Another step toward tomorrow.

Last week the company decided to begin using the new accounting software.  As explained in a previous post the former accounting system was actually used by one of the early Chinese Dynasties, I believe it was the Song Dynasty and at the time they felt it "cumbersome, antiquated, with an unfriendly, difficult interface."  They hired a consultant from the Mongol Steppes, named Genghis Khan to help them learn the architecture and abilities of the system.  He became so frustrated he conquered all of the world, or at least the parts he could reach on horse back.

Anyway, it was clearly time for a change, and our software, and accounting people researched many different systems, exploring all of the possibilities, and carefully comparing the benefits, and features, and then decided to purchase the least expensive package, the "1,2,C Platform" from Bob's House o' Good Accounting Software.  Motto, "If price is your only concern, buy from Bob."

They spent weeks installing the new software on the computers, and training the staff in the use of the many features, and functions.  Finally it was time.  Last week "the balloon went up." 

It is an inspirational sight to see a group of people facing a difficult situation, struggling against common odds, and a mutual enemy, and turning on each other like a pack of rabid wolverines.  

There is no mistake so bad that it cannot be ameliorated, somewhat, by blaming someone else, venomously, hatefully, with threats of violence.

"Hey, Jill, I think you entered that product code incorrectly.  The name should always have a space before the lot number, and the edition size should go in user definable field 3."

Grasping a cheap retractable pen in a "modified saber, knife fighting grip" Jill steps closer, while rasping "that's the way Geoff told me to enter all of the products that are being made available in the fall line, that rat ba$tard, @!#$$ of a @$#@#@$, he can ki$$ my a$$, and so can you!"  

"OK, that's good." you scream, while moving quickly to the men's room, hoping she is not angry enough to follow you in there.

Shortly after any change as difficult and important as a major software update waves of nostalgia will sweep through the office.  People will begin to dress in black, and wipe away tears while discussing the many, almost uncountable, advantages of the old way, while leaving hateful, anonymous post it notes everywhere.  "Next time you fall asleep at your desk I will cut your throat." or "Do you know where your cat is?" maybe "I ate your lunch, sorry about that, but it was delicious."  Ok, that last one happens all the time around here, and has forced many of us to bring crappy lunches.

It is the Life Explained Office Update 2 Part grieving process, untrammeled anger, grief and untrammeled anger.

Soon this will pass, and everybody will be back to their normal, lunch stealing selves.  Progress, in all of its jackbooted glory, marches on, and if you are lucky it will not trample you.

Change is difficult.

Yesterday we talked briefly about our new accounting software, and the almost limitless potential it might provide, it is truly a flexible, accommodating bit of programming genius with options that can be custom built for each unique requirement.  It was expensive, but it has received very high praise from most of the associates who have gone through the training session.

Of course, as we discussed yesterday, there are some people who are not delighted with the change, and are attempting to (Please, may we have one or two cones, to go?) stop the implementation by occupying the break room on the 6th floor, the room with the soft serve ice cream machine.

We detailed our plans to send in several squads from the custodial department  In a brilliantly devised, and exceptionally executed pincer movement we mobilized several units from research and development and began a full scale assault on two sides of the the break room.  Using organic small arms fire, and some light artillery provided by the secretarial staff we began to get the upper hand.

In a surprisingly coordinated (particularly when you consider it was the accounting department) counter attack the Accounts Receivable Brigade concentrated their assault on the smaller R And D contingent to the south, and under a withering hail of automatic weapon fire began to push the force back through the ornate interior French Doors, and into the  barren, open hallway where the lack of adequate cover would have left them exposed and vulnerable.

After several air strikes it seemed the weary Accounts Receivable people were going to be overrun and there would be ice cream for everyone.

While consolidating our hold on the entry way, and thinking the battle was almost won, we were hit by a large column from the Human Resource Liberation Army.  Slamming into our exposed southern flank, they rolled up the assault team like a row of dominoes and managed to capture the small conference room.

We are going to settle in for a long campaign, right now we are calling in reinforcements from the legal department, and our hopes for speedy resolution are dashed.

new software, and ice cream.

We are in the process of upgrading our accounting software at work.  After a lot of hand wringing, turmoil, finger pointing, name calling, and a few very entertaining fist fights in the hallways, stairwells, and break rooms they have decided to go with a  Microsoft product.  It has a Windows based architecture, and most of us are familiar with that program, so it made sense.

Our old software was based on the Abacus, not the operating system, the wooden frame with the little beads that run up and down little dowels.  Every time we hired someone new we would need to bring in a consultant to show how to use the Abacus.  And that was starting to run into some money since hardly any one, anywhere in the world knows how to add anything on one of those things, and if you start going too fast not only will your calculations suffer you could easily lose a finger nail, and with the cost of a decent manicure hovering right around, well I don't really know how much it costs, but my friend Brian said it is probably around $40.00, and maybe more, depending on the additional items chosen, and I trust Brian, he used to work in the "beauty field."

But, it was kind of fun on busy days watching our customer service people whipping those little beads up and down, while they were talking on the phone, and the noise was incredible, voices and singing beads raising a chorus of sales success to the heavens, the memory still brings a smile.  And it was one of the main reasons we never upgraded to the "slide rule" version, it was just not the same.

With any beginning there are skeptics, and this is no different, a faction of our accounting department (the ne'er-do-wells in accounts receivable) has revolted, taking over the 6th floor break room, the one with the soft serve machine.  We are mobilizing the custodial staff with a contingent from the legal department and several units from R and D to form into a double pincer movement to restore order and recapture the ice cream.

All in all, though, we feel we should be able to have this change completely implemented by the end of the month, with minimal loss of life, and little damage to the espresso machine, man, we love that machine.