Bracketology, Hope Springs Eternal.

It is a bad day, here at the Life Explained Department of Bracketology.* The team we had picked to win the championship has been eliminated already. Yes, we understand that technically the tournament hasn't really started yet. But, technically the team we picked, our favorite team is not in that tournament. They are in the NIT, or they were in the NIT until last night, when they lost.

You see, we had this plan. Somewhere between The Dirty Thirty Two** and the Sweet Sixteen we were going to sneak the Nebraska Cornhuskers into the tournament using the difficult, dangerous double pincer movement made famous by the Ancient Greeks in the decisive battle of Marathon where they used it to such brutal effectiveness against the numerically superior Persian Army. Immortalized in the movie, "Wow, I Did Not See That Coming."

But, they lost to Mississippi State in Starkville. In a game that should have been in Lincoln. More accurately should have been today in the NCAA tournament, but don't get us started about that, we are still furious.



Anyway, we had them sneaking in, unnoticed and winning it all. We hadn't worked out all the details yet, but it involved kidnapping a team, swapping uniforms, and sending them to play in the other tournament. While Nebraska took their rightful place in the Championship game.

But, it didn't work out. Not this year, anyway. So, we have started bracketologing the hell out of next year already. I don't want to give too much away, but Nebraska wins the national championship. And we all go home happy. 




* Not affiliated with the NCAA, Espn, CBS, or any of those other Bracketologists.

** Not the real nickname for the round with thirty two teams, we aren't sure if it has a proper name yet. If not this one is for sale, please contact our attorneys, or just send us cash, we aren't fussy.

Winning, it's for winners, like us

As well as the $25.00 Amazon Gift Card we, here at the Life Explained Subdivision of the Whacko Blogs are going to be taking home soon there is also the small matter of the Twenty Million Google Dollars that will soon be treating us to donuts and exotic, dark roasted, delicious coffee. All we have to do is fly to the moon, drive 500 meters (several dozen feet) and send back some HD video, and it is ours.

Been there, done that, had a picnic and met a few aliens, signed an interplanetary peace treaty, and drank so much wine we didn't feel safe flying home, built a small Motel 6, with an indoor pool and sauna, serving sweet rolls, and frozen bagels for a continental breakfast.

This one is in the bag folks. We still have footage of our last trip.

In fact, when we heard about the laughably easy money to be made Professor Dog actually jumped into a landing module, flew up there and sent back this picture.

I guess it isn't really fair to all of the people who don't have access to such an embarrassing amount of intellect and technology. But, life is not fair. Maybe next time.

Man, this is going to be a good month for the Life Explained accounting department, 20 million and twenty five dollars.

What are you doing for the holiday season?

Thanksgiving Comes Early

What a magic weekend, enchanted, and wonderful.  A weekend that brings so much joy to so many, so much pleasure to a tired nation.  This is the weekend the gods of chronology give us an extra hour sleep.  This is the weekend when you can wake up, look at the clock, and think, "no, it is not 8:00 it is only 7:00 and I can sleep another hour."  

 
Oh sure, the sadistic, heartless members of the irresponsible press will tell you to turn your clocks ahead before you go to bed tonight, but that is only a government generated, corporate approved, mandate designed to fuel the oppression, and control of the masses, keeping the population compliant, imprisoned, and toiling in anonymous, thankless labor, feeding the giant profits that our elected representatives, and their owners, big business, have come to enjoy. But, we here #LifeExplained™, are here to help set our brothers and sister, and moms, dads, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, and nephews free.

 
Before you go to bed tonight ignore your clocks, walk past them without a second thought, without a glance. Think of your clock as your job responsibilities and ignore them completely, thinking "oh, I will take care of that tomorrow." Maybe even have an extra bourbon, or scotch, beer, wine, of soft drink, and some more popcorn, nachos, or wings, and live life in complete gluttony, and complete disregard for all of the advice and concern of your doctor, and loved ones. Why not, you will get an Extra Hour Of Sleep. And sleep is the ultimate remedy.

 
Here, I would be remiss if I neglected to point out that our poor friends in Indiana don't get this fantastic gift. They have the same, dull, monotonous time all year long, going from day to day, never ending, robot like automatons. Always under the thumb of "the man," doing all of that stuff that Indiana natives are famous for, whatever that is. It is time Indianan… Indianian, Indianaiananian… Indiana natives, whatever you are called, it is time to rise up and demand an extra hour of sleep, it is your right.

 
So, tonight indulge, over indulge, and then have a little more. It is the night of extravagance, it is the night of rewarding yourself for all of those mornings where the clock was in charge, where the clock was the master. Tomorrow you have the upper hand, (at least for an hour) and that doesn't happen very often.