Well, not all of us are going to run for president, not that all of us shouldn't run for president, don't get us wrong, all of us would make a wonderful president, you should be so lucky to have us all for president, being president would be easy for us after the things we have been through, why the stories we could tell you... Anyway, we are going to pick one of us, and he, or she, is going to run for president.
Thorough research has indicated that campaigning for president maybe the most lucrative profession in the country. And you don't even have to win, people will hire you to give speeches, and advocate on their behalf, and there are book rights, and made for television movies, and... it is just a good idea.
First, there are the fundraiser dinners. People pay thousands of dollars to have a meal with us. And we don't even have to cook, serve or clean up. Where else are you going to find a sweetheart deal like that? We have trouble getting somebody's mom to fix up a plate of cookies and drop them off once in a while. And, then we have to wash the plate, and take it back. And, if we ask for a few dollars for gas, maybe a cup of coffee for the trip back to work they ask like we are asking if we can move back home. Which would not be so bad, we could help out with the yard work, and maybe pitch in for the groceries. They could do a lot worse than us for a room mate, we can tell you that, we bring a lot to the table, we have a job, and our own microwave, and... Anyway, there is a lot of money to be made in dinners like that.
Second, there is that cool bus, traveling across the country, shaking hands, meeting people. Sitting down, breaking bread with the common people, the salt of the Earth, the good folk of this fine country. Discussing the issues, exploring their priorities, learning what they feel is wrong and needs to be fixed in the nations capitol, and then ignoring it completely. But, a lot of those little diners have excellent pie or cobbler, fresh, dairy churned ice cream, and big steaming mugs of hot, delicious coffee. And, we are pretty sure someone else picks up the tab. Man, the people of this country have it made, really, what are they whining about, we are the ones stuck in that stupid tour bus, with all of those boring charts, and displays, and the constant, endless whining sound of unemployment, budget, foreign policy, reach across the aisle, you know what, let the people put down their coffee mug, and spoon full of ice cream and cobbler, and deal with that stuff, that is what we think should... Well, we are off to Dubuque, we hear The Golden Hen has a fantastic omelet.
|Hey, is that a tax exempt political donation, |
or are you just glad to see us.
Remember, it is your government, and it only works if you all vote, and donate, so get out and vote, and donate. We take cash, checks and all major credit cards, jewelry, electronics, and motor vehicles. Can our opponents say that?