Bracketology, Hope Springs Eternal.

It is a bad day, here at the Life Explained Department of Bracketology.* The team we had picked to win the championship has been eliminated already. Yes, we understand that technically the tournament hasn't really started yet. But, technically the team we picked, our favorite team is not in that tournament. They are in the NIT, or they were in the NIT until last night, when they lost.

You see, we had this plan. Somewhere between The Dirty Thirty Two** and the Sweet Sixteen we were going to sneak the Nebraska Cornhuskers into the tournament using the difficult, dangerous double pincer movement made famous by the Ancient Greeks in the decisive battle of Marathon where they used it to such brutal effectiveness against the numerically superior Persian Army. Immortalized in the movie, "Wow, I Did Not See That Coming."

But, they lost to Mississippi State in Starkville. In a game that should have been in Lincoln. More accurately should have been today in the NCAA tournament, but don't get us started about that, we are still furious.



Anyway, we had them sneaking in, unnoticed and winning it all. We hadn't worked out all the details yet, but it involved kidnapping a team, swapping uniforms, and sending them to play in the other tournament. While Nebraska took their rightful place in the Championship game.

But, it didn't work out. Not this year, anyway. So, we have started bracketologing the hell out of next year already. I don't want to give too much away, but Nebraska wins the national championship. And we all go home happy. 




* Not affiliated with the NCAA, Espn, CBS, or any of those other Bracketologists.

** Not the real nickname for the round with thirty two teams, we aren't sure if it has a proper name yet. If not this one is for sale, please contact our attorneys, or just send us cash, we aren't fussy.

A Plea for Help and a Plea to #fixtheplus

We are now entering the second round of the NCAA tournament. "The round of thirty two." And I have yet to watch a complete game. Part of it has been the fact that I have been consumed by writing and "researching"* my book.** But mostly it has been terribly busy at work, which is where I have historically started.

It seemed sickening that people would want their product shipped at such an inopportune time as the first round of the NCAA tournament. What kind of monsters are we doing business with.

But, I realized that most of the problem came with our international distributors. Turns out people in Europe, scattered around the Pacific Rim, in the Middle East, and other places not in the US care very little for the sanctity of the tournament.

So, I come to you, Life Explained Nation, well nation is probably the wrong term, Life Explained
Universe, if you live in another country tell your friends, coworkers, employers, everybody you know, about the importance of getting things done in advance of the NCAA tournament next year.

Muscles not to scale

It might not hurt to take out an ad in the local paper, or buy some time during a news broadcast. Whatever it takes to get the word out.

Thank you, we appreciate your support,

Sincerely,

Life Explained, department of basketball watching.






*Which involved poking around online for Missouri River dams in South Dakota, and then deciding to send my cousins husband a facebook message, he knows a lot about South Dakota, and the Missouri River (thanks Randy). And then poking around a little more on line and eventually asking my son about Viking religious beliefs, particularly the beliefs about life after death, he knows a lot about history, sometimes more than I can believe (thank you, son).

**I would like to apologize for this latest plug for an unfinished novel (close to finished, though), I'm sorry. And I would like to promise you it won't happen again, but that would be a lie. In fact, we, here at Life Explained, are looking for someone to head up our new "Shameless Self Promotion" department. Must have an oversized ego, and the ability to send messages to people who know stuff, and things.

Road to the Final Four, or the Path to the Intermediate Thirty Two.

Tonight I am going to see the Dayton Flyers play the Oklahoma Sooners in an NCAA tournament game.  The NCAA tournament is my favorite sporting event.  A single elimination slugfest, providing hours of entertainment, competition, and numerous opportunities for gambling, game fixing, corruption, and intrigue.

After watching some of the officiating so far maybe that is not all a joke.  But, maybe I am just unhappy that the teams I was rooting for went down in ignominious defeat, a sobbing, bleeding pile of broken dreams laying below the naked baskets, the nets recently cut away by the winners.

Speaking of which, there is a great commercial featuring one of the heroes of my youth, Dr. J, where he explains that when you are climbing the ladder to cut down the net, make sure to grip the scissors firmly, because everything about climbing a ladder with a pair of scissors screams eye injury.  You should listen, he is a doctor, after all.

Of course, that is not important, because I am GOING TO THE GAME!  Long a dream of mine, and the great thing is I like both teams, so no matter who wins, I can be happy.  More importantly, it doesn't matter which group of fans I am with, there will be no friction.  And, it is likely that it will be Dayton fans, since we are going to the game in Columbus, OH.  At the hockey arena, playing on ice will add a new dimension to the game, I hope they don't call traveling too tightly.

