Life Explained the Daily Drama.

While cruising through the news feed this morning we, here at Life Explained, Division Ohio General, (Le Dog) found an article about an actor from the UK that gave up a part in a successful soap opera to pursue a career on the Big Screen.

We didn't read the article, (we are way too macho to care much about soap operas, and if we were going to care about soap operas they would be good, American soap operas, not that it matters, we just thought you should know) but the headline implied he landed a huge role in an upcoming movie, certain to be a blockbuster, and make millions for everyone involved. Good on him, we say.

It is always a good sign when someone can "transition" from one success to the next, without really doing anything. He was an actor, and he is still an actor, but now he is making Hollywood money. He is very excited about that.

He is probably not the first, and since it worked so well he definitely won't be the last. This is going to leave a giant vacuum in the soap opera universe. Advertisers, and fans will need some new daytime drama, something to fill the hours between the morning news about all of the bad things that happened overnight, and the evening news about all of the bad things that happened during the day.

We are going to start the new Life Explained: Days of Turmoil. A daytime drama featuring all of the characters you demand. Beautiful, fashionable people who have had the ability to smile ripped from them by the constant stream of unfortunate occurrences.

And now a word from our sponsor. Don't forget to floss, and brush, brought to you by the good people at Life Explained, Eplains Aging.

Tune in tomorrow when Doctor Dawg finds out he was adopted!

Another point of view UK vs. US, from a very wise friend.

A while ago +Mike Raven and I had one of our "showdowns." This time it was about government, and as always we had had a very good time, and made a couple of videos, and did not take it very seriously. But, +Richard G. Stevens posted a great piece, and it made me feel a little foolish.

Next, a man I have a great deal of respect for, +Rahul Singh weighed in, and sent me the following post. Rahul is a keenly intelligent man with a wonderful blog. But, he agreed to let me post this piece on my blog. It is an amazingly insightful look into a serious subject. It offers the insights that only someone from the outside can provide. Read this wonderful work, it is amazing, and please feel free to write your own post. I would love to hear what you have to say. And thank you, Rahul, your work is marvelous.

Hi, I am Rahul Singh. I am a blogger with a top-secret blog. I say this because if you would follow me in the near future, you will find me writing everywhere else other than my own blog. It's simple. I enjoy learning from my seniors (both in experience and age). To that end here I am at "Life, explained."

Well, we all know that the genius behind this blog is in a friendly war with Mike Raven. Who has the better system of governance? United Kingdom or United States. Honestly, I would want to go with the US, had the British not been the inventors of Cricket. I personally feel that Cricket is indeed the greatest invention since PAPER. I love these two things more than anything besides my family, friends and __ (fill the blank for yourself).

Let's compare both the countries' administration, as being a member of another nation far apart. (Disclaimer: Just the basics, I look at here).

1. Clean Politics: Both countries stand up well here. Both have their share of conspiracy theories, but nothing too alarming. At least, what we in India read. So, it's a tie here.

2. The inhouse politics: As a child, growing up in a developing nation I imagined the US as the country with no problems. That view has certainly changed. Honestly, the whole black-white thing is real mess to an outsider. Equality is one of the main principle of democracy. From outside, in the world filled with problems, the UK seems to be handling their house better.

3. President vs. PM: The US wins here. The American President is considered the most powerful man on earth. The PM of UK, I feel does not get enough of the powers. In the battle of democracies being partially a monarchy is a certain drawback. People should have the right to choose someone, who runs the place and is not a mere caretaker.

4. Round the globe: Well, as much as I hate to say, the UK have actually been better ambassadors of world peace than the US. No offence, but the people here are far critical of the US because of some of its startling measures. Anyway, if someone could share some more light on it, for now, as much as I hate the UK for all its past sins (personal opinion), I appreciate it's simple stand towards complex issues in the recent past. Also, it has amazingly built a reputation in modern times as a messenger of peace. Completely contrasting is its past image. At one time they seemed the greatest villains on earth. I quite like David Cameron as a PM.. So, with complete respct to US' efforts against terrorism, I still think US makes blunders with its foreign policies. So, give this to UK.*

5. Global-effect: The US might make blunders with things. People might not like their stance on most topics. However, there is no other nation that has more impact on this planet than the US. For a fact, if it's terrorism or any other topic. The US has certainly been one of the world's more proactive nations. The UK seems more reactive, which is not particularly helpful. So, it is again the US.

It is pretty even really, as far as I am concerned. I maybe am in slight favour of the US. Although, I may very well go with UK, if I am promised the Kohinoor to be returned to India.

Democracy, It Belongs to the World, but Who Does it Better?

