Health is important, but what about free will?

It is Saturday, and rainy, and early, and I am up, heading for my second cup of coffee. There was a study that indicated five cups of coffee every day was optimal for your health.  It may have been dis-proven since then, it is hard to say, but, we here at Life Explained didn't care.  We had taken it as gospel, as incontrovertible proof of a kind, gentle higher being, a caring, loving deity concerned only with our welfare.

There was a mad dash to buy bigger "cups."  Imagine our dismay when we found out mugs, and cups could be completely different. Imagine the crushing heartache when we discovered a cup was not a generic term applied to any bucket sized jug of sweet, glorious, French Roast. Consider the despair when we learned that some of our new coffee "cups" actually held 5 1/2 cups of coffee.

A few of the more aggressive among us were approaching 19 cups of coffee a day, and some of them were fighting over almost anything. An uncontrollable white rage that would burn white hot for a few minutes and turn into weeping, apologizing and remorse. It was hard to believe this was "healthy."

We had to hire a security company to monitor our coffee, making sure everybody got 5 cups, no more, no less.

It got a little tense when we discovered some of us just don't care for coffee.  After an armed standoff in the 5th floor break room, when Bob refused to drink his 5th cup, saying he would rather "die early than drink one more cup of this swill."

After a few tense hours, some exchange of small arms fire, and reinforcements from Jet Propulsion Laboratory besieging the compound (those scientists really stick together), we decided that forcing people to drink 5 cups of coffee a day may not be that healthy after all. Maybe people would be happier and healthier if they could drink what and how much they choose.

We bought some tea, some bottled water, and people seem a lot happier. But, there is news that red wine will help people live longer.  That is a bit of health news we can really support, thank goodness for research.

Coffee, Our Light Against the Gathering Darkness #hotdrinkday

Coffee, the nectar of the gods, the staff of life. For years the world has been enjoying the fruits of the coffee plant. It has become endemic, a part of culture, a ritual involving friends, couples, co-workers, acquaintances, total strangers, all coming together enjoy the rich, dark roasted beans, ground to varying degrees of perfection, and brewed into a cup of delightful, caffeinated, heavenly elixir. And now, this wonderful, life giving drink is under attack from tea drinkers, across the Atlantic, I guess we always knew it would end up this way, didn't we? With the British attacking one of our greatest institutions, again.*

I have a friend, who lives in Ireland, but she used to live in Germany, after she lived in Scotland, that is, but before Scotland she lived in London, I think, any none of that matters, what is important, she has had the opportunity to sample many nations, including tea, in the United Kingdom, which she enjoyed, quite a bit, but the drink of which she spoke most glowingly, Italian Coffee. She spoke, fondly of the pleasant aroma, the dark, rich colors, and the exquisite taste as she sipped from her demitasse, in the ancient heart of the Roman Empire, a moving, historic experience, brought to you by coffee.

Opening a fresh can, and the aroma feels the kitchen, the entire house with a fragrance, powerful, and intoxicating. Even people who don't drink coffee (and here I am thinking of my wife, who enjoys Diet Coke) have to admit it is the most pleasant of aromas. When you put it in a basket, press, or filter and run hot water over it, the aroma becomes almost magical, almost terrifying in its power. It draws the weary, it calls to the faithful, it is a morning ceremony, an afternoon reward, and an evening libation. Coffee, all things to all people.

In my house there is a coffee maker that has a normal pot, and a single serve "K-Cup" brewer. No matter what taste you are in the mood for, one cup, or twelve, it takes in the raw ingredients, and dispenses them, hot, delicious, and ready to please. It is an ingenious machine designed, manufactured and distributed the Hamilton Beach™ company, true giants of innovation (#lifeexplainedJ is still looking for corporate sponsorship if anybody from the Hamilton Beach Co. happens across this post, and I love your coffee maker, and coffee).

 Plus, I have a coffee grinder, (also a Hamilton Beach™… Ok I just made that up, I don't know what brand it is™, but it could be a Hamilton Beach®) and a "French Press" in case the desire for something a little different strikes. Unfortunately, I still have not figured out how to use the French Press the desire needs to be a gritty cup of very strong coffee, but hope springs eternal in the world of coffee drinkers.

Take a stroll down the coffee aisle at the local grocery store. French roast, Italian roast, Sumatran, Arabian, Columbian, Hawaiian, Java, that is not counting Russian coffee, Irish coffee, (trust me, the list goes on almost without end) coffee is like the United Nations of hot drinks. Coffee could bring the world together, one cup at a time. Imagine if we stopped bickering, sat down and shared a cup of coffee, things always look better when viewed through the steam rising from a fresh cup of coffee.

