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Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Action, Louder

When I young the US government seemed a terrifying, monstrous thing. Filled with unscrupulous, shady characters making backroom deals. Hammering away, night and day. A constant, inexorable, boundless shadow, casting a pall over the country. Caring little for the lives of individuals, sacrificing constituency for personal gain, and occasionally progress. Now, though, it seems less Kafka, and more Keystone Kops.

It is, somewhat, a delightful relief.  Imagine being certain your every move was being analyzed, and recorded. Motives dissected, examined, and quantified, every action a point on a line chart, imposed over the backdrop of expectations, who wants that kind of scrutiny.  Then, picture discovering the organization that you assumed was able to watch your every move is a giant clown mini van, filled with tired, bickering, U7 soccer players after a long day baking under the summer sun.  Tired, cranky, demanding children who have no desire or motive save misbehaving.

Recently, I read of a freshman senator penning a letter to the Ayatollah Khamenei. In this letter he told the leader of this country that he and his fellow senators would not ratify any treaty signed and approved by the President, the Leader of Iran, and the allies and other negotiating parties, and at the very least were going to modify the agreement. Saying, in effect, the International Community who has worked to come to an agreement should have talked to them first.

Certainly, this is not questioning the sincerity, or authenticity of concern. There are many questions that need answered, and everybody who has a stake in seeing the world become a safer place has the right to know. But, it does seem a little demanding, petulant, cranky.

It does raise a very good question, too. Why not get the houses of congress involved, they have done such a remarkable job improving the conditions in America, after all.  They are so good at compromise, and deal making.  If you have any doubts just look at their recent record, stellar, they should be involved in everything.
We are coming after you.
Why stop there, though?  We should all have a say in these things.  We are officially announcing the Life Explained World Improvement Initiative (LEWII, we are the Kingsmen when you need them?).  We are banding together and starting a letter writing campaign to the heads of foreign governments, large corporations, television officials, movie producers, game designers, actors, anybody, anywhere, that grates on our nerves, putting them on notice that their behavior will no longer be tolerated.  We don't (collectively) like the cut of their jib (cumulatively).

We are also thinking of starting a Facebook page, a Twitter page, a Tumblr, a blog, and a YouTube channel (mostly because we have to find a use for that $6.00 or $7.00 app (we can not remember for sure) before someones wife finds out how much it cost).*

If lines are not toed, t's are not crossed, i's are not dotted, in a way of which we approve, we will retaliate in awesome, terrible ways.  The world will feel our wrath, and tremble before our might, we will have our say. And maybe somebody elses say, as well, we have a lot of rage, and very little to be too angry about, so if you have a complaint, let us handle it for you.  Just email us at, and somebody will be sorry, the first one is free.

*We are still working on Life Explained, the Movie.  It is a big production, and it will take some time. Don't despair, at least until you watch it.