A long overdue security upgrade here at Life Explained.

We here, at Life Explained, are huge, positively huge, fans of technology.  We use Apple stuff, Google stuff, Microsoft stuff, we even looked for some Linux, but they seemed to be completely out at the local gigantic Electronics Stupendous Shop.  We looked all over the place, and couldn't find any boxed Linux.  Or an employee to ask for help.  It is not the best place to buy equipment, but you can get a new movie and a 10 pound (4.53 kilogram) box of chocolate covered raisins, a 2 liter (8.45 cups) bottle of soda, and a couple of packages of Fruit by the Foot ($450.00 dentist bill), while you are picking up a new cell phone, laptop, or microwave.  We love that place.

Obviously, we are huge fans of technology (and snacking, and movies).  So, when we saw the outrageous monthly fee charged for monitoring the security system we jumped into the fray, and came up with a much less expensive, more elegant solution.

We took the panel the thieves former security company had installed and wired it to a dedicated computer.  After running an artificial intelligence routine with a variable to account for human interaction, with the ability to choose between several options we programmed all of the "personality" traits of each employee, past and present into the software.

We felt this would help the computer decide on the best action after carefully weighing all of the alternatives.  We don't want a heartless killing machine watching over the building.  Power requires discretion and choosing when to use force is not to be taken lightly.

This morning we went live.  Here is the video.

We might have to remove some of the "human," out of the algorithm and install a little more "machine."  Still we are saving a bundle on fees every month.  Most of us feel fairly secure, and we have some donuts, somewhere, in the building.

Things will get better.

Today I upgraded the operating system on my iPhone.  Actually, it did all the work, after pressing yes, and agreeing to the terms and conditions (which I didn't even read, I hope there was nothing too bad, and binding in there) my part was over.  According to the little message this update contained "improvement, bug fixes and security improvements."  All of that sounds like a good idea, and it was free, and except for minimal effort I was off the hook.  But, the question screams through the empty spaces in my mind, echoing and bouncing, yelling, and begging for attention.  What bugs needed fixed?

According to several sites on the internet, it fixes a bug that impacts keyboard responsiveness and a bug involving bluetooth keyboards with VoiceOver enabled.  Both of which are probably long past due, though I hadn't noticed either, and I do use a bluetooth keyboard on my iPad, but not VoiceOver, in fact I have never heard of it.   Also, there were some enhancements to Safari, the web browser.  So, it was probably a good idea.

Recently, Clash of Clans updated their game.  It was a big update, and added a new combat feature called Clan Wars.  A method for one clan to have a war with another clan, instead of just going out and randomly attacking some stranger, who was just hanging around, probably trying to save up enough elixir to upgrade his spell factory, when out of the blue somebody comes along and steals about 100,000 units, wipes out his defenses and smashes up all of his stuff.  Kind of a rude thing, but it is a brutal game, in a way.  Now, though, you can attack a member of the other clan and smash and grab and steal and destroy, and it is just a mirror village, and he doesn't really lose anything, I don't think.  So there are a lot of benefits.   But, our first clan war, when I tried to scout my first opponent it wouldn't let me, plus it wouldn't let me attack, or anything else to help the clan's war effort.  A little research (again, on the internet) told me that it was just a bug, and restarting the game would allow attacks, though, it was a blind attack against an enemy of unknown strength.  Which kind of sucked.  It was a bug, and the next upgrade (which came very quickly) fixed it.

Countless times during the day we encounter things that don't seem quite right.  Things that might give pause, consternation, or anger.  These occurrences often come unexpectedly, during the commute, at work,  anywhere, they will pop up, and you will think, "huh, that is odd."

They happen all of the time, they are only software glitches.  We are working to straighten them out as quickly as possible, and apologize for any inconvenience.  We appreciate your patience.

Time for another update (or I can't think of anything new today, sorry)

We don't like to brag about the power of the blog, or the influence Life Explained has over people, but, here is a little story our friend John (remember John, http://tim-thingsastheyare.blogspot.com/2013/04/today-we-are-going-in-little-different.html) told us today.  He was driving to work and stopped at McDonald's for breakfast, as is normally the case, he went through the drive through.  When he pulled up to window the person working there said, "you don't owe anything, the woman in the car ahead of you paid for yours."  And he added, "she read about you and your twitter account on the internet, and she thinks she is in love with you."  OK we made up the last bit, the part about the internet and the love.  But, the rest is true, at least according to John.  If you have any questions for John, please feel free to email him at tweettweetjohn@yahoo.com, and we will make sure he gets them.

Brian, of the recent gardening post, it was only yesterday so I am not going to post the link here, wanted a small point clarified.  The planter so accurately labeled "herbs, we think," was actually rainbow carrots, which apparently is a mix of different colored carrots, we think.  We apologize to Brian and his carrots, we think.

Recently we recorded a series of programs on television.  It was a series that could have been custom made for Life Explained entitled "Man Eating..." followed by alligator, squid, and one other aquatic animal that escapes us for the moment.  We intend to watch them as soon as we can wrest control of the remote from the fiends inhabiting our house.  But, that led to the great Life Explained debate, how do you tell the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?

After extensive research, and a thorough examination (from a safe distance, of course) we have decided there is no difference.  Please look closely at the scientific evidence below.

Alligator

Crocodile

What did we tell you?

Things that are important, would we lie?

Time for a brief update.

Gale is now a happy resident of the great country of Germany.  She is studiously learning the rules of German grammar, and trying desperately to acquire a taste for Bratwurst and Beer.  Just kidding, everybody likes Bratwurst and Beer.  It is UnAmerican to dislike those things, they are like Apple Pie and Mom.  So if you see her, say hello, or possibly Hallo.  And buy her a brat, and a beer.

One more to go, and I am finished!

Susan would like everybody to know that lists are very cool.  And lists that include numbers are like manna from Heaven.  Susan is an organizational wizard, a MENSA member with a flair for, and a several degrees in, accounting.  Fortunately, Susan is also blessed with patience and a sense of humor, I have tested both over the course of our friendship.


John is still working on his first tweet.  When it was reported that John was a man of few words it seems that may have been an understatement.  His a man of no words, at least no words for Twitter.  In an effort to assist him on the road to Twitter happiness, we have set up an email account for just this occasion.  So, please, email TweetTweetJohn@yahoo.com, pleading for his first tweet.  We will make sure he gets them all.

Bil would like it known that not only did he participate in Chess Boxing he actually won the match.  We are working quickly and fervently to have Chess Boxing added to the next Olympics.  It is a young man's sport though, so we are also working on having Checkers Beer Pong added, just in case it takes too long.  Ah, Beer Pong, a real thinking mans game, so much strategy.  And, here is proof.

Re-enactment, not Really Mike's feet

My cousin Mike, who gets younger and more attractive almost every day has developed a condition that makes him walk around wearing one sock.  A tragic affliction, and we will be taking a collection to combat this curse in a future post, but we need to come up with a name sufficiently terrifying so people will rush to send in a check.  Right now we are just having a little fun, at Mike's expense, with the old nursery rhyme;



Diddle diddle dumling, my cousin John's son Mike
is walking around, one sock off one sock on,
diddle diddle dumpling  Mike, son of John.

It still needs a little work, but research continues, tirelessly.

Life continues, (bumpy, rough, and frightening) and as long as it does we will be here to keep an eye on things.