We have a friend that lives in Berlin. She is a very nice person, and fearless in many ways, though a little crazy, at times. It is a widely held opinion around headquarters that she moved to Berlin to learn German, (or find a decent beer) which is very brave, and a little crazy. But, she feels that living in a fifth floor apartment, in a building with no elevator, will keep her safe from spiders. Readers of this blog probably know better.
It has come to our attention that spiders are no longer content just walking, or crawling or climbing or whatever it is called when a spider decides to go somewhere else. We will need to ask a spider scientist about the correct phrase, that is a scientist who studies spiders, not a scientist who is a spider, so don't get any ideas about ill timed practical jokes.
Here is a prime example from the Daily Star. Dang, I am throwing away my backpack, unopened! Remember, this is not for the squeamish, or the British, who have had several Arachnid related incidences in the last few years. Now, they have Giant Huntsman spiders (though we have been told by our legal department that they much prefer being called Giant Huntsperson spiders) bringing their entire family and jetting to live in the UK.
Apparently, spiders are reaching new levels of sophistication when planning travel. This, of course, spells big trouble for almost everybody, almost everywhere in the world, even the people who live in fifth floor apartments with no elevator.
Mankind has two choices, Space Colonization, or giving up hope. Fortunately, we here at Life Explained are proceeding head long and with reckless abandon with our plans to open a residential development (along with a very exclusive retail district, including micro breweries, and fine dining) on Mars, or the Moon, we are not sure yet, whichever is less hospitable to spiders. We are still looking for answers.
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
Five Stories may not be enough.
There is not much to say, but, for those who find any offense, please remember these are only stories, jokes, and have no relation to reality. Kind of like life.
I like life, and hope it lasts a long time, but it does require some explanation, that is why these blogs exist. To help people navigate times and events that make no sense.
Here are a few places you can find a few things.
The Original Life Explained. Where it all started, a little rambling and a lot of nothing important.
Life Explains The End Views on humanity's race to self extinction. I hope I am wrong.
Life Explains Smiles Because everybody likes it when you smile.
Life Explains Aging Getting older is not always easier, but it is worth the effort. And a few small things can make it much more pleasant.
Life Explains Traveling and Commuting Mostly commuting. Driving bugs me and working bugs me so driving to work is the ultimate insult of modern life, and I like to complain.
Life Explained Explores History. The real problem with history is there is so much of it. It is all over the place. But, if you take the time to look at the small pieces it is fascinating.
Life Explains Music Music is a universal language. I like guitar based rock and roll, but there is a little bit of a lot here.