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Monday, October 17, 2016

Problem solved, sort of.

Many cities and states are still struggling with enormous debt. Budgets are being cut, and often vital services are sacrificed to maintain a balanced budget. When the federal government runs into this problem they have the enviable option of printing more money. And as appealing as that is it would only work if each entity (states, counties, cities, and villages) had its own unique currency. When we ran this by the Office of the Comptroller of Currency (OCC) the Fed (Federal Reserve System), the DoJ (Department of Justice) and the IRS (Department of Insufferable Persecution) we were told that this was a very bad idea and one of us was actually taken outside and shot. Seems they take the exclusive right to print money pretty seriously.

We agreed to drop that idea, and they let the rest of us leave, alive. After a few threats, and promises of terrible retribution.

We still wanted to help the cities and states of this fine country. Years of mismanagement, neglect, and governmental supervision have left them drained, bankrupt and hopeless. Yet, they still have citizens to protect, serve and clean up after. There are parades, fireworks, celebrations all requiring capitol. And people are not keen to give up these ostentatious displays of societal unity, despite the crippling effect on the budget. We are sticking together if it kills us.

We need look no further than the highly profitable world of professional sports for the solution to this crippling problem. Corporate sponsorship. Start small. Auction the naming rights to streets. Imagine the ease with which "Bob's House of Paints Third Avenue" rolls off the tongue.

"Where do you live?"

"At the intersection of Biff's Tattoos Main Street and Sid's Pawn Shop Atlantic Avenue. It is the green house with the brown yard, you can't miss it."

So, we are selling the naming rights to Life Explained. Think of the potential, The Kraft Macaroni and Cheese blog Explaining Life.

You don't want to miss out on this exciting, ground floor opportunity. Break out the check book now, while there is still time. Or, we might just start printing our own money, we do make a striking monetary unit, though.