that crisis has passed.  Thank you Dr. Dawg.  How is the Presidential Campaign looking?

You Are Here, Please Go Over There.

Following is an item from The Hindu, an English Language Indian Newspaper with a large circulation base in Southern India, founded in 1878.

"Apple has bought the indoor GPS mapping firm wifiSLAM for 20 million dollars, The Wall Street Journal reported on Monday, in a move seen as a challenge to Google’s dominance of mobile mapping software.

WifSLAM’s technology could allow Apple to pinpoint the location of users inside buildings to within 2.5 metres — an asset that could be valuable to advertisers wishing to target mall shoppers.

Google already has an extensive catalogue of public floor plans which it used to map the interior of public buildings for users of its Google Maps service.

Apple tried to challenge the dominance of Google Maps when it released its own mapping software with the launch of the iPhone 5 and iOS 6 last year. However the software was widely criticized for being inaccurate and confusing and Apple was forced to issue an apology to users and recommend using third-party products."

There are many who see this as a creepy, big brother style invasion of privacy, while others see it as a blatant intrusion of direct and immediate marketing. More likely, this is the final piece of the puzzle. A technological implement that will transform the iPhone from a toy with a few useful applications for real life into the all encompassing, shining beacon of hope that everyone has dreamed about for so long.

Imagine, a trip to the mall, and a stop in the bathroom that lasts a little too long. A kind voice, nestled warmly in pocket or purse, says "Probiotic yogurt is on sale this week at Piggly Wiggly, five for $7.00." Thank you, Siri.

It is impossible to calculate the times a person has gone out, in public, wearing something that was not appropriate for their age, or size, or the occasion. Now, when they are shopping a stern voice will warn, "buying that shirt will be the biggest waste of money, and quite possibly cause the most embarrassment since your Junior year, maybe you should go look at the XXL Polo shirts."

Imagine the ease of saving money when one knows that Siri is going to say, sarcastically, "Are you sure you should be buying that, considering the amount you owe on your Visa Card?" the minute you get to front of the long line, filled with judgmental, smug, gainfully employed jerks.

People who are carrying around a few extra pounds will finally have the help they need to shed that extra weight, imagine the power of Siri shrieking "PUSH YOURSELF AWAY FROM THE TABLE, YOU FAT BASTARD."  Healthy, happy living through electronics.

Of course, it would be impolite to report what the iPhones say to each other, and would probably hurt a lot of people's feelings. But, this is one more step toward the complete reliance on technology and machinery for which mankind has been longing.