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Monday, August 22, 2016

The Beginning of the Beginning, kind of.

Anybody who lives anywhere near a popular sports team, or home town hero understands the
enormous marketing potential of hiring a jock. Sure, sometimes you have to settle for less than stellar performance, and often you are forced to deal with uncontrollable egos, but slap a sports stars in front of a camera and you have instant brand recognition. A boost to profits, visibility and consumer loyalty.

We thought hiring +Rahul Singh would give us that sort of visibility, only on an interstellar scale.

Here was a guy who was not only making a name for himself in one of the fastest growing sports in the universe, Galactic Animal Mixed Martial Arts. Not only was he undefeated, he was young, handsome and looked good in a suit.

We didn’t care if he didn’t know beans about finance, he could help with “finance” by getting on television and smiling and waving and acting like he was a financial guy. It was like a license to print money. People would be lining up to invest. A multimillionaire retired sports guy talking eloquently on television on about how wise it was to invest in Life Explained Space Travel and Exploration. It was a golden goose, and we were ready to harvest some golden eggs.

But, here is the thing, Rahul was not happy being eye candy in front of a camera. He wanted to be a finance guy.

“We have finance guys coming out of the wazoo, Rahul. What we need is a guy to help with ‘finances.’” Dr. Dawg explained, as patiently as he could. “We need you to stand there and smile and sell us on TV. You have a reputation getting things done, in an emphatic fashion.”

But, some people don’t or can’t listen. So, we had to cut his pay.