Not in the mood for a traditional "cup o' joe," though, as is obvious from the earlier paragraphs there is no single, traditional, cup of coffee, no worries, my friend. Just grab an iced, caramel macchiato, or a chocolate mocha, or if the time of year is right, wrap your coffee lovin' mitts around a pumpkin spice, or a peppermint, latte. Coffee, the morning drink that, when prepared properly, provides a day's worth of calories.

Coffee is a drink that has served the armed services, the Hollywood elite, the Wall Street, and Main Street. Coffee is a versatile drink, it helps make you alert, or calm you down, depending on your needs. It has a taste that is indescribable, and diverse. It brings people together, fosters and nourishes ideas, and provides nourishment, and sustenance, to the mind and the soul. "Coffee is the number one drink in the world, everybody drinks it, even little kids in Mexico drink coffee… it is the lifeblood that drives the dream of champions." Iron Mike Ditka in Kicking and Screaming. That is Super Bowl Champion Coach Iron Mike Ditka, what other proof do you need?

For the Defense of Tea, please read the fantastically entertaining Blog of Thog, a writer without compare, and a tea drinker +Mike Raven!

*Just kidding, I love the British, the Welsh, the Scottish (mmm, Scotch Whisky) all of the United Kingdom. I had no part in throwing the tea in the harbor.
** I know, it was from the movie "Kicking and Screaming" but I never let a little fiction stand in the way of making a point, and as far as any of us know, that is exactly how Iron Mike feels, who wants to question a guy with nickname "Iron Mike?"

 

 

Vanity, It Looks Good On You.

As many of you know, I am not a very good driver.  Normally I have a lot of things running through my mind. Many important things, that are consuming a lot computational cycles.  Plus, there is always the terrible decision of which song to listen to next, and a little light hearted banter with Siri.  Also, there are infinite distractions.  All over the route to and from work, there are diversions, and eye catching side shows, and fantastic scenes begging to be noticed.

Lately there have been an unusual number of vanity plates.  Each one deserves a little attention.  That is the whole purpose behind having a little something extra put on your license plate, it is asking to be noticed.

Plate Enhanced Through Top Secret Technology.

Of course it is difficult to take a decent picture while driving 65 miles an hour, and dodging all of the crazy people out there.  Honestly, the roads are filled with crazy people, weaving in and out of traffic, talking on the phone, and being a potential hazard.  It is amazing that I have lived this long.  Anyway, I saw this vanity plate, and it reminded me of the big showdown this weekend with +Mike Raven.  Over at the Tea drinkers r' us.And, I thought it was kind of a sign, maybe drinking tea was ok.

But then this happened, and I changed my mind.  I think I will stick to coffee.  Care for a spot of tea, anyone?

Hey, can you help a dog in need?

This is my friend, the dog, at work.  As is obvious from this picture he is a good looking dog, and pretty darned smart, too.  He is also very friendly, and is really just a lot of fun to be around, a good friend, indeed.  But, he lacks basic verbal skills that are crucial to successful understanding, he can't talk.  And sometimes he looks at me, with those expressive, intelligent eyes, and I can't help but wonder what he is thinking.  

Now, through the miracle of the, patent pending, Life Explained Dog Thought Visualization DeviceÔ we can see what is on his mind.  As you can see, he is thinking of a nice, foamy delicious latte, with a wolf pattern.  What a delicious, delightful, way to start your day. 

Of course, we are all thinking a little more about coffee these days, knowing that +Mike Raven from the The Blog of Thog! is amassing an army of tea drinkers, a mob of tea drinkers, (I am not sure whether a large, potentially violent group of tea drinkers would be an army, a mob, a swarm, a pack or a gang, any advice here would be greatly appreciated, thank you), and they are bent on world domination.  And somebody needs to take a stand.  

It is time for everybody to take a stand.  So rush over here and voteVote early, vote often, and come up with a compelling reason why your drink of choice should be chosen by everyone, everywhere, all the time.  Use the hashtag #HOTDRINKDAY, even if you want something cold, and refreshing, we are not fussy.

Remember, it is your duty.

Monday, It Stands Humble Before Me.

