Life, How to Survive.

Life is not a constant. It flows around obstacles, a stream that runs through a shifting bed of rocks, fallen trees, and shifting, changing hazards. Each capable of sinking your fragile boat. All you can do is navigate as best as you can, and hope for a little luck.

Luck is not always so helpful, though. Sometimes luck can turn around, and go bad, like cheese accidentally put in the cupboard instead of the refrigerator. Luck can be good, or bad, and shifts back and forth without much effort. No, you should rely on hard work, instead.

Hard work is its own reward they say. And it never hurts to put your shoulder to the wheel, and your nose to the grindstone. Well, it can hurt your shoulder, and your nose. And you have to push the shoulder on the wheel with something. Which will cause your back and your legs to be a little sore and stiff. And, if you think about it putting your nose on a grindstone, well that is just not a good idea, and there is no way to make it sound good. Maybe a person should rely on instincts.

Mankind has made it this far by outsmarting all of the things trying so hard to destroy it.  Hungry predators, fatal disease, cruel climate, and changing conditions have been trying to turn the knob and end the reign of mankind for generations. Yet, man in his weak flesh, and downgraded sensory array has managed to survive, even flourish. Of course most people would not survive long if they did not have insulated walls, thermal, fashionable clothing and wifi. Maybe, instincts have dulled with the supremacy afforded by technologically advancements.  Maybe intelligence is enough to save man from the trash heap of history.

It is intelligence that gave man wifi and North Face clothing. Forced air furnaces and frosty, blended

margaritas. Intelligence affords a certain standard of living for man, and his domesticated animals. Intelligence provides automobiles for travel so man can be comfortable zipping from one comfortable location to another.  Intelligence gave mankind jet planes, loaded with bombs to rush in drop high explosives on strangers, flame throwers for setting people on fire without crossing the street. Technology is kind of a double edged sword that cuts deeply, often, terribly, and without regard for right, wrong, ideology, or origin.

Tune in next week I will have the answer.

Based On A True Story.

Last night "Dawn of the Planet of the Apes" was released in select cities.  Since "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" was such a well liked movie here, at Life Explained, we thought we should look into the phenomenon.  Kind of Life Explains, explains movies.  It is a unique idea, apes with an increased intelligence, in a desperate war of extinction against the apex predator of the planet, humans.  It is only more intriguing when one remembers that human experimentation provided the advanced abilities of the apes.  It is such a compelling story we needed to find out more.

Imagine our shock when we found out it was based on a true story!  The proof was right there.  In classified documents, that we spent a great deal of effort sneaking out of the "Classified Documents" building, sparing no risk and investing a pretty good chunk of our own change.  We found out that some wacko in California (go figure) had invented a drug that would make people smarter.  He was worried about the potential side affects of having a bunch of smart people around, (who wouldn't be?) and decided to test it on apes.  Obviously he hadn't taken any himself, or he would have seen how dumb that idea was.

Soon, they were tying his shoelaces together, gluing his phone to the base, changing his screen saver to a picture of David Hasselhoff, ordering Chinese food, and pizza, throwing parties, and just livin' the heck out of life.  But, when they changed his ring tone to Justin Bieber that was too much, and he kicked them out.

Soon, California was overrun with intelligent apes. Several of them actually ran for office, since it was politics, no one noticed.  They had trouble with campaign financing, because the math makes no sense.  It baffled them how people would vote for someone who was so vague, and inaccurate that it was almost indecipherable. They were pretty smart, after all.  They gave up trying to take control that way, and chose a more aggressive approach.

They started to spread east.  Deserts, mountains, armies, traffic jams, nothing could stop them.  They were like an amoeba, everywhere.  Nothing slowed their inexorable march to the east.  They were like an amoeba, everywhere, all at once.  And nothing could slow them.

Until they got to Washington.  Our nations capitol is where many good plans go to die.  Apes careened down Constitution Avenue Northwest, storming through Stanton Park, crashing through, Ebenezers Coffee, only stopping long enough to have a espresso and a biscotti, they had heard such good things from politicians in California, they could not resist.

Then, things came to a crashing halt.  They were stuck in session, and riders were attached and voted down  There was bickering, back stabbing, name calling, childish accusations, and awful, terrible behavior (maybe that guy should have tried his intelligence drug on the houses of congress).  Being intelligent beings, they knew Washington was no place for them and they got on a boat, and left as quickly as they could.

One unnamed source (there are thousands of unnamed sources in Washington, it is the largest supplier of unnamed sources (and quotes from unnamed sources) in the world, maybe the whole universe) said he overheard "I don't care where we end up, as long as it isn't here."  They are pretty smart.