Democracy was born in ancient Greece, those people loved to vote, and debate. They would vote on things for days. But, that proved difficult and unwieldy, not nearly efficient enough for Americans. We like things streamlined, trimmed and neat. When we tossed all the foreigners out in 1700s (and it was not easy, we still sounded remarkably similar, thank goodness for the uniforms) we decided to make a good American Democracy.

George Washington said "I won't be king, but I will be the leader, we just need a good name, maybe Prime Minister. No that sounds too European, and it will look lousy on the Presidential Seal. Hey, how about Presidential, or better yet, President?"

"Great idea, what about us, though, we were there too?" the other founding fathers cried in dismay.

"You can be the Houses of Congress," Washington replied. 

They cheered, danced, drank, voted to shutdown the Federal Government and went on recess. Modern American Democracy was born.

And what a fine institution it is. Not a real democracy, it is what we like to call a representative democracy. We vote for people who tell us how bad other people are. They go to Washington and act like children, and ignore the needs of the people. If they can do this long enough they will be appointed to key committee positions, where they can ignore the needs of a much larger group of people. 

Really, it is the ultimate evolution of Government, the pinnacle of Democracy. We vote, they vote, and things run smoothly. 

If you can draw enough attention to yourself you have the opportunity to apply for the

ultimate job in American Politics, Vice Presidency. 

You want to talk about a plum assignment, this is one getting over job. Oh sure, he has to be "President of the Senate" and if something happens to the President he better be sober, but other than that he is just along for the ride. Man, what a gig.

There is nothing comparable in the UK government with its Westminster System, and uncodified constitution, Which, by the way means:

the fundamental rules often take the form of customs, usage, precedent and a 
variety of statutes and legal instruments.

I am only speaking for myself here, but I think there is way to much left open there. Imagine going into a "pub" and asking for a "pint" and saying you would like it chilled. Would David Cameron send in his legion of jack booted thugs to whisk you away, saying "chilled beer kind of goes against our customs, and as such is a violation of our uncodified constitution, mate."


Don't forget to check out the competition at Blog of Thog. Comment, and tell him he is a wonderful blogger, but a little off base, or spot on. It is your chance to have a say

It is close, man, real close.

I would like to remind everybody of the huge showdown this weekend. +Mike Raven of the painfully good Blog of Thog and I will be deciding once and for all, in no uncertain terms, unequivocally, beyond a shadow of a doubt which brand of government is superior. UK with a Prime Minister, House of Lords, and House of Commons, or the US with a President and Houses of Congress.

This is not going to be easy, because I don't really have a lot of faith in governments of any kind. It is not the government that is troubling, it is the people that worry me. Historically, when given a little power people let it go their head, and the next thing you know all hell is breaking loose.

Plus, I like the UK, there are a lot of great things that have come from the Island Nation. Coleridge, Shakespeare, Dickens, The Clash, The Kinks, The Beatles are just a few. There is nothing bad between Great Britain and Life Explained.

I even tried to spell color with a U (colour), because it seemed all British, and cool. Siri kept correcting it, though. I said "Siri, I want to spell color with a U." She said, "we're not doing that, Tim." Dangit,  I can't have anything.

The Coveted Best of the Worst Cup

But, the debate goes on, and I am armed with twenty or so presidential candidates, and a conviction that out of all the governments in the world ours (here in the good ol' US) is probably not the worst.

That's right, Mike, we are not the worst. In fact, we might be the least bad! I am here to say, with pride and conviction, that our government might be the best kind of awful, are you ready to deal with that.

Five Stories may not be enough.

We have a friend that lives in Berlin.  She is a very nice person, and fearless in many ways, though a little crazy, at times.  It is a widely held opinion around headquarters that she moved to Berlin to learn German, (or find a decent beer) which is very brave, and a little crazy.  But, she feels that living in a fifth floor apartment, in a building with no elevator, will keep her safe from spiders.  Readers of this blog probably know better.

It has come to our attention that spiders are no longer content just walking, or crawling or climbing or whatever it is called when a spider decides to go somewhere else.  We will need to ask a spider scientist about the correct phrase, that is a scientist who studies spiders, not a scientist who is a spider, so don't get any ideas about ill timed practical jokes.

Here is a prime example from the Daily Star.  Dang, I am throwing away my backpack, unopened!  Remember, this is not for the squeamish, or the British, who have had several Arachnid related incidences in the last few years.  Now, they have Giant Huntsman spiders (though we have been told by our legal department that they much prefer being called Giant Huntsperson spiders) bringing their entire family and jetting to live in the UK.