Plus, and here is the good part, I have a new app, "Cute Cut" for my iPhone, to document the trip.

Further, I had no choice in going to the game, as I was visited by a Killer Robot from Outer Space, who demanded we take him to the game.  Here is the video of the event.

As you can see, the options were limited.

Tune in tomorrow, or Tuesday, for the full account of my "FIRST TRIP (though, I am hoping it is not my last) TO THE NCAA TOURNAMENT!"

My Bracket, it was fun while it lasted.

As promised yesterday, here is my bracket for the NCAA tournament (2015 version).

Obviously, I am almost eliminated already.  That is really the plan, you know (not really)?  While everybody else is watching, tense, nervous, constantly checking their bracket, and their place in the bracket challenge(s). Chewing their fingernails, snapping at their families, cursing co-workers, spewing anger, disappointment, hate, and intolerance, just waiting for the hammer to drop I will be enjoying an icy cold, delicious beverage, and a tasty, warm, and with luck, healthy snack, and basketball.  This leaves me free to curse the refs, the fates, the unfortunate string of poor free throw shooting, the coriolis effect that is certainly reducing the three point shooting percentage of my team, anything that makes a convenient excuse for my team losing, almost without care.  

I know picking Kansas to win is crazy (forgive me Bill Self) they may be home before next weekend, but you have to pick somebody, and it should be somebody in the top 4 seeds.  I would have picked Louisville, except they showed Chris Jones the door, and losing your starting point guard right before the tournament is a bad omen.  And, in all fairness, I probably did pick them to win in one of the other brackets, I don't remember, and will let you know for sure, maybe.  And, as discussed yesterday, picking someone I don't want to win is impossible.  It leaves me rooting for a team I want to lose, or rooting against my bracket, and that is too much to ask. 

Here is my bracket with friendly, little cartoon people and musical accompaniment from the Spencer Davis Group.  You have to love those guys.

So, that is mine, enjoy, share yours if you want, the email address it tweettweetjohn@yahoo.com, and it will be posted here, for posterity.   And, if that makes you uncomfortable, that's cool, enjoy the tournament, I hope you win, I am pulling for you all the way.

Saint Patrick Probably would not pick the Fightin' Irish.

Yesterday was Saint Patrick's Day, a day to celebrate all things Irish.  Except for Saint Patrick, it seems, from some preliminary research, he was not born in Ireland.  He was born in Roman Britain, kidnapped and sold into slavery in Ireland, and after escaping to a Monastery in Gaul (France) he returned to Ireland.

He made the Druids stop practicing their religion, claiming it was paganistic, and not his religion.  Since this was such a bigoted, narrow minded act they made him a bishop, and then a saint.  It is unclear why Saint Patrick's Day strikes such a chord.  It seems most saints have a day, and looking into the days, it seems most of them have a saint, but, this one really gets all the press.

Green clothes, green derbies, green beer, green is everywhere.  Maybe that is why this one is so important, it has a color.  What color would you ascribe to Saint David of Wales (March 1st) or Saint Leander of Seville (March 13th)?  Nobody would know what to wear.  Saint Patrick, put on some green, find a parade, and things are rolling.

So, we move on, another Saint Patrick's Day, come and gone, the world returns to normal.  Which is no picnic, either.  Maybe nobody noticed through the green haze enveloping the world yesterday, but life still defies explanation.

If it weren't for the NCAA tournament I am not sure there would be any point at all.  Thank goodness for college basketball.  To make a point, I plan to post my bracket picks right here, for all the world to see. And, if you can find a way to choose teams in a pattern of diametric opposition you will probably do pretty well, kind of a public service from the good people at Life Explained.

In fact, if you send me your bracket as a JPG file I will post it here, as well.  And then complete strangers can question your sanity, loyalties and ability to pick a decent bracket.  Whoever wins, and by wins I mean has the appearance of the most correct choices, as judged by me, probably, (unless I can convince someone else to do it) will get a bit part in the movie, based on the best seller "Life Explained, a Primer in the Explanation of Life," after I figure out how to explain life, write the book, sell the movie rights, and find a way to influence the agency in charge of casting.  It should not be a problem, though.

So, email your bracket to me, at tweettweetjohn@yahoo.com.  Anytime before the end of the tournament. Submissions received after the tournament will not be accepted, unless they are accompanied by a $5.00 bill.

Thank you, and good luck,

Management,

Back to work, no chance for escape.

