Thank You,

It is time for a nation to breathe a collective sigh of relief.  Time to mop its collective brow, of the collective fear induced perspiration that has gathered during the collective trauma.  Time to raise a collective voice and say "Thank You, So Much, Elected Officials."

In what can only be considered a selfless act of compassion the houses of congress have decided to shut down the Federal Government.  What daring, what courage, what sacrifice.

"Yes, we shut down the government, it was the only decent thing to do."  They said.

To protect their constituents, and serve the needs of the country they have decided it was time to "pull the plug on the old girl.  In so many ways it is too bad Dr. Kevorkian has given up the ghost.  We could really use his services."  One insider was quoted as saying.

Really, it was the only humane thing to do, the government was suffering, and there really seemed no hope for any significant improvement.  Yes, they may have been able to make it comfortable for a short time, but the result was inevitable.  Systems were failing and the painful, pitiable, battle was drawing to an end.  There were just too many illnesses for one government to overcome.

In related news, Jane Goodall, who was considering studying the primitive life forms inhabiting the houses of congress, recently declared, "I will have to decline, they are too barbaric, and I would fear for my life."  Too bad, it would be nice if there were some explanation for their behavior.