Apparently, spiders are reaching new levels of sophistication when planning travel.  This, of course, spells big trouble for almost everybody, almost everywhere in the world, even the people who live in fifth floor apartments with no elevator.

Mankind has two choices, Space Colonization, or giving up hope.  Fortunately, we here at Life Explained are proceeding head long and with reckless abandon with our plans to open a residential development (along with a very exclusive retail district, including micro breweries, and fine dining) on Mars, or the Moon, we are not sure yet, whichever is less hospitable to spiders.  We are still looking for answers.

Disturbing News From The UK.

In what has become a remarkably repetitive story line there is more terrible Arachnid news from Great Britain.  According to the Time Magazine Facebook page, an "invasion" of venomous spiders caused a school to close for a day.  That's right, venomous spiders are invading a school in England!

It has been coming for a long time.  We here at Life Explained warned you here, We told you  and here, Again, we told you, but people like to go through life with blinders on, hearing what they want to hear.  Not that blinders affect what you hear, but people who only see what they want to see, are not too keen on listening to bad...  Well you know what we mean.

Apparently people are not going to be happy until the entire Island Nation is overrun with the terrifying creatures.  We would look into this possibly fatal (if you only read the first two paragraphs, or extremely painful if you read the last paragraph) infestation ourselves, but we hate flying, and spiders, so flying to see spiders is probably not going to happen.  But, we will keep an eye on our Facebook feed and let you know when it is safe to come out of the refrigerator.  Spiders hate cold, you know?

Not to scale

You can see it here.  http://newsfeed.time.com/2013/10/23/hey-the-new-kid-is-kind-of-cute-wait-thats-a-venomous-spider/

See, These are Things to Worry About.

Texas increases exports to Great Britian.

Britain's first infestation of the deadly Black Widow spider has been discovered in a machinery plant in East Norfolk.

Engineers at the plant discovered the notoriously vicious spider and, after a Google search to identify it, called in pest control. Factory workers and office assistants were evacuated by pest control officers as the spider was sealed in an air tight container.

A nest of eggs was later discovered in the same crate where the spider was originally found after more than 100 baby Black Widows hatched from a small sack the size of a pea.

'You could tell it was a Black Widow because of the hourglass pattern on the thorax and the aggressive stance the spider was taken once trapped in our containers,' said Ian Parkinson, a service manager at Abate Pest Control, who dealt with the request.

''We cordoned off the area in the yard where the spider was discovered and created a ring of insecticide around it. We then used electric and petrol based foggers on the rest of the site.

'After the factory was closed last night we then sprayed the office areas with a water-based insecticide as well.

'We are now satisfied that the premises is safe.'

It is believed that the spiders had come into the country from a delivery of imported machinery goods from Texas.

All products are fumigated before being exported but it remains a mystery as to how the spiders survived.

Mr Parkinson believes that Black Widows can survive up to some weeks after only one large meal so it is not unlikely that they would survive during transit.

Black Widow spiders are considered the most venomous spiders in North America.


The southern Black Widow has the shiny, black, globular abdomen with the distinctive red hourglass on the underside.

There was much skepticism about the potential problems caused by Aggressive Intercontinental Spiders jumping on jets and traveling the globe when first reported in "Another Thing to be Worried About." Experts ridiculed the idea saying "spiders will never be able to get through the rigorous TSA screening process."  Now who is laughing?

TSA head John Pistole refused to comment until reporters had emptied their pockets and taken off their shoes.  We hope to have a full report as soon they get through the metal detectors.

It is getting increasingly difficult to find safety in this world, but until then this site will bring you the difficult truth, because we care.

A small favor, please.

In what can only be viewed as a very pleasant surprise, many people who have looked at this important and historically significant blog are from the wonderfully progressive and delightfully joyful Country of Germany.  By what can only be viewed as one of the most fortuitous coincidences of all time 2 very good friends of mine are traveling to your scenic, beautiful, historically significant, and fiscally responsible Nation.  I would be very grateful if you could meet them at the airport, and buy them a nice meal.  Maybe bring them a cake, here is one idea, feel free to use your own.

 

 

Since one of my friends is from Ohio she may, at random times, shout the letter O, and then quickly follow that by shouting the letter H.  It is considered good manners to respond by shouting the letter I and then the letter O.  This will make her feel right at home, it is very similar to the way wildlife uses unique sounds to signal safety.  My other friend is from Scotland, and may be playing Angry Birds on her iPad, so feel free to move around her if you are waiting in line, people from the UK are used to long lines, so she may not even notice, particularly if you say something nice about her Angry Bird tossing ability, or her shoes.

Thank you, in advance for the kindness, if I can ever do anything for you please let me know.