Well, I had my shot, took my chances, tried to grab the brass ring.  A billion dollars, and they were just waiting to hand it over, to me.  "Here you go, Tim, a billion dollars, and man, are we glad you won."  I was ready.  All I had to do was pick all of the winners in the NCAA tournament.  How hard could that be?  Let's face it, there are two teams in each game, and one of them is going to win, and one will lose, so that makes it one in two, or 50 % of getting it right, and some games are just obvious, right?  So, all of the sudden I am at like 60 % - 40 %, maybe 70 - 30.  It was almost a sure thing.

To increase my odds even further I decided to use the power of the internet, and research each game carefully.  By using a formula that gives extra weight to road wins and wins against "quality opponents, further I planned to research common opponents, and maybe even move out two or three degrees, and compare point spreads, rebounds, and assists, figuring that was the key factor in deciding most games.  I was so excited.

But, when I went to the first game, Florida, vs Albany, they didn't have any common opponents, and none of the teams either of them had played ever faced an opponent from the other team, and this was out to the third place, dang this was going to take a while.  But, Florida was going to win, so I chose them.  On to Pitt vs. Colorado.  Again, no common opponents, and maybe they only had one cycle to get to someone but, I didn't have forever, you know.  And I just don't much care for Pitt, so I chose Colorado.  And people say VCU is good, and their coach is actually named Smart, so that is good, I choose VCU.

Soon, I was just flying through the sheet, a guiding light showing me the way, almost casting a glow on the winning team!  Man, this was too easy.  Some higher power, some unseen force wanted me to win a billion dollars, and do good things with it.  It was almost like cheating!

Wednesday night I could hardly sleep.  Three weeks, and I would be rollin' in the samoleans, saying sayonara to the good folks at work, and setting sail for prosperity, wealth and casual indulgence, with a polite nod to charity of course, no point is being greedy, right?

Then, the unthinkable happened.  I was knocked out before the first day was really even started.  How could this happen?  Harvard, Mercer and North Dakota State all won in the first round!  What?  Well, fate had a nice laugh, at my expense, but, we are friends again.  It was a silly indulgence, anyway, and who really needs a billion dollars.  I can live without it, until next year.

Just wait until next year.

Ok, so I had the Cornhuskers winning the tournament, unapologetically, unabashedly, and with a great amount of pride.  I am a fan, and they are my team, it is a symbiotic relationship, but I probably get more benefit.  But, if the Cornhuskers read blogs it would be more equitable, so it is not all my fault.

But, they got beat today, it was an unfortunate game that took some unexpected twists, and a few tragic turns.  Coach Tim Miles was ejected for the first time in his coaching career, but, I won't blame the official, there will be not finger pointing on my blog, a loss is a loss, and you move on.

The referee who called the technical to eject Coach Miles was just a guy doing a job, and is only human, so we are not going to indulge in any childish name calling.

It does bring to mind an old saying from my time in India when I was working for...  well I am not really authorized to discuss who I was working for.   Anyway, there was an old Punjab saying, "Trust a cobra before you trust a Sikh, trust a Sikh before you trust a Pathan, and trust anybody, anywhere in the world before you trust a truly loathsome bastard like that."  My multi-lingual Punjabi is not that good anymore but, it was something like that.    Not that I think the official in question is loathsome, or detestable, this was just a coincidence, sometimes thoughts show up, a lot of old people have that problem.

Sorry, I slip into memories, occasionally.

In the wonderful words of the fantastic Bob Dylan;

"I'm not sorry for nothing I've done,
I'm glad I fought I only wish we won."

Anyway, this was a special season to be Cornhusker basketball fan, and next year will be even better. With that in mind I have started filling out my bracket for next seasons tournament already.  I am picking Nebraska to win it all.  But, I am not too sure who to pick from the south division, any suggestions?

Hey, somebody has to win.

Before we start today, you deserve a little explanation, a reason for the way things are done in some places.  Mostly here, and exclusively on an NCAA bracket selection sheet.  I am a fan, and root with abandon for a team.  It is a passionate rite that endures bad seasons, and rough stretches.  It is like a friendship, a relationship, a marriage or a family.  Sure, sometimes things are not perfect, and occasionally a rocky stretch will cut deep.  But, we stand together, me and the teams.  I can not pick another team to beat my team on the sheet, it would be infidelity, it would be unfaithful, it would be wrong, and then when the game took place I would have to choose between hoping my team lost, or I lost.  So, I picked Nebraska to win the NCAA tournament.

