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Sunday, October 16, 2016

Better Luck Next Month.

It is a short trip, in the scheme of things, Mars is only a day trip compared to some places, and it behooves us, here at Life Explained, to make the trip. We have the space shuttle, thanks in large part to a short trip to Tennessee, and a shaky chain of command, and a peculiarly open Purchase Order system. It is kind of complicated, and has never been fully explained. Kind of like life.

But, as the leading applied technology company in the known universe we feel a crushing responsibility to our stakeholders, to the public at large and to the future generations who depend on us to make sure science is advanced at the proper pace, and there is still a safe place to live.

So, we reverse engineered the space shuttle, (named Space Shuttle Future Profits, we have strong faith in the theory of self fulfilling prophecies) built some larger transport ships to carry building supplies, food, drinks, video equipment, extra clothing, and various stuff that may be needed. Nobody really knows much about establishing a colony on Mars, we want to be prepared. As an interesting side note we did manage to stow three cases of wine, one Merlot, one Sauvignon Blanc, and one Strawberry Farms Grape Explosion. Everybody should be covered until we can start producing our own.

Everything was loaded, and the twenty four hour countdown was proceeding nicely. Go, no go, was all go. Until somebody put a bumper sticker, "Hillary for Pres." And then somebody covered it with a "Trump the man with the Plan." Then somebody covered that with a "Trump is an idiot." which was soon covered with "Hillary should be in jail, orange is her new black," covered with "Trump should be in a Zoo, locked in a cage and fed with a stick."

Pretty soon all three shuttles were covered with the most awful insults, slanderous accusations of questionable intelligence and moral bankruptcy. Since this is a family friendly blog we won't go into details. Every surface was covered, windows, delicate electric components, instructional signs all buried under the most atrocious, vile charges of corruption and ineptitude imaginable.

Naturally, we had to scrap the mission until after the election. We will bail for the scientists, engineers and gaffers out of jail, by then we should have the transports cleaned, and ready to go. I just hope we can still get at the wine.