This morning I overslept, not tragically, but enough that things were in a little bit of a bind, a little stressed, there was an undercurrent of anger thrumming through our normally peaceful morning.  No worries, a cool, calm demeanor, a little charm, a couple of well timed jokes, and everything was running like a well tuned machine.  In short, I was as cool as could be, in the immortal words of Jerry Garcia, "check my pulse, it don't change, stays 72 come shine or rain."*  As usual, everyone in the family was in awe of the self assured, calm, cool father figure in the eye of the storm.

Of course, the drive to work was touch and go, there was an accident on a freeway ramp to downtown on the north side of the city.  This has the fallout effect of sending additional commuters (interlopers) on the freeway from the north east corner of town, my route.  It is a sad reality of life, when there is a multiple car accident, cars strewn across the highway, and the first thought in most cases is "Oh man, this is going to ruin my drive to work."

No problem, though, there is enough road for everybody, almost.  And things were going smoothly, in the fast lane, cruising.  A car changed lanes, right in front of me!  No worries, it is a Volkswagon, a car from the land of the lawless Autobahn, the wild west of driving experiences, you know this guy is going to keep pace, he is going to move.  Nope, he putts along in painful observance of the posted speed limit.  Oh well, I still got to work.

But, it made me think we stereotype cars, too much.  Like the American automaker whose name sounds similar to Blue Ink.  For the sake of this post let's just call the car BlueInk.  During the commercials for BlueInk, actors are confused by the fact other actors are driving a BlueInk, because the car looks nothing like a BlueInk.  "I don't see a BlueInk," they will say, with dismay.  It is in many ways a risky gambit, in essence saying "buy one of our cars, they aren't ugly anymore."  Of course, they still look like BlueInk cars to me, but I am not a car guy, and can only recognize brands by the loge, stuck right on the front.

To end this rambling, incoherent post here is a picture of delicious, wonderful, delightful coffee.  It is too bad you can't smell the aroma through your monitor, it like a gift from Heaven.  Don't forget that next Sunday is the ultimate tea vs coffee showdown.  You should post, tweet, videotape or whatever it is that you call adding things to Facebook, using the hashtag #HOTDRINKDAY.

This is too important to leave in the hands of world leaders, who are generally making a mess of things (more on this later, maybe, if I can't think of anything more pleasant to write about).  And don't forget to vote, at Choose Coffee, all of the other choices are jokes and will send a small electrical current through your keyboard, not enough to kill you, probably.   And you can thank +Mike Raven at the The Blog of the Thog for that.   It might lead to international tension, and increased hostility, and you can have a say in it, won't that be cool?



*In an effort to receive a Triple A Bond Rating from Standard and Poors (motto, we may be standard but we sure aren't poor) I am disclosing the following, "I don't know who wrote 'U.S. Blues,' but am confident, more or less that it was Jerry Garcia singing.

Tea vs Coffee, It Is Time To Choose!

At the risk of straining the relations of two countries whose history are so closely associated, two countries whose history is a rich tapestry of cooperation and friendship, a blissful stroll through the making of the modern world (I am ignoring the whole revolutionary bit, because it doesn't support my opening sentence) we are going to answer the question that has been torturing modern society. Which is better, coffee or tea?  The world will finally have an answer, maybe, the world will finally know peace, possibly.

Since this is only the latest in a long series of confrontations between Mr. Raven, at The Blog of Thog, and us, here at Life Explained, (all of which have been great fun, and provided valuable knowledge to a world filled with useless information, for proof of that you only need to watch this touching, thoughtful explanation of the delicate subtleties of football, as played around the world), Mike thought, in a startling flash of brilliance, that we should invite dissenting, or supporting decisions from around the world.

You can start by voting here.  then write a blog post, record a pod cast, tweet, produce a video, or send an email to everybody, everywhere, telling them about the debate, and your choice, stand on the top of a mountain and scream your love for your hot drink of choice, which doesn't technically have to be coffee, or tea, please use the hash tag #HOTDRINKDAY or have the person video taping you screaming your choice from the top of the mountain use the hast tag #HOTDRINKDAY, and link all of your hard work to these blogs.  Which go live next Sunday, November 2nd, 2014 at 3:00 PM in Hull, or 11:00 AM in Ohio.   That way Mike can more easily track coffees resounding triumph and treat the drink with the proper respect.

One vote for coffee.

Remember, it is your civic duty to vote, and post and film, comment, and involve family and friends, coworkers, distant, barely known associates, so everybody's choice is known, it is an awesome responsibility, a terrible burden, a horrendous, crushing weight we all need to bear to keep society safe, and we are counting on you.