From an unnamed source and used without permission.

While filling out my brackets I took the words of Coach Miles to heart when he said "I think we're a good enough team to win the tournament."  Coach Miles does not seem to be guilty of overt, macho bravado, or rampant, wild conceit, it is a quiet confidence, at least outwardly, that drives his words.  So, I picked Nebraska to win the NCAA tournament.  

After so many years of accepting an early end to the season, and looking forward to spring football coverage, this is exciting, and the joy of possibility is a powerful force.  Things are getting better, and it is happening now.  So, I am picking the Huskers to win the NCAA tournament.

In the hauntingly appropriate words of the great Bob Dylan.

"It’s undeniable what they’d have you to think
It’s indescribable, it can drive you to drink,
They said it was the land of milk and honey
Now they say it’s the land of money
Who ever thought they could ever make that stick
It’s unbelievable you can get this rich this quick"

One of my earliest memories is, and I was just a child, when my Mother, rest her soul, took me aside at a family reunion, and said to me, "Tim, if something carries a statistical probability, no matter how slight, that does not diminish over time it will eventually happen."  Those may not have been her exact words, but it was something like that.  And, after this season, it is safe to say that the statistical probability of Nebraska winning the tournament not only did not diminish it sky rocketed.  So, while Coach Miles, and I may have the time variable a little off, we are probably pretty accurate, if not this year, one year very soon.  So, I picked Nebraska to win next years NCAA tournament.  Yes, next year, the riches just keep piling up.

And, since I feel so good about this, here is a bonus appropriate Dylan quote for the day.


"It’s unbelievable like a lead balloon
It’s so impossible to even learn the tune
Kill that beast and feed that swine
Scale that wall and smoke that vine
Feed that horse and saddle up the drum
It’s unbelievable, the day would finally come"

So, has our day finally come?  Yes, to me it has.  By the way, I like the Cornhuskers in this years big dance, who are you picking?

NCAA Tournament a Sure Pick.

Well, the wait is over, and all of the conference tournaments are finished, the Big Kahunas of the NCAA have made their picks, and we all know where our teams stand, or sit for the next several weeks.

It has been an exciting, unpredictable season, a season filled with "bigs" using their "length" and "physicality" to impose their will on the smaller, insignificant "bigs" (who have a much tinier supply of "physicality") from the other team.

Many of the games went right down to the last few minutes, where one team had such a small advantage in points that the "differential" between the shot clock and the game clock was a very important and widely discussed, consideration, and had a profound affect on the point "differential" when the game clock and shot clock had no "differential," and both read 00:00.

As always, some people are very happy, in this case the Virginia Cavaliers, who had a wonderful season, and a fantastic ACC tournament.   They won both the regular season and the tournament championship, managing to beat the Duke Blue Devils in the championship game.  It was to be one of the best basketball games of the year, and  they re a well deserved #1 seed.  Plus, they have a coach named Tony Bennett, that is a plus no matter who you root for.

Some people are less thrilled, like the Louisville Cardinals, who are playing basketball so well right now that many people felt they deserve a better seed than #4.  I feel that way, but I am a Cardinals fan, and a little biased.

And there are some people who are unhappy, as is the case in Dallas, Texas where SMU was not even invited, after having a very good season, and are the first ranked team to miss the tournament since 2004.  But, that is the nature of this tournament, and the selection committee works in strange and mysterious ways, or at least strange ways.

I am very happy, my team, the Nebraska Cornhuskers, are in the tournament, and an 11 seed, facing the Bears of Baylor.  True, the Cornhuskers started the season slow, and got beat in the conference tournament, and has no true "bigs" bristling with menacing "physicality."  But, they are young, fast, and enthusiastic, and a late season streak of success increased their chances of inclusion.  And, when they are playing well, their defense is so agile and quick it almost looks as though they have 6 players on the court.

And almost as good as the Huskers making it to the NCAA tournament, almost, but not quite, I am planning on winning the Warren Buffett/Quicken Loans Bracket Challenge.  If you pick every game correctly you will win a billion dollars.  That will be cool, too.

So, thank you Warren Buffett, Quicken Loans, the NCAA selection committee, and a special thanks to you, Tim Miles, your hard working, wonderfully young team, and my parents, my teachers, the directors, and the Academy... oh, sorry I accidentally started reciting from my Oscar acceptance speech.

Anyway, enjoy the tournament, root for your team, and enjoy the snacks, I am going with chips, and dip, or crackers, and cheese, or cookies, and milk, well I will have it figured out